Frustrated x10.

[KissmeKassie]

So I feel a little sexually uncultivated, as I have never had an orgasm. It's not from lack of trying, on my and other's accounts. And to make matters a tad more complicated I still haven't purchased any useful toys.

Pretty much what I want "how to" advice on, is how to give myself an orgasm, by myself, without any sex toys.

Help is MUCH needed

 

[leelee82]

I too have a hard time with this. I can do it, but only by myself or if i'm on top. If you have a removable shower head, try that. I prefer lying down in a half filled bath.

 

[KissmeKassie]

Mmm, I'll have to try filling up the bath. As silly as this sounds I just usually try standing, while showering.

 

[leelee82]

definately try the bath, I can't do it standing. I need total concentration. Inserting something at the same time may help too!

 

[KissmeKassie]

It is now on the to-do-list tomorrow Thank you for the suggestion!

 

[leelee82]

enjoy *wink* *wink*

 

[Christopher2012]

Well, welcome both of you! Kassie, I hope you get helpful tips and finally reach orgasm.

And leelee, I hope you get that eye twitch fixed.

 

[nfrrdscnnr1]

at the risk

At the risk of being tagged with all those adjectives ladies apply to us, here is a web site that seems to be thorough. Hope it helps. It's in the mind.

 

[CWatson]

You, umm. You didn't post the site.

To the OP: Well, I have rather the wrong number of testicles (namely: any) to have first-hand experience on this, but my understanding is that part of the process is learning to relax and let it take you away. You need privacy, quiet and a lack of self-consciousness.

As to actually having one... I assume you masturbate. If not, that'd be a good place to start. Experiment. Try out different techniques and figure out which ones feel really good. Then just keep doing those to yourself over and over and see what happens.

Best of luck!

 

[nfrrdscnnr1]

at the risk

At the risk of being tagged with all those adjectives ladies apply to us, here is a web site that seems to be thorough. Hope it helps.
http://www.scarleteen.com/article/sexuality/sexual_response_orgasm_a_users_guide
It's in the mind.

 

[MBgirl]

I had my first orgasm in January and I'm 22, so I know where you are coming from.

In retrospect, I always masturbated wrong. I focused more on trying to make a G-spot orgasm happen, rather than a clit orgasm. I would also only try for about 5 - 10 minutes and give up after that. Now when I masturbate it takes about 15 - 20 minutes, although it's less if I'm watching porn at the same time.

Buy a good vibe. That is still the only way I get off. Actually, buy several different vibes... ones of different textures and sizes.

Message me if you want, perhaps I can give you more insight if I know what you are/aren't already trying.

 

[satindesire]

Here's a general guide and some info about your vulva and the female orgasm.

The female vulva is comprised of several things. The mons pubis, or the pubic ridge, which is where your pubic hair starts. Your Labia Majora, or outer labia, which are the fleshy pads of tissue which encompass the majority of your genitals. In between the Labia Majora, there is the Clitoris. The Clitoris is at the top of the inner slit between the Labia Majora and is the main source of sexual pleasure for the female. It is the female equivalent of a penis and most women need direct stimulation to their clitoris for 5-45 minutes or more before they can reach orgasm. Just below the clitoris are your Labia Minora, or inner labia, which cover and enclose the urethra, or pee hole, and vagina.

Many women give up after just a few minutes of stimulating their clitoris in frustration, not knowing how long it can take them to reach orgasm. Some women need long periods of direct stimulation to the clitoris, so be patient. Also, many women do not know that their clitoris was their primary sexual organ, since sexual education in schools and mainstream pornography completely ignore the importance of the clitoris. Mainstream porn shows vigorous in-and-out thrusting of the penis in the vagina, leading many sexually inexperienced men and women to believe that the vagina is the source of sexual pleasure and orgasms for most women, when it is, in fact, not.

Many women employ the use of a small clitoral vibrator specifically for the purpose of stimulating their clitoris during intercourse and/or masturbation in order to reach orgasm. I suggest being patient, familiarizing yourself with your genitals, and purchasing a small clitoral vibrator from a reputable sex toy store (either local or online is fine). Don't be afraid to ask questions here, we're all here to help you on your journey towards full womanhood.

Good luck and God Bless.

 

[KissmeKassie]

Wow, thank you! That is all very good knowledge, especially Satindesire spelling it out for me :b

MBgirl I'm soo glad that you are in my boat, or, were at least. I watched some House episode where the girl couldn't come or something or other and I was at my wits end thinking something was /wrong/ hah.

And also thank you for the offsite *click*

 

[ButtAnalMan]

So I feel a little sexually uncultivated, as I have never had an orgasm. It's not from lack of trying, on my and other's accounts. And to make matters a tad more complicated I still haven't purchased any useful toys.

Pretty much what I want "how to" advice on, is how to give myself an orgasm, by myself, without any sex toys.

