Frustration

[Dazzle1]

I submitted a story for the first time in a few years.

It keeps getting rejected for puncuation and quotes in the wrong places

I have checked it several times and run it through my spell and grammer check. I am at a loss what to do.

Any suggestions?

Thanks

 

[KeithD]

I submitted a story for the first time in a few years.

It keeps getting rejected for puncuation and quotes in the wrong places

I have checked it several times and run it through my spell and grammer check. I am at a loss what to do.

Any suggestions?

Thanks

Spell check isn't going to do anything on quotes and it isn't totally reliable for spelling either. Either find someone who will review your entry for American-style usage or read stories that have passed the submissions and observe what they do with quotes.

If you post a few paragraphs of your story here, including some dialogue (the site doesn't permit the posting of more than three paragraphs), someone on the board might be able to show you some simple mistakes in presentation.

 

[Dazzle1]

Spell check isn't going to do anything on quotes and it isn't totally reliable for spelling either. Either find someone who will review your entry for American-style usage or read stories that have passed the submissions and observe what they do with quotes.

If you post a few paragraphs of your story here, including some dialogue (the site doesn't permit the posting of more than three paragraphs), someone on the board might be able to show you some simple mistakes in presentation.

Keith:

Thank you for your suggestion

an, who held the leash of the bottom slave, an Asian named Ting.

They approached the desk where a white clothed African American sat.
“I am Killian,” he announced to her. “I am expected.”
The Cajun woman nodded, “Welcome to the Club, Master Killian. I have been instructed to give you an overview of the club and the rules."
She took out a case which had different arm bands
“Black for Masters or Mistresses.” She handed him a black one.
“Red for Switches: Switches may dom each other, submissive or slaves.
Green for submissive, Submissive may be dominated by other Masters or Switches, but it is their choice."
Killian snorted, “Submissive are really slaves.”
The hostess chose to ignore his comment. "Blue is for slaves. Slaves can be dominated by anyone. No permanent injury is allowed and if the Slave's dom can stop a session."
Killian took a red and a Blue. “My dears let have some fun.”

 

[Booboobear84]

I am not an expert, but this looks like old school punctuation that I learned in the 1960s and 70s. I would pass it, but I suspect that it is not current. Most things I read in the paid for world have cleaner punctuation with fewer quotes used.

Note, you might want to capitalize Red in the last sentence. From a style point of view the colors wouldn't be capitalized, but I find it helpful since those colors have meaning in this part of your story.

 

[KeithD]

I don’t see too much wrong with the quoting, but there are some other rough elements. Something is off in the line wrapping you provide here. The capitalization is haphazard. The grammar is a bit off. It’s riddled with a lot of inconsistency of treatment. There’s one phrase that I can’t figure out the intended meaning of and it's unclear who has spoken one of the quotes.

This is how I, as an editor, would write it, if I were the author. If I were editing, I’d leave the original and insert edits, but I don’t have the time to do that. I’ll just give you how I think it would better be rendered.


They approached the desk where a white-clothed African-American sat.

“I am Killian,” he announced to her. “I am expected.”

The Cajun woman nodded. “Welcome to the club, Master Killian. I have been instructed to give you an overview of the club and its rules." She took out a case holding different-colored armbands. “Black is for masters or mistresses,” she said, handing him a black one. “Red is for switches. Switches may dominate each other, submissives, or slaves. Green is for submissives. A submissive may be dominated by their choice of masters or switches."

Killian snorted. “Submissives are really slaves.”

The hostess chose to ignore his comment. "Blue is for slaves. Slaves can be dominated by anyone. No permanent injury is allowed, and if the Slave's dom can stop a session[something’s off with this phrase. It needs further explanation]."

Killian took a red and a blue armband. “My dears, let’s have some fun.”[who says this? Killian or the hostess? Specify.]

 

[Dazzle1]

Thanks for the input.

That could explain it. This was the way I was trained. You start new quotes on dialougue breaks.
Was not a problem on my previous stories

 

[KeithD]

Thanks for the input.

That could explain it. This was the way I was trained. You start new quotes on dialougue breaks.
Was not a problem on my previous stories

I'm not sure what you are saying. There's nothing wrong with where you put quote marks. A few of the slugs weren't part of the quote sentence, though. You can't speak a nod or a snort in words, so I made those slugs separate sentences. Beyond that, I don't know what you think was being conveyed in "dialogue breaks." Each separate speaker should be put in a separate paragraph, yes. But contiguous quote segments by the same speaker need not be (the example of explaining what the armband colors stood for).

 

[Handley_Page]

You might like to ask for an editor /Beta-reader to review your work, perhaps ?

 

[Dazzle1]

I'm not sure what you are saying. There's nothing wrong with where you put quote marks. A few of the slugs weren't part of the quote sentence, though. You can't speak a nod or a snort in words, so I made those slugs separate sentences. Beyond that, I don't know what you think was being conveyed in "dialogue breaks." Each separate speaker should be put in a separate paragraph, yes. But contiguous quote segments by the same speaker need not be (the example of explaining what the armband colors stood for).

