Fuck "Hooters" - I'm Opening A Club Called "Bulges"

[Thumper]

SHHHHHH!

*whispering*

Shhhh SK...noone was supposed to know. I wanted to get the job strictly on my physical attributes *chuckle* not on my personality and intelligence *stifled guffaw* or my familiarity.

Oliver I wish we had some places that offered male strippers to women around here....just once in my life I want to go in after the show is over....sorta like the "DC Cab" scene when all the cabbies show up at closing time...

Who knows...even I could get lucky.....

Hey it could happen....and the Bengals might win someday too!

 

[Sparky Kronkite]

Well, Playboy Magazine......

Does stay in business - but it does not operate and never has - in the black.......

Most publications don't.

 

[Cheri]

The problem is women want MORE. Sure the bulge is a good and wonderful thing, but if the guy has zilcho in the personality dept, tips are not forthcoming. For this thing to actually fly, your guys would have to be well built (in a variety of ways: muscular or sinewy, tall or short, long hair (a la Thump) or short furry type) making sure they looked good. But more importantly they would have a confident flirtatiousness that would make women want to talk to them. Then they'd have to have the gray matter to be able to talk back!
Ask a woman what sort of waiter gets good tips, is it the distant stud who never refills your diet pepsi or the flirtatious okay looking boy who tells you that you are just going to waste away if he doesn't get you some dessert that he'll make extra special just for you? Hell yeah the second one!

 

[Sparky Kronkite]

Short Furry Type???????

Cheri likes Trolls - Cheri likes Trolls!!!!

 

[Roll-One]

wooooo hoooo, i''d like to work at this club...where do i sign up???

 

[TN_Vixen]

Prospective Employeee.
Not bad, love the leather and that hairline on the belly, mmmmmMMmmmmm *lick*


And yeah, sad as it is .. we women must have something else to cause us to give up the dough besides the perfectpelvisthrust and bobbing package. We do need to have intelligent interaction, confidence and (personally) charisma before I'll even continue a coversation much less pull out my wallet and start throwing wads(!) of cash.

But, just for the sake of theory, boys... line up and we'll check all y'all out in a very hands-on way. *big leering smile*

 

[Cheri]

Re: Short Furry Type???????

Cheri likes Trolls - Cheri likes Trolls!!!!

You're just praying I do assmunch

 

[kathy stl]

Oliver

[/B]

Someone else told me this same thing... that women don't tip strippers well. [/B][/QUOTE]

Other than your post Oliver, there is hardly a mindfull comment in this thread. And not even funney ones. Though it's really a pretty interesting thought. Any man or woman (and I am making book that half the genders in this place are lying...laugh) who thinks a "Bulges" is gonna sell needs to go to a big city newstand. Like 3 mags with naked men (sure, for gays, no problem) and four million titty mags. How obvious can it be? It is one of the fundamentally differences. Guys aren't bad cause they like lookin at tits, and we aren't wrong for not caring to look much. But study this.

I will say this about comfort levels with our sexuality. Women have no problem looking at other naked women, though we afford each other modesty, while men freak at a glimpse of a penis. Go figure.

 

[BrainyBeauty]

I volunteer for measuring and fitting the employees for their, ahem, costumes.

 

[Siren]

thumpie....did I give you permission to apply for this um er position?

 

[Latina]

It sounds hipper if you give the club a French name: Les Bulges pronounced LAY bowl-JAY. Accompanied by a logo that makes it clear that the word really is BULGE--that can become the "in joke" that only the cool people get, that the pseudo-French name is really English! Maybe abbreviate it Les BJ to give this yet ANOTHER meaning (and what was that someone said about blow his bugle?). Maybe put the G and the L on top of each other so you can read it as bulge or bugle? Fell his bulge while blowing his bugle?

Anyway, I hereby volunteer to be the one to put little tags on the "in-house talent" saying "Inspected by Number 7."

And who SAYS women aren't visually stimulated and wouldn't patronize your club? I for one LIKE to look at naked men...well, one naked man in particular, but I DO check-out and drool over the MALE talent in X-rated videos, too. A girl can daydream and still be faithful to her loved one, no? I have some VERY old Playgirl magazines from before my FIRST marriage, but they do so little for me, because in my (admittedly biased) eyes they don't like as good as what I have at home now. But I'd go to your club to have a first-hand look-see, you bet!

