John_Whittaker0826
Literotica Guru
- Joined
- Apr 7, 2013
- Posts
- 1,765
I'm so glad this semester is fucking over!!! Fuck yeah!!!
Fuck!!!!
- Thread starter MrsBorg
- Start date
Oak_Tree
Really Experienced
- Joined
- Nov 6, 2008
- Posts
- 258
Twas the night before fuckin' Christmas
When all through the shitty-ass house
Not a creature was goddamn stirring
Not even that bitch of a mouse.
The fucked-up stockings were hung by the crappy chimney with care,
In hopes that St. Cocksucker soon would be there.
The little bastards were nestled all snug in their fucking beds,
While visions of hot motherfucking sugar-plums danced in their heads.
And mamma, that cunt in her ‘kerchief, and I in my gay fucking cap,
Had just gotten shitfaced snockered out of our brains for a long winter's nap.
When out on the lawn there arose a fucking clatter,
My bitch ass wife kicked me out of the bed to see what was the matter.
Away to the window I flew like after ripping some ass,
That fart stank like shit and I had to light a match.
The moon on the breast of the honky-white snow
Was bright as a motherfucker on the streets below.
When, what to my fucking eyes should appear,
But some fucknuts in a sleigh pulled by some bitch-ass reindeer.
With a little old fartknocker, strung out and dopesick,
I knew in a moment that that fucker must be St Nick.
They were fast little fuckers, those coursers of his came,
And that loud-ass shithead had no idea it was 3 AM so he called them by name!
"Now Jizzmopper! now, Felcher! now, Smegma and That Cock Whose Name I Don't Know!
On, Dickhead! On, Fuckface! Holy fuck I could go for some blow!
Just set her down here! I need to take a wicked nasty piss!
Fuck it! I'll whizz off the roof. That way I can't miss."
And with the elegance of Snooki and the grace of Chris Farley
He stomped around on the roof about as quiet as a Harley.
As I drew in my head, and was turning around,
Down the chimney drunk old St Cocksucker fell down.
He was dressed like shit warmed over and looked like a freak,
Honestly, I didn't know if he was a rapist, a molester, or just a creep.
He stumbled around like he was completely drunk off his ass.
In his whole bloated body there wasn't one ounce of class.
His eyes-oh so yellow! his skin covered in sores!
His nose was riddled with gin blossoms and I think he had just finished banging some whores!
The cold sores on his mouth oozed with puss and from his lips dangled some drool,
And the back of his pants was stained brown with old stool.
The stump of a crackpipe he held tight in his teeth,
And the smoke it encircled his head like a wreath.
He had jaundiced eyes and tracks up and down,
And looked like a festive bum from the bad parts of town!
His cock was chubby and plump, and covered with veins,
I was amazed by the size tho' I know it must have given Ms. Claus some pains!
He had dropped trou in my living room room with nary a pause,
And muttered "I fucking hate being motherfucking Santa Claus."
He shat in the fireplace and went straight to his work,
He downloaded some porn and then started to jerk.
And some jizz on my wife's fancy iMac,
He walked pantless outside, still eating his snack!
He staggered to his sleigh and I think he crapped his pants,
He dropped some Ecstacy and started blasting some trance.
But I heard him exclaim, looking far from well,
"Fuck all of y'all, and to all y'all go to hell!"
http://jezebel.com/5860345/comment-of-the-day-the-filthiest-christmas-story-youll-ever-read
When all through the shitty-ass house
Not a creature was goddamn stirring
Not even that bitch of a mouse.
The fucked-up stockings were hung by the crappy chimney with care,
In hopes that St. Cocksucker soon would be there.
The little bastards were nestled all snug in their fucking beds,
While visions of hot motherfucking sugar-plums danced in their heads.
And mamma, that cunt in her ‘kerchief, and I in my gay fucking cap,
Had just gotten shitfaced snockered out of our brains for a long winter's nap.
When out on the lawn there arose a fucking clatter,
My bitch ass wife kicked me out of the bed to see what was the matter.
Away to the window I flew like after ripping some ass,
That fart stank like shit and I had to light a match.
The moon on the breast of the honky-white snow
Was bright as a motherfucker on the streets below.
When, what to my fucking eyes should appear,
But some fucknuts in a sleigh pulled by some bitch-ass reindeer.
With a little old fartknocker, strung out and dopesick,
I knew in a moment that that fucker must be St Nick.
They were fast little fuckers, those coursers of his came,
And that loud-ass shithead had no idea it was 3 AM so he called them by name!
"Now Jizzmopper! now, Felcher! now, Smegma and That Cock Whose Name I Don't Know!
On, Dickhead! On, Fuckface! Holy fuck I could go for some blow!
Just set her down here! I need to take a wicked nasty piss!
Fuck it! I'll whizz off the roof. That way I can't miss."
And with the elegance of Snooki and the grace of Chris Farley
He stomped around on the roof about as quiet as a Harley.
As I drew in my head, and was turning around,
Down the chimney drunk old St Cocksucker fell down.
He was dressed like shit warmed over and looked like a freak,
Honestly, I didn't know if he was a rapist, a molester, or just a creep.
He stumbled around like he was completely drunk off his ass.
In his whole bloated body there wasn't one ounce of class.
His eyes-oh so yellow! his skin covered in sores!
