Fuck These Self-Deprecating and Physical Bashing Threads: Sexy is as Sexy Does
- Thread starter lavender
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No whammy's, big money, big money!
Lavender,
Read, read, read. And I agree. Sexy IS as sexy does. But it's not all in the mind for everyone. McDonalds hamburgers might be the greatest shit in the world, but I wouldn't know, cause they look bad. Maybe for you, the mind is all the matters, and more power to you. But I don't think I'm evil because looks are thrown into the equation. I prefer firm to soft. Tight to loose. That's just what I like.
Lavender,
Read, read, read. And I agree. Sexy IS as sexy does. But it's not all in the mind for everyone. McDonalds hamburgers might be the greatest shit in the world, but I wouldn't know, cause they look bad. Maybe for you, the mind is all the matters, and more power to you. But I don't think I'm evil because looks are thrown into the equation. I prefer firm to soft. Tight to loose. That's just what I like.
Laurel
Kitty Mama
- Joined
- Aug 27, 1999
- Posts
- 20,693
Looks, schmooks.
You know what? Some guys cheat on supermodels. Some plain women enjoy long, healthy, loving relationships. The better looking you are, the more attention you're likely to get from the opposite sex - but more is not necessarily better. Being better looking does not guarantee you happiness in a relationship.
Every one of us (if we're lucky) will end up wrinkly, shriveled, and funny-looking. Physical beauty fades - that's a fact. If people spent as much time on improving their insides as they do fussing and worrying and complaining about their outsides, they'd be much more successful with the opposite sex and much happier all around as well.
I'm not saying that we should just give up and let our bodies go to hell. I do we should spend AT LEAST as much time on improving ourselves as people as we do worrying about how we look. Men who are charismatic, witty, well-rounded, and upbeat are always more interesting to me than men who are not, even if the latter happens to be graced with finer features and a nice ass. Personality plays a much larger part in how we are perceived physically than people realize. A plump woman with charisma can have her pick of men - even of men who claim to not like plump women.
Yes, there will always be those who - no matter how charismatic and interesting you are - will not like you because you are heavy/thin/short/tall/blonde/whatever. I'm a small-breasted woman. Men who really value big breasts aren't going to dig me. I have many choices on how to react to this. I can bitch and moan about how their sooo mean. I can go get a boob job to try to get their attention. OR I can accept the fact that they are entitled to whatever standards they choose - just as I am - and I can find myself a guy who's into silly, small-breasted, short women. I chose the latter.
Happiness is not something that randomly falls in your lap. Happiness it something you choose, and fight for - and it's worth the effort.
You know what? Some guys cheat on supermodels. Some plain women enjoy long, healthy, loving relationships. The better looking you are, the more attention you're likely to get from the opposite sex - but more is not necessarily better. Being better looking does not guarantee you happiness in a relationship.
Every one of us (if we're lucky) will end up wrinkly, shriveled, and funny-looking. Physical beauty fades - that's a fact. If people spent as much time on improving their insides as they do fussing and worrying and complaining about their outsides, they'd be much more successful with the opposite sex and much happier all around as well.
I'm not saying that we should just give up and let our bodies go to hell. I do we should spend AT LEAST as much time on improving ourselves as people as we do worrying about how we look. Men who are charismatic, witty, well-rounded, and upbeat are always more interesting to me than men who are not, even if the latter happens to be graced with finer features and a nice ass. Personality plays a much larger part in how we are perceived physically than people realize. A plump woman with charisma can have her pick of men - even of men who claim to not like plump women.
Yes, there will always be those who - no matter how charismatic and interesting you are - will not like you because you are heavy/thin/short/tall/blonde/whatever. I'm a small-breasted woman. Men who really value big breasts aren't going to dig me. I have many choices on how to react to this. I can bitch and moan about how their sooo mean. I can go get a boob job to try to get their attention. OR I can accept the fact that they are entitled to whatever standards they choose - just as I am - and I can find myself a guy who's into silly, small-breasted, short women. I chose the latter.
Happiness is not something that randomly falls in your lap. Happiness it something you choose, and fight for - and it's worth the effort.
U
Laurel
Kitty Mama
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- Aug 27, 1999
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- 20,693
One more thing before I stop babbling...
No matter what you look like, there's someone out there who thinks you're the mat's ceow...but not if you sit around with a sour puss on all the time. No one wants to be around depressing or sad people. So put a smile on your face, damnit! It'll do wonders.
No matter what you look like, there's someone out there who thinks you're the mat's ceow...but not if you sit around with a sour puss on all the time. No one wants to be around depressing or sad people. So put a smile on your face, damnit! It'll do wonders.
