Funniest Negative Comments?

[ShelbyDawn57]

On the plus side, celibacy is not hereditary.

True, but odds are if your biological parents didn’t have kids, you won’t either.

 

[jhealy55]

Was tempted to pose this in the penis size thread, but one of the curious negative comments I received was that I casually described that the male main character had an 8" member. Two different comments were left that it somehow ruined the moment (and possibly their desire to continue reading the story).

Given that the character was well over 6', it doesn't seem excessive and fairly height/weight proportionate. Granted I've never researched the subject and haven't done a lot of comparing with other guys, but it didn't register as something that should/would have popped up as objectionable or off-putting to most readers. I've picked up a lot of unrealistic assumptions from watching porn, but those mainly have to do with how prompt and attentive service professionals are to lonely housewives in the middle of a weekday.

Wondering if it seemed crazy, unrealistic or somehow too specific a stat to describe to most of you.

 

[jhealy55]

True, but odds are if your biological parents didn’t have kids, you won’t either.

What's the Steven Wright joke?

The sandbox in my backyard was filled with quicksand. I was an only child...eventually.

 

[StillStunned]

Was tempted to pose this in the penis size thread, but one of the curious negative comments I received was that I casually described that the male main character had an 8" member. Two different comments were left that it somehow ruined the moment (and possibly their desire to continue reading the story).

Given that the character was well over 6', it doesn't seem excessive and fairly height/weight proportionate. Granted I've never researched the subject and haven't done a lot of comparing with other guys, but it didn't register as something that should/would have popped up as objectionable or off-putting to most readers. I've picked up a lot of unrealistic assumptions from watching porn, but those mainly have to do with how prompt and attentive service professionals are to lonely housewives in the middle of a weekday.

Wondering if it seemed crazy, unrealistic or somehow too specific a stat to describe to most of you.

There was a thread a while ago on the General Board about whether or not cocks actually existed that were longer than 6 inches. The OP didn't believe that they did.

 

[djrip]

Was tempted to pose this in the penis size thread, but one of the curious negative comments I received was that I casually described that the male main character had an 8" member. Two different comments were left that it somehow ruined the moment (and possibly their desire to continue reading the story).

Given that the character was well over 6', it doesn't seem excessive and fairly height/weight proportionate. Granted I've never researched the subject and haven't done a lot of comparing with other guys, but it didn't register as something that should/would have popped up as objectionable or off-putting to most readers. I've picked up a lot of unrealistic assumptions from watching porn, but those mainly have to do with how prompt and attentive service professionals are to lonely housewives in the middle of a weekday.

Wondering if it seemed crazy, unrealistic or somehow too specific a stat to describe to most of you.

I don't think height or overall body size is proportional to penis size. That said 8" is perfectly reasonable, if a couple above average.

Wait. I'm assuming you mean erect. 8" seems crazy for flaccid.

 

[jhealy55]

I don't think height or overall body size is proportional to penis size. That said 8" is perfectly reasonable, if a couple above average.

Right?

It wasn't meant to be comical or exaggerated. Just kind of hit me off guard. Did it come across as trite? Was the fact that I was using a specific unit of measure the problem? The fact that my characters don't adhere to the metric system?

 

[ShelbyDawn57]

Was tempted to pose this in the penis size thread, but one of the curious negative comments I received was that I casually described that the male main character had an 8" member. Two different comments were left that it somehow ruined the moment (and possibly their desire to continue reading the story).

Given that the character was well over 6', it doesn't seem excessive and fairly height/weight proportionate. Granted I've never researched the subject and haven't done a lot of comparing with other guys, but it didn't register as something that should/would have popped up as objectionable or off-putting to most readers. I've picked up a lot of unrealistic assumptions from watching porn, but those mainly have to do with how prompt and attentive service professionals are to lonely housewives in the middle of a weekday.

Wondering if it seemed crazy, unrealistic or somehow too specific a stat to describe to most of you

Not exacty a negative comment but it does tie in to yours...

Always hoping I could be romantic.
Great story and writing, once I got past his 6 inch height.(I used 6" instead of 6')
Only fly was I thought he was too quick to adapt to suddenly being in a female body. I had considered there would be a transition period for him and his parents, but it just seemed to miraculously be honky dory.
That aside I loved reading your story, perhaps I am a hopeless romantic after all.

 

[UnquietDreams]

It wasn't meant to be comical or exaggerated. Just kind of hit me off guard. Did it come across as trite? Was the fact that I was using a specific unit of measure the problem? The fact that my characters don't adhere to the metric system?

Eh, it can be seen as a bit of a cliché, especially for anyone (like yours truly) who read a lot of Penthouse Forum, where every guy had eight or nine inches of "throbbing man meat." Poets, those Forum writers, every one.

Or maybe they just love the metric system. "203 mm" would have worked better for them...

 

[jhealy55]

Not exacty a negative comment but it does tie in to yours...

Always hoping I could be romantic.
Great story and writing, once I got past his 6 inch height.(I used 6" instead of 6')
Only fly was I thought he was too quick to adapt to suddenly being in a female body. I had considered there would be a transition period for him and his parents, but it just seemed to miraculously be honky dory.
That aside I loved reading your story, perhaps I am a hopeless romantic after all.

racial slurs aside, it seemed like mostly positive feedback

 

[jhealy55]

Eh, it can be seen as a bit of a cliché, especially for anyone (like yours truly) who read a lot of Penthouse Forum, where every guy had eight or nine inches of "throbbing man meat." Poets, those Forum writers, every one.

