I wrote about doing this interview a while back and this morning I got a phone call from my boyfriend's mother telling me that I was on the very front of this morning's newspaper. I immediately ran out to get a paper and I wanted to share the contents of the article.
Child sex abuse survivor fights for control [ link here ]
Holly first found comfort in the words she wrote, in adolescent poetry about a stolen childhood.
When she finally dared to utter them, she found power.
She was 15 when she revealed to a boyfriend a secret she had told no one before, and one only a few people know today.
Holly, who asked that her last name not be used, is a survivor of childhood sexual abuse.
“To speak the words out loud, it’s like thunder hitting,” Holly said of that pivotal moment five years ago when she first gave voice to her pain. “It’s very powerful. The more you keep talking about it, the more control you take back over your life.”
Sitting in a quiet room at the Women’s Resource Center in Scranton, the 20-year-old city resident speaks softly, at times haltingly, about her long, winding journey from child victim to adult survivor.
And that’s what it is, she said — surviving.
“You never get over it,” she said. “You work with it. You make yourself a better person because of it. You stop letting it control you ... but it’s always with you. It’s always a part of you, and everybody who has ever gone through this has to decide if it’s going to make you or break you.”
She was 6 years old, living with her mother after her parents split, when the abuse began. It continued for five years by five different men — some her mom’s boyfriends, some just acquaintances.
There were countless incidents of inappropriate touching and having to be unclothed in front of the men. When she was 9 or 10, she was raped. Holly said her mother was aware of the abuse but did not stop it. She never told anyone, and still feels the guilt, as her abusers were not prosecuted. She only wanted to forget.
“I basically just felt like a body. You stop thinking about it after a while,” she said. “You go numb. You feel disgusting. You feel like there’s something wrong with you, especially if there is a parent who knows about it.”
The abuse ended when Holly’s father gained custody of her at age 11. Then the depression and nightmares kicked in. Holly couldn’t make or keep friends. She skipped school, finally getting expelled for chronic absenteeism.
She tried counseling, but it wasn’t until she sought help at the Women’s Resource Center about a year ago that she truly started to make sense of what had happened and learned ways to deal with her past.
Through it all, she kept writing. The poetry that first provided a release for her anger and confusion has given way to more sophisticated prose.
“For the most part I have recovered from a lot of it by writing,” Holly said. “That is one of the best things I’ve ever done for myself.”
She earned her GED in September and plans to attend Lackawanna College next year, to become a writer.
Holly still can’t watch a movie with a rape or assault scene, and certain smells — Marlboro Red cigarette smoke is one — can bring a rush of unpleasant memories. She regrets never having a real childhood.
“I grew up very fast,” she said. “Even now, at 20, I feel like 50. I feel more mature than I should be. I’m at the beginning of adulthood, but I feel like I have been here for years.”
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There was also a poem that was published right beside it - 'Taking Walks with Angela' and three others that are published online at this link here.
Child sex abuse survivor fights for control [ link here ]
Holly first found comfort in the words she wrote, in adolescent poetry about a stolen childhood.
When she finally dared to utter them, she found power.
She was 15 when she revealed to a boyfriend a secret she had told no one before, and one only a few people know today.
Holly, who asked that her last name not be used, is a survivor of childhood sexual abuse.
“To speak the words out loud, it’s like thunder hitting,” Holly said of that pivotal moment five years ago when she first gave voice to her pain. “It’s very powerful. The more you keep talking about it, the more control you take back over your life.”
Sitting in a quiet room at the Women’s Resource Center in Scranton, the 20-year-old city resident speaks softly, at times haltingly, about her long, winding journey from child victim to adult survivor.
And that’s what it is, she said — surviving.
“You never get over it,” she said. “You work with it. You make yourself a better person because of it. You stop letting it control you ... but it’s always with you. It’s always a part of you, and everybody who has ever gone through this has to decide if it’s going to make you or break you.”
She was 6 years old, living with her mother after her parents split, when the abuse began. It continued for five years by five different men — some her mom’s boyfriends, some just acquaintances.
There were countless incidents of inappropriate touching and having to be unclothed in front of the men. When she was 9 or 10, she was raped. Holly said her mother was aware of the abuse but did not stop it. She never told anyone, and still feels the guilt, as her abusers were not prosecuted. She only wanted to forget.
“I basically just felt like a body. You stop thinking about it after a while,” she said. “You go numb. You feel disgusting. You feel like there’s something wrong with you, especially if there is a parent who knows about it.”
The abuse ended when Holly’s father gained custody of her at age 11. Then the depression and nightmares kicked in. Holly couldn’t make or keep friends. She skipped school, finally getting expelled for chronic absenteeism.
She tried counseling, but it wasn’t until she sought help at the Women’s Resource Center about a year ago that she truly started to make sense of what had happened and learned ways to deal with her past.
Through it all, she kept writing. The poetry that first provided a release for her anger and confusion has given way to more sophisticated prose.
“For the most part I have recovered from a lot of it by writing,” Holly said. “That is one of the best things I’ve ever done for myself.”
She earned her GED in September and plans to attend Lackawanna College next year, to become a writer.
Holly still can’t watch a movie with a rape or assault scene, and certain smells — Marlboro Red cigarette smoke is one — can bring a rush of unpleasant memories. She regrets never having a real childhood.
“I grew up very fast,” she said. “Even now, at 20, I feel like 50. I feel more mature than I should be. I’m at the beginning of adulthood, but I feel like I have been here for years.”
--------------------------------
There was also a poem that was published right beside it - 'Taking Walks with Angela' and three others that are published online at this link here.