Mellon Collie
Literotica Guru
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lavender said:
So true, so true.
I find myself meeting good looking people al the time, people whom many would deem sexy but when you get to know this person, you learn how they truly are and how they interact with other people. And well, let's just say no matter how good looking they are, nothing can make up for that and they tend too lose most of that initial appeal.
The same could be said for the opposite, I've know plenty of people whom I think are extremely sexy but are not what many of my friends consider to be a looker.
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Hamletmaschine
This space for rent
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I don't know why this has you so upset, either, Lavy, and I won't hazard a guess. But I'll tell you honestly how I feel about this "pity party" issue and the pigeonholing of people in terms of their looks.
When I flirt around here and in RL, it's just a silly game, I think. And part of that game involves playing the "pity me" role--nobody likes me, everybody hates me--just to provoke someone to say it isn't true. There's a lot of that here, I believe, though there may indeed be some people who genuinely feel pitiful. I don't need anyone to tell me how this or that I am--they don't even fucking know me, how could they possibly offer a comment that has any validity to me--but it's part of the game.
I do not need any external validation of my worth. I am very confident about myself. Too much so, according to some of my friends. People are scared of me in RL--which isn't my intention at all, but that's how self-confidence affects some people. Not physically scared of me, but in other ways. I think I understand why you get the "bitch" label, because I often get the male equivalent of that. You're self-confident, strong, and don't put up with a lot of b.s.
But sometimes it's just fun to play around. And that's partly why I come here. Don't you?
As for the physical attributes matter. ... Hm, well, the research on this subject is fairly straightforward. The single most important factor determining whether an interpersonal relationship will shift from casual to more intimate is whether the two individuals find each other physically attractive. Standards of physical attractiveness vary somewhat from individual to individual of course, but they are also culturally and historically specific. If I don't find you physically attractive, I won't be inclined to want to become better acquainted with you. Unless....
Unless the other factors come into play first. And those are: physical proximity (i.e., people we're close to all the time can start looking pretty good to us) and a perception of shared similarity (you like punk music, I like punk music). If those things take root first, then physical attraction is much less important.
That's the positive thing about this form of communication, supposedly, isn't it? You get to meet people and discover similarities and get a kind of proximity, without the physical appearance getting in the way. A better chance, perhaps, to get to know someone before they discover that you've got all these awful physical imperfections...oh, my!
Okay, I'll stop now. I don't know where else I want to go with this.....
When I flirt around here and in RL, it's just a silly game, I think. And part of that game involves playing the "pity me" role--nobody likes me, everybody hates me--just to provoke someone to say it isn't true. There's a lot of that here, I believe, though there may indeed be some people who genuinely feel pitiful. I don't need anyone to tell me how this or that I am--they don't even fucking know me, how could they possibly offer a comment that has any validity to me--but it's part of the game.
I do not need any external validation of my worth. I am very confident about myself. Too much so, according to some of my friends. People are scared of me in RL--which isn't my intention at all, but that's how self-confidence affects some people. Not physically scared of me, but in other ways. I think I understand why you get the "bitch" label, because I often get the male equivalent of that. You're self-confident, strong, and don't put up with a lot of b.s.
But sometimes it's just fun to play around. And that's partly why I come here. Don't you?
As for the physical attributes matter. ... Hm, well, the research on this subject is fairly straightforward. The single most important factor determining whether an interpersonal relationship will shift from casual to more intimate is whether the two individuals find each other physically attractive. Standards of physical attractiveness vary somewhat from individual to individual of course, but they are also culturally and historically specific. If I don't find you physically attractive, I won't be inclined to want to become better acquainted with you. Unless....
Unless the other factors come into play first. And those are: physical proximity (i.e., people we're close to all the time can start looking pretty good to us) and a perception of shared similarity (you like punk music, I like punk music). If those things take root first, then physical attraction is much less important.
That's the positive thing about this form of communication, supposedly, isn't it? You get to meet people and discover similarities and get a kind of proximity, without the physical appearance getting in the way. A better chance, perhaps, to get to know someone before they discover that you've got all these awful physical imperfections...oh, my!
Okay, I'll stop now. I don't know where else I want to go with this.....
Svedish_Chef
On Walkabout
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Wednesday, Tweet, and Special K.
MY GOD, sexiness galore.. I think I'll just faint.
MY GOD, sexiness galore.. I think I'll just faint.
Svedish_Chef
On Walkabout
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Fuck she's sexy
Gingersnap
Stoopid
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So it is spoken so it is written.