Or maybe they just love the metric system. "203 mm" would have worked better for them...

that seems awkwardly specific

"He whipped out his 203 mm of towering manhood, watching her eyes transition through the stages of shock, amazement and delight as she visually surveyed it's impressive length."

 

[StillStunned]

Maybe use thumbs, just to confuse readers.

"She watched, wide-eyed, as he threw open his robe to reveal seven throbbing thumbs."

 

[BlueEyes1969]

Is that like being chronologically well-endowed?...or overly-endowed?

That would be an absolute bonus!

 

[TarnishedPenny]

My 750 word event submission (which had an introduction saying there was no actual sex) just drew the following from, of course, our old friend Anonymous. In its entirety: “Too short. Incomplete.”

Will the terror never end?

 

[UnquietDreams]

On one of my incest stories, I had two complaints that the sister cusses too much during the teasing. Good to know people have a line they don't cross when a brother and sister are getting ready to fuck.

 

[Djmac1031]

Posted this in "Comments That Make Your Day," but I suppose it fits here as well.

Got told I was going to Hell because I casually mentioned I didn't believe in God in my newest story.

by Buster2U on 5 hours ago
It seemed like such a sweet story. However, There is a God. So it is totally fiction. Enjoy it while you can. The lord appeared to me, here at work, almost 10 years ago. The 10 year anniversary will be in about 4 weeks or so. I guess I should write a story about it. LOL This story was nice, but just fantasy. Good luck with that. NON believers only have one place to go and it isn't to the good place. Good Luck with that. Buster2U.

Buster did not approve. Just as I'm sure Jesus would not approve of his Loving Wives stories. Or his browser history.

 

[Trionyx]

From my 750 word story Candy Hearts.

"This is so jr high and hardly romance. Zero erotica. HATE THESE 750 CHALLENGES AS THEY ARE A WASTE OF TIME. Even the most experienced writers never make it worth reading as there is no chance for true development of even the smallest segment of interaction for erotica/romance. It would make more sense if they did a 1500 word challege not counting any words less than 3 letters. Not even the folks behind Literotica could meet the challenge of 750 words or less with any success."

(The all-caps were in the original posting.) So if you hate the challenges and they are a waste of time, why do you read them????????????????

 

[Smuttyandfun]

From my 750 word story Candy Hearts.

"This is so jr high and hardly romance. Zero erotica. HATE THESE 750 CHALLENGES AS THEY ARE A WASTE OF TIME. Even the most experienced writers never make it worth reading as there is no chance for true development of even the smallest segment of interaction for erotica/romance. It would make more sense if they did a 1500 word challege not counting any words less than 3 letters. Not even the folks behind Literotica could meet the challenge of 750 words or less with any success."

(The all-caps were in the original posting.) So if you hate the challenges and they are a waste of time, why do you read them????????????????

Exactly. It would be fun to see them attempt to write one, though. I bet they'd change their tune when they discovered its not exactly easy to pack something worth reading into so few words.

 

[Zootonius]

Posted this in "Comments That Make Your Day," but I suppose it fits here as well.

Got told I was going to Hell because I casually mentioned I didn't believe in God in my newest story.



Buster did not approve. Just as I'm sure Jesus would not approve of his Loving Wives stories. Or his browser history.

My, my. His list of favorites is so long that I assume the only day he doesn't read erotic stories is the sabbath.

 

[mildlyaroused]

When I published my first story on this site, tagged with the word 'cheat', someone said:

"Well written story about a complete asshole and his despicable cunt friend."

 

[SimonDoom]

"Interesting until your rampant self loathing and lack of imagination killed the ending."

My story "Penis Fish" wasn't everybody's cup of tea.

 

[onehitwanda]

My story "Penis Fish" wasn't everybody's cup of tea.

I'm sure there's a reason for it, but I can't quite put my finger on quite what it could be.

 

[SimonDoom]

There was this one, to one of my mom-son stories, in response to a scene where son is spying on mom masturbating and her finger strays south. It made me chuckle.

Damn...
Don't understand why people playing around assholes has to be brought into an INCEST TABOO story. The two don't mix and one doesn't have anything to do with the other. Damn! Another screwed story.

The Old Guy

 

[Lifestyle66]

My latest story in Loving Wives "The Loving Wife - 750 Words" is about a wife giving her husband a blowjob. I might have posted it to Erotic Couplings. But after posting to LW and the first comment asked, "Where's the cheating?", I added a comment saying I should have changed the ending from her feeling "being so desired" to "being desired more than the others!"


An Anonymous comment four hours ago said; "More than the others" would have ruined it. It was OK, not great, not awful but making it seem she was one of several would have made it a 1 instead of a 3."


Further proof that the LW 1-bombers hate cheating husbands too.

 

[RachelPost]

In the story, Paradise: The Candidate Surrenders there is this line. After being confronted about her being there, Alison tries to deny her presence in the sex club.
"I don't know what you are talking about. I've never heard of that place before," Alison replied indignantly. "I wouldn't be caught dead in a place like that."

So, anonymous writes:
"This makes no sense. If she never heard of it and doesn't know where it is or what kind of place it is, why would she instantly say she wouldn't be caught dead there? Just something to think about."

How about because she's trying to deny that she was actually there? He missed the whole point of the denial.

 

[Jackie.Hikaru]

Not so much negative as aggressively positive. This rollercoaster ride of a comment made me lol, yet still unsure whether I should be insulted or proud

Anonymous
To the author; you lowlife mother fucker. No self respecting man should be reduced to tears by something like this first thing in the morning. I hope you're happy. Cheese Louis, this about ripped my guts out. Short story. Incredibly well done, you asshole.