Frustrated by

[Spirit_hope]

So, I'm gonna vent for a moment...

My boyfriend and I are very, very much in love, very, very much committed to each other, and searching for a plaything.

I'm bi, and made it clear from the outset that I couldn't imagine going to rest of my life without female lovers. He certainly had no objections. *lol* But we seem to be one in a bazillion couples out there looking for a third, and we don't seem to be what the girls who are looking for adventure are looking for.

We're both sweet, intelligent, generous people who would offer the world to anybody who deserved it, but we're also willing to "just play" with somebody who catches our attention and wants a "strings-free" encounter.

Is it the fact that neither of us is model material? or that he's over 30? Is it that we're interested in finding a sub, not in subbing to somebody else?

I can't figure it out. And I'm tired of being propositioned by women wanting me to "do" their "man" or to do her with her man watching. Selfish, yes, but I have a man, and I don't need somebody else's... (not to mention that I don't intend on another man getting pleasure from my body, in anyway... I may not want to sub to the plaything, but my body and heart definitely belongs to my sweetie)

Is there no sweet, adventurous, well-adjusted woman out there who can appreciate psychological domination without mind-games, pain or intercourse w/ my guy? The sort of domination that has your panties dripping and your clit aching just remembering it the next day...?

*sigh* I didn't believe it when my guy friends told me over the years that nice guys *don't* get the girls. But, they were right.

</vent> ;-)

--Spirit

 

[DarlingBri]

Hi, Spirit...

I don't lead a BDSM lifestyle, so I'm not the best person to answer your question. I just didn't want you to feel ignored, or that the natives were not friendly

I don't know what your previous attempts to find a third or other ads were like, but if they were like the one you posted here in Lit Personals, that might be part of the problem. It sounded pretty hostile to me

Anyway, you might want to read Cymbidia's mini-tract on how to go about bringing a third party into your bedroom:

http://www.literotica.com/forum/showthread.php?threadid=27376

The lady knows of what she speaks.

[Edited by DarlingBri on 03-31-2001 at 09:53 PM]

 

[DarlingBri]

I swear I will stop double posting... <sigh> Ignore this.

 

[cymbidia]

Hi Spirit,

Cool name. May i try to be of some help?

Let's look at your issues:
1. You're bi, in love with him, and you both want a third (another woman).
2. This woman could be a one-time playmate or could become more, but she's got to be sub to you both.
3. You can't find her and are getting sorta discouraged about the attempt.
Is that about right?

First of all, where are you looking and, most importantly, do you have a good ad? When trying to find a third, the ad is everything. In order to maximize the responses you get, it has to include info about you personally as well as what you're offering and who you're looking for. Additionally, it can't be too terribly wordy, you know?

If you're being propositioned by the wrong kinds of people, then your ad is worded incorrectly for what you want to achieve. Simple as that.

And wondering about you guys not being model material and his being over 30 is just a waste of time, babes. None of us look like we did when we were 18 (except you 19 year olds out there!) and almost no one is actually model material. We all have pimples on our butts that are only visible when everything is off, you know? And over 30? Still a baby. I'm sure you already know that BDSM people are generally *very* accepting of others, no matter thier 'imperfections'.

It's the quality of the play that counts, right? The intensity. The heat. The degree of kinkiness uncovered. Your bodies need to have to have a certain amount of attraction to and for each other, yes. Beyond that, however, and between and within, is the realm of the mind. It is there, i think, that you want to go with your third.

~blowing a kiss to DarlingBri for the nudge~


[Edited by cymbidia on 04-05-2001 at 11:23 PM]

 

[DarlingBri]

Damn, Cym...

I'm converting to a full-scale BDSM lifestyle *now* and responding to that ad *pronto*.

(Jesus, you could make an IKEA catalogue sound eroticly intense!)

<wink>

[Edited by DarlingBri on 04-01-2001 at 12:18 AM]

 

[cymbidia]

Re: Damn, Cym...

I'm converting to a full-scale BDSM lifestyle *now* and responding to that ad *pronto*.

(Jesus, you could make an IKEA catalogue sound eroticly intense!)

<wink>

[Edited by DarlingBri on 04-01-2001 at 12:18 AM]

Ummm, honeycakes? You're not a msub so you don't qualify. Sorry. Besides, we already found him.

~wink back~