Fun with elevator's.

[OUTSIDER]

1. Make race car noises when anyone gets on or off.
2. Blow your nose and offer to show the contents of your Kleenex to other passengers.
3. Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering: "Shut up, dammit, all of you just shut UP!"
4. Whistle the first seven notes of "It's a Small World" incessantly.
5. Sell Girl Scout cookies.
6. On a long ride, sway side to side at the natural frequency of the elevator.
7. Shave.
8. Crack open your briefcase or purse, and while peering inside ask: "Got enough air in there?"
9. Offer name tags to everyone getting on the elevator. Wear yours upside-down.
10. Stand silent and motionless in the corner, facing the wall, without getting off.
11. When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then act embarrassed when they open by themselves.
12. Lean over to another passenger and whisper: "Noogie patrol coming!"
13. Greet everyone getting on the elevator with a warm handshake and ask them to call you Admiral.
14. One word: Flatulence!
15. On the highest floor, hold the door open and demand that it stay open until you hear the penny you dropped down the shaft go "plink" at the bottom.
16. Do Tai Chi exercises.
17. Stare, grinning, at another passenger for a while, and then announce: "I've got new socks on!"
18. When at least 8 people have boarded, moan from the back: "Oh, not now, damn motion sickness!"
19. Give religious tracts to each passenger.
20. Meow occasionally.
21. Bet the other passengers you can fit a quarter in your nose.
22. Frown and mutter "gotta go, gotta go" then sigh and say "oops!"
23. Show other passengers a wound and ask if it looks infected.
24. Sing "Mary had a little lamb" while continually pushing buttons.
25. Holler "Chutes away!" whenever the elevator descends.
26. Walk on with a cooler that says "human head" on the side.
27. Stare at another passenger for a while, then announce "You're one of THEM!" and move to the far corner of the elevator.
28. Burp, and then say "mmmm...tasty!"
29. Leave a box between the doors.
30. Ask each passenger getting on if you can push the button for them.
31. Wear a puppet on your hand and talk to other passengers "through" it.
32. Start a sing-along.
33. When the elevator is silent, look around and ask "is that your beeper?"
34. Play the harmonica.
35. Shadow box.
36. Say "Ding!" at each floor.
37. Lean against the button panel.
38. Say "I wonder what all these do..." and push the red buttons.
39. Listen to the elevator walls with a stethoscope.
40. Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers that this is your "personal space."
41. Bring a chair along.
42. Take a bite of a sandwich and ask another passenger: "Wanna see wha in muh mouf?"
43. Blow spit bubbles.
44. Pull your gum out of your mouth in long strings.
45. Announce in a demonic voice: "I must find a more suitable host body."
46. Carry a blanket and clutch it protectively.
47. Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button.
48. Wear "X-Ray Specs" and leer suggestively at the passengers.
49. Stare at your thumb and say "I think it's getting larger."
50. If anyone brushes against you, recoil and holler "Bad touch!"
51. Bring a water pistol. Soak everyone's shoes.
52. Start brushing off invisible bugs from your arms, screaming "Aaughh! Get them off!"
53. Challenge your neighbor to a "Tic-Tac-Toe" tournament.
54. Laugh hysterically for five seconds, stop, and glare at the other passengers like they are crazy.
55. Charge into the elevator dripping wet, holding a towel and wearing only a bath robe. Mutter something about how husbands/wives always come home early just when it's getting to the good part.
56. Make chalk drawings on the walls.
57. As the elevator is going up, jump violently up and down, shouting "Down! I said down, dammit!"
58. Crouch in one corner and growl menacingly at everyone who gets on.
59. Try to get a game of "Twister" going.
60. Wrinkle your nose and smell the air repeatedly. Sniff at your neighbor suspiciously, give a disgusted frown, and take a step away.

 

[Mistress]

LMAO! Good ones, the sad part is I"ve actually done some of those while trying to embaress some old friends of mine.

 

[Bob Peale]

We once got bored waiting in the queue at the Port-A-John's and began cheering for for ours. By the time we got up, we had all the queues racing one another.

 

[OUTSIDER]

Glad you guy's like it, I found it on a porn site and thought I'd let my friends see it to

 

[OUTSIDER]

Just thought I'd bump this up for the night timer's to read.

 

[ohiobbw]

that reminds me!

Things to do when you're bored at WalMart
(the numbers are all different because they are from different lists!)

1. Get boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when they don't realize it.

2. Set all the alarm clocks to go off at ten minute intervals throughout the day.

3. Make a trail of orange juice on the floor, leading to the rest rooms.

4. Walk up to an employee and tell him in an official tone, "I think we've got a Code 3 in house wares," and see what happens.

5. Tune all the radios to a polka station; then turn them all off and turn the volumes to "10."

6. Challenge other customers to duels with tubes of gift wrap.

7. Put M&M's on layaway.

8. Move "Caution: Wet Floor" signs to carpeted areas.

9. Set up a tent in the camping department; tell others you'll only invite them in if they bring pillows from Bed and Bath.

10. When someone asks if you need help, begin to cry and ask, "Why won't you people just leave me alone?"

11. Look right into the security camera, and use it as a mirror while you pick your nose.

12. Take up an entire aisle in Toys by setting up a full scale battlefield with G.I. Joes vs. the X-Men.

13. Ask other customers if they have any Grey Poupon.

14. While handling guns in the hunting department, suddenly ask the clerk if he knows where the anti-depressants are.

15. Switch the men's and women's signs on the doors of the rest rooms.

16. Dart around suspiciously while humming the theme from "Mission Impossible."

17. Set up a "Valet Parking" sign in front of the store.

18. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna" look with various funnels.