Keith:

I will put your edit ideas in. But the only reason moderator is rejecting are quotes at least according to the message, I am getting.

I am a little annoyed with the moderator after 80 stories, I think I have earned a little more consideration

Again thanks for your input

 

[NotWise]

There should be a blank line between paragraphs, and only one space following a full stop. I edited the text, marked with square brackets any new text or punctuation, and put the woman's uninterrupted explanation in a single paragraph. This, of course, could be done several ways.

They approached the desk where a white[-]clothed African American sat.[]

“I am Killian,” he announced to her. “I am expected.”[]

The Cajun woman nodded, “Welcome to the Club, Master Killian. I have been instructed to give you an overview of the club and the rules." She took out a case which had different arm bands[.] “Black for Masters or Mistresses,” she [said and ]handed him a black one. “Red for Switches[.] Switches may dom each other, submissive or slaves. Green for submissive[s.] Submissive may be dominated by other Masters or Switches, but it is their choice."[]

Killian snorted, “Submissive are really slaves.”[]

The hostess chose to ignore his comment. "Blue is for slaves. Slaves can be dominated by anyone. No permanent injury is allowed[,] and the Slave's dom can stop a session."[]

Killian took a red and a lue[ and said,] “My dears[,] let['s] have some fun.”

 

[Bramblethorn]

As well as the issues KeithD and NotWise have flagged, this has a mix of smart quotes “” and non-smart ". Pick one, stick to it.

 

[KeithD]

One further issue: this has a mix of smart quotes “” and non-smart ". Pick one, stick to it.

Ah, that's because I keyed my response in my system and had retyped some quotes from the original and not others and my system uses smart quotes (because I do setup for publications from there). I didn't even look at those. Thanks. When the author submits to Literotica, they're all going to be changed to straight quotes anyway.

 

[NotWise]

Ah, that's because I keyed my response in my system and had retyped some quotes from the original and not others and my system uses smart quotes (because I do setup for publications from there). I didn't even look at those. Thanks. When the author submits to Literotica, they're all going to be changed to straight quotes anyway.

The text the OP provided contains a mixture of regular quotes and smart quotes, so it isn't something you or I added.

 

[KeithD]

The text the OP provided contains a mixture of regular quotes and smart quotes, so it isn't something you or I added.

Ah, thanks. As far as submissions to Literotica, it's not something an author has to worry about. The Literotica process will change them all to straight quotes.

 

[NotWise]

Ah, thanks. As far as submissions to Literotica, it's not something an author has to worry about. The Literotica process will change them all to straight quotes.

Off topic, but do you know why that is?

 

[jaF0]

But the only reason moderator is rejecting are quotes at least according to the message, I am getting.

I am a little annoyed with the moderator after 80 stories, I think I have earned a little more consideration

Those two sentences are 'off' too. Are you typing on a mobile gadget or a computer? Is English your first language? Those two things can cause issues of understanding.

I would type those two sentences as follows:

But the only reason given by the Moderator for rejection is quotes, at least according to the message I am getting.

I am a little annoyed with the Moderator. After 80 stories, I think I have earned a little more consideration.



And no, past submissions don't get you any leeway or 'consideration'. Laurel reads a great many story submissions every day and doesn't have time to play games like that. She may not even notice the writer's ID when reviewing a new story.

 

[lovecraft68]

Keith:

I will put your edit ideas in. But the only reason moderator is rejecting are quotes at least according to the message, I am getting.

I am a little annoyed with the moderator after 80 stories, I think I have earned a little more consideration

Again thanks for your input

The "moderator" is a joke. Submit a different story in the same manner in a week it will fly through like your other stories did.

Every once in awhile they try and act like they pay attention and "oh, look, we have rules' and then all the mindless lemmings that comprise this forum say "they have rules they have rules they have rules'

Well past pathetic on all accounts.

 

[KeithD]

Off topic, but do you know why that is?

Probably just an old system. Straight quotes were all a typewriter could do. Publishers of fiction changed them to smart (then called curly) quotes though.

 

[NotWise]

The "moderator" is a joke. Submit a different story in the same manner in a week it will fly through like your other stories did.

Every once in awhile they try and act like they pay attention and "oh, look, we have rules' and then all the mindless lemmings that comprise this forum say "they have rules they have rules they have rules'

Well past pathetic on all accounts.

You sound more frustrated than the OP.

He has posted something like 82 stories, but his last story was several years ago. Things change, or so I'm told.

 

[Bramblethorn]

Ah, thanks. As far as submissions to Literotica, it's not something an author has to worry about. The Literotica process will change them all to straight quotes.

Ah right, I'd forgotten it did that. In that case, not a priority.