-- Latina

A Wink and a Smile and...
a Little Song,
a Little Dance,
and a Little Whipped Cream
sprayed down some Les Bulges pants

 

[•Quartz_Crystal•]

*reads everything*

Yep, just one thing...

Be sure to call it a 'FAMILY' establishment, so the mothers can take their little daughters out for 'lunch' and get away with it, because it is afterall a FAMILY establishment.

I'd rather eat in an ass-exposé restaurant anyways

Males and females....asses exposed.....yep, works for me.

 

[shit4brains]

To hell with bulges--

I'd drive out of my way to go to a Hooters--the girls are great, the beer is great, the food is OK, and oh yeah, the girls are great!

 

[ElaineWest]

Great idea TN_Vixen!!!

I'd love to go and get "tea bagged" like in the movie Pecker?! (not a porno by the way)

I think we need a club like that...I also would NEED to see some stripping to assure that those gorgeous cocks are infact not rolled up socks!!!

 

[Young Knave]

Great Idea.

I think you would have men volunteering to work as sex slaves in this place. Many of us are just that twisted.

 

[Artguy]

After surviving April's inquring and testing interview , and Brainy Beauty's costume fitting, I hope the stage show doesn't have to start immediately.

 

[Latina]

Artguy says:

---------------------
After surviving April's inquring and testing interview , and Brainy Beauty's costume fitting, I hope the stage show doesn't have to start immediately.
-----------------------

What's the matter artguy, sweetie, has Peter had too MUCH playing to put on a good show at Bulges? Need your bugle blown to get you back in the game, honey? I'm sending you a nice big encouarging slurp through the internet wires, hope it helps.

-- Latina

 

[Mackdaddy_74]

Are you still hiring?

"Welcome to Bulges where you can't beat our meat."
(unless you wait until closing!)

Next up ladies for your pleasure is one of our top stars,Mackdaddy!

Where do I apply,where do I get fitted,when do I start?
Will you hire me?

 

[Isabella Thorne]

Bulgie Bugle Boys do it with relish!

Now now Miss Vixen .... Thumper is one mighty fine applicant for Bulges dear ... let's hire him please ...

And we could have different rooms with different "themes" ... that would be cool too ...

ahhhh yes Only at Bulges .. where one taste says it best.
_______________________
Big tips all 'round for the
Boogie Woogie Bugle Boys of Bulges

 

[kathy stl]

"The truth is most of us are a lot more like the freaks on the Jerry Springer show than we'd ever admit."
-(paraphrase) Marilyn Manson

Marilyn Manson? what are we to make of someone who quotes her? (it?) (him?) words to live by huh? try Faulkner, Dylan, Hemmingway...or maybe for you? Mickey Mouse

I juss wanna be a bitch

 

[Thumper]

Marilyn Manson..a very literate personage..

What pray tell might you have against Marilyn Manson kathy? I have heard him(he is a male, named Brian Warner) speak several times and he is very well versed and lucid. Hell...I even heard him tell Howard Stern that he loves his mother and has a good relationship with his parents...(I admire that)

Hemingway...Faulkner...a bit stuffy and boring to me...and totally anachronistic in today's world...

Don't be so condescending...remember your parents probably thought The Beatles (or Kiss) were the four horsemen of the apocalypse...

and Miss Isabella it is so goooood to see you! Thanks for the reference.
*whispers*
I shall make it up to you in due course

[Edited by Thumper on 10-17-2000 at 06:27 PM]

 

[Artguy]

Wow Latina ! Just what Peter needed to complete the hat trick. And wait for me after the show too ! One good slurp deserves another !

 

[Young Knave]

hey Kathy

Ooooooooo, Dylan Thomas. How awe inspiring. I think Manon's statement is pretty perceptive though. Certainly he was confirming something I've always suspected to be true about people.

 

[Isabella Thorne]

Irresponsible Hate Anthem

I don't need to choose a side.
I better, better, better, better not say this.
Better, better, better, better not tell.
I hate the hater. I'd rape the raper.

~Marilyn Manson~

 

[Artguy]

Incidentally which of our literoticans would be in the audience ? Can do with some cheering . But Brainy Beauty please don't visit the club for me. Why pay for something which you can see free. And you will miss my indulgence in you I'm sure...!