Help is MUCH needed

Although all recommendations below are good, all of them ignored the rule of mental arousal. you need to be mentally aroused to achieve an orgasms not only physically. Mentally driven orgasms are faster and harder than the physically induced ones.

For mental arousal, you may see porn, chat with a partner or see life webcam or even imagine an erotic fantasy. if need help, let me know.

 

[pisces_girl]

It helps to be good and wet. Get everything sensitive and take it from there. Maybe try rubbing or touching different parts at different speeds.

 

[Noira]

Psst: if you tie a cloth over the head of a shower, using elastic bands or ponytail holders, you can make a pretty strong stream of water. This can be used to directly stimulate your clit for as long as you have hot water without any effort on your part besides getting into a comfortable position. I assure you this is as good if not better than any vibrator for getting off, as you can then lie down in the tub and have both hands free for everything else... nipples, penitration, pulling your own hair, whatever gets you feeling aroused.

And relax! Enjoy the getting there, and don't pressure yourself to have to orgasm. The stress can make it nigh impossible. You have to be in the mental state of mind too.

You don't need sex toys. If you don't have the stamina to stimulate your clit for a half hour hop in the shower and let the water do it for you!

 

[sunandshadow]

I don't really understand the emphasis on "without sex toys". Vibrators are awesome, every woman should try one at least once. And they are cheap, how hard can it be to get something that's under $20 including batteries? There are always a few hours a week when you are the only one home or the only one awake. If you need to hide it, buy a cheap toolbox which has a loop for a lock, and lock it in there when not in use. If you need it to show up in a normal-looking box, order it from amazon, it's the same box as their books and movies. If you need it to not be on your credit card statement, buy a prepaid card at wallmart or buy one in person with cash.

 

[tomwantstosee]

Don´t know if you know the movie "Shortbus"- it´s about a sexual therapist who doesn´t have orgasms. It´s about a lot more, but at the end she has one. Maybe an idea to watch...

 

[Noira]

I don't really understand the emphasis on "without sex toys". Vibrators are awesome, every woman should try one at least once. And they are cheap, how hard can it be to get something that's under $20 including batteries? There are always a few hours a week when you are the only one home or the only one awake. If you need to hide it, buy a cheap toolbox which has a loop for a lock, and lock it in there when not in use. If you need it to show up in a normal-looking box, order it from amazon, it's the same box as their books and movies. If you need it to not be on your credit card statement, buy a prepaid card at wallmart or buy one in person with cash.

Well, for one thing, cheap equals bad quality. Will fall apart or be noisy or both, and quite possibly made out of dubious materials. These are things I would not suggest to any woman. Of course they're awesome. I would say it's better to spend 80 bucks on one that's quiet, won't fall apart, and rechargeable to really get your money out of it. Or 50 bucks on one that's insanely powerful and plugs into the wall. Etc.

But fingers are free and don't need batteries. That's why the emphasis on 'without sex toys'. Of course vibrators are awesome but learning to do it yourself first will make them even better. While you can generally get a vibrator easily enough, not everyone's in a situation where they can get one, for whatever reason, be it financial or otherwise. There's nothing wrong with a good stock of non-battery-operated suggestions for those times. Plus they can add spice to your love-life.

If it's not financial, I suggest LELO's line of vibrators. Awesome quality and everything someone looking for a first vibrator could want in a vibrator.

 

[amyforfun]

So what happened?

 

[IzzyAndy]

I also agree with the time thing - I used to basically give up after about a minute! Takes me about 15 mins, generally. (Weirdly, I find going on to have more is a thousand times quicker with the electric toothbrush than with fingers, even though the first one takes the same amount of time for both :S)

But yeah. Persistence paid off for me, in the end; persistence and paying attention to what makes you quiver. XD

 

[GotMeStunned]

I would suggest buying some toys to help you out. My girlfriend uses vibrators on her clit whilst we have sex and we have also tried using a vibrating cock ring. According to her and her reactions it is fantastic.

If you are concerned or shy about buying toys there are sites which you can order toys from and not have to worry about anyone raising an eyebrow, as the packaging is discreet and does not say anything on it. The payments on your card are also discreet with it saying "Payment to - *randomletters*.com"

If you want I can recommend a site I have used personally.

 

[Bicuriousdancer]

I'm having the same problem. Although I'm 25 and I've never had an orgasm. I've gotten close, I've used a vibrator but never finished with it. I also have a hard time getting an orgasm with a guy... I can't tell if it's him or me...

 

[RedguyTx]

So I feel a little sexually uncultivated, as I have never had an orgasm. It's not from lack of trying, on my and other's accounts. And to make matters a tad more complicated I still haven't purchased any useful toys.

Pretty much what I want "how to" advice on, is how to give myself an orgasm, by myself, without any sex toys.

Help is MUCH needed

It's not unusual for a younger woman to have trouble with this. I remember listening to Love Lines and it came up regularly.
Patience with yourself and a patient lover are your main answers.