His nose was riddled with gin blossoms and I think he had just finished banging some whores!
The cold sores on his mouth oozed with puss and from his lips dangled some drool,
And the back of his pants was stained brown with old stool.
The stump of a crackpipe he held tight in his teeth,
And the smoke it encircled his head like a wreath.
He had jaundiced eyes and tracks up and down,
And looked like a festive bum from the bad parts of town!
His cock was chubby and plump, and covered with veins,
I was amazed by the size tho' I know it must have given Ms. Claus some pains!
He had dropped trou in my living room room with nary a pause,
And muttered "I fucking hate being motherfucking Santa Claus."
He shat in the fireplace and went straight to his work,
He downloaded some porn and then started to jerk.
And some jizz on my wife's fancy iMac,
He walked pantless outside, still eating his snack!
He staggered to his sleigh and I think he crapped his pants,
He dropped some Ecstacy and started blasting some trance.
But I heard him exclaim, looking far from well,
"Fuck all of y'all, and to all y'all go to hell!"
http://jezebel.com/5860345/comment-of-the-day-the-filthiest-christmas-story-youll-ever-read
INeedLove
Soft petals
- Joined
- Jun 18, 2005
- Posts
- 15,228
Come on Litsters let's just FUCK
For fuck sake surely most PGers could post on here!
~ The fuck you had today with your partner/lover/friend/Master/slave.
~ The fuck you wish you could have uttered when your boss asked you do do yet more work.
~ The fuck you did say out loud when that cat/dog/raccoon/deer/elephant ran across in front of your car/truck/lorry/bus/plane this morning!
Let's FUCK!!
Hi Mrs B! How the fuck are you doing? It seems a lot of the fucking regulars are taking a fucking break. Happy fucking Hump day!!
MrsBorg
Assimilated by Borg
- Joined
- Jun 27, 2010
- Posts
- 2,398
((((INL))))
Fucking lovely to see you
Fucking love your fucking fuckable tits.
Oak_Tree
Really Experienced
- Joined
- Nov 6, 2008
- Posts
- 258
DarkLordFett
Literotica Guru
- Joined
- Jul 17, 2007
- Posts
- 7,386
Time for a fuck I think
Where do I fucking queue up?
John_Whittaker0826
Literotica Guru
- Joined
- Apr 7, 2013
- Posts
- 1,765
Fuck, when will they post the rest of the grades?
MrsBorg
Assimilated by Borg
- Joined
- Jun 27, 2010
- Posts
- 2,398
MrsBorg
Assimilated by Borg
- Joined
- Jun 27, 2010
- Posts
- 2,398
MrsBorg
Assimilated by Borg
- Joined
- Jun 27, 2010
- Posts
- 2,398
When you are worn to a fucking frazzle! Grades for you or a loved one??
skirt_chaser
Literotica Guru
- Joined
- Feb 16, 2009
- Posts
- 3,203
I'm so fed up with small and narrow minded women on a porn site. FUCK! 
SimplyMsT
Literotica Guru
- Joined
- Sep 8, 2013
- Posts
- 17,377
Can I hire a hit man from some far flung country to deal with Borg's fucking ex wife???
I'll do it ...
Fuckin A
onlydreams
Literotica Guru
- Joined
- May 24, 2013
- Posts
- 3,309
aaahhhhhhhhh...............no matter how early I start alwaysssss late...........
DarkLordFett
Literotica Guru
- Joined
- Jul 17, 2007
- Posts
- 7,386
Can I hire a hit man from some far flung country to deal with Borg's fucking ex wife???
*Best mafia voice* How fuckin' dealt wit ah we talkin' about, heah?
John_Whittaker0826
Literotica Guru
- Joined
- Apr 7, 2013
- Posts
- 1,765
Fuck! Can't wait until I pull out that prime rib later tonight!!
I'll do it ...
Fuckin A
Fuck! I fucking missed Ms. fucking T fucking again.
John_Whittaker0826
Literotica Guru
- Joined
- Apr 7, 2013
- Posts
- 1,765
MrsBorg
Assimilated by Borg
- Joined
- Jun 27, 2010
- Posts
- 2,398
I'll do it ...
Fuckin A
Thanks Ms T - we will drop off the payment next year, assuming we can still afford to fucking travel......
And you forgot to FUCK ~ shame on you!!
Very fucking dealt with ~ but Borg's best friend is worried about having to bail me out of jail for making threats. I told him it was on Lit and that a) I am anonymous and b) no one will take it seriously lol
For me and they were great, so now I'm happy!
I saw on another thread John. Well fucking done!!!
Last edited:
DarkLordFett
Literotica Guru
- Joined
- Jul 17, 2007
- Posts
- 7,386
Very fucking dealt with ~ but Borg's best friend is worried about having to bail me out of jail for making threats. I told him it was on Lit and that a) I am anonymous and b) no one will take it seriously lol
Ah right, her ass is fuckin' dealt wit!
MrsBorg
Assimilated by Borg
- Joined
- Jun 27, 2010
- Posts
- 2,398
It's fucking cold outside. Brrr. Darn it dog---go already!
Cats are so much fucking easier on that front!!
Happy Fucking Christmas ((((INL))))
John_Whittaker0826
Literotica Guru
- Joined
- Apr 7, 2013
- Posts
- 1,765
Fuck yeah!! It's Christmas Eve 