19. Hide in the clothing racks and when people browse through, say things like "pick me! pick me!!"

20. When an announcement comes over the loudspeaker, assume the fetal position and scream, "No, no! It's those voices again!"

21. If the store has a food court, buy a soft drink; explain that you don't get out much, and ask if they can put a little umbrella in it. And last, but not least...

22. Go into the dressing room and yell real loud..."Hey, we're out of toilet paper in here!"

1. Take shopping carts for the express purpose of filling them and stranding them at strategic locations.

2. Ride those little electronic cars at the front of the store.

4. Start playing Football; see how many people you can get to join in.

5. Run up to an employee (preferably a male) while squeezing your legs together and practically yell at him " I needsome tampons!!"

6. Try on bras in the sewing/fabric department.

7. Try on bras over top of your clothes.

9. While walking around the store, sing in your loudest voice possible "sex and candy"

12. Play with the automatic doors.

13. Walk up to complete strangers and say, "Hi! I haven't seen you in so long!..." etc. See if they play along to avoid embarrassment.

14. While walking through the clothing department,ask yourself loud enough for all to hear, "Who BUYS this crap, anyway?"

15. Repeat Number 14 in the jewelry department.

16. Try putting different pairs of women's panties on your head and walk around the store casually.

17. Leave small sacrifices or gifts in the hands of the mannequins.

18. Play soccer with a group of friends, using the entire store as your playing field.

19. As the cashier runs your purchases over the scanner, look mesmerized and say, "Wow. Magic!"

23. Contaminate the entire auto department by sampling all the spray air fresheners.

24. Nonchalantly "test" the brushes and combs in Cosmetics.

25. Drape a blanket around your shoulders and run around saying, "...I'm Batman. Come, Robin--to the Batcave!"

26. TP as much of the store as possible.

27. Randomly throw things over into neighboring aisles.

28. Play with the calculators so that they all spell "hello"upside
down.

30. When two or three people are walking ahead of you, run between them, yelling, "Red Rover!"

38. Attempt to fit into very large gym bags.

39. Attempt to fit others into very large gym bags.

40. Fill your cart with boxes of condoms, and watch everyone's jaws drop when you attempt to buy them.

41. Set up a "Valet Parking" sign in front of the store.

42. Two words: "Marco Polo."

43. Leave Cheerios in Lawn and Garden, pillows in the pet food aisle, etc.

44. "Re-alphabetize" the CD's in Electronics.

46. Hide in the clothing racks and when people browse through, say things like "the fat man walks alone," and scare them
into believing that the clothes are talking to them

47. While walking around alone, pretend someone is with you
and get into a very serious conversation. Exp: The person is breaking up with you and you begin crying "How could you do this to me? I thought you loved me! I knew there was another girl, but I thought I had won. You kissed ME darling." Then act as though you are being beaten and fall onto the ground screaming
and having convulsions.

49. Go to an empty checkout stand and try to check people out.

50. Drag a lounge chair on display over to the magazines and
relax.

.If the store has a food court, buy a soft drink; explain that you
don't get out much,and ask if they can put a little umbrella in it.

51. Get a stuffed animal and go to the front of the
store and begin stroking it lovingly, saying "Good girl, good Bessie."

52. Go over to the shoe department and try on every pair of shoes, not
putting one pair back. Take the paper from the boxes and throw
it in various aisles

53. When someone steps away from their cart to look at something, quickly ake off with it without saying a word.

54. Follow people through the aisles, always staying about five
feet away. Continue to do this until they leave the department.

56. Test the fishing rods and see what you can "catch" from the
other aisles.

57. In the makeup department, spray yourself with every perfume
there is, then walk up to a boy who is with another girl and start
flirting with him in that annoying, ditsy way. "hi!!!! (giggle) What's your sign?(giggle)." When the boy shows no interest, start hitting on the girl the exact sameway.

58. Hold indoor shopping cart races.

59. Redress the mannequins as you see fit.

60.When there are people behind you, walk REALLY SLOW,
especially thin narrow aisles.

61.Relax in the patio furniture until you get kicked out.

63. Pay off layaways fifty cents at a time.

64. Say things like, "Would you be so kind as to direct me to
your Twinkies?"

65. Make up nonsense products and ask newly hired employees
if there are any in stock, i.e., "Do you have any Shnerples here?"

66. Ride a display bicycle through the store; claim you're taking
it for a "test drive."

67. Leave cryptic messages on the typewriters.

68. Get boxes of Condoms and randomly put them in peoples
carts when they don't realize it!

69. Drive around the entrances screaming out the window "the
British are coming "

 

[Willing and Unsure]

17. Stare, grinning, at another passenger for a while, and then announce: "I've got new socks on!"

i actually do this when i'm in a crowded elevator... the looks on people's faces are hysterical. it just about kills me to keep from laughing hysterically at them

13. Ask other customers if they have any Grey Poupon.
25. Drape a blanket around your shoulders and run around saying, "...I'm Batman. Come, Robin--to the Batcave!"

and both of those in the Walmarts