From sub to switch

[amantes_sunt_amentes]

For background, I've always typically taken a sub role for the past 10+ years, but I've met a Dom who is open to the idea of me taking top and him being bottom. While I generally enjoy the freedom (in a sense) being a sub gives me, it also turns me on to think about being the top. He already has a strap-on, so I'm pretty certain he's been a bottom in the past.

My real question is, how do you regulate the emotional responses when you're used to a sub role and moving into a Domme role? I suppose it may be considered a service bottom role when he's asking for it, but I don't feel totally certain of what to expect, emotionally specifically.

Any thoughts or experiences to share?

 

[amofiga]

Funny you should ask. I've almost always been a top and only once allowed a sub to top me and ONLY because I trusted her to stay in control. In her words (actually been said by many) it takes a good sub to be a good top and vice versa.

The advantage as you say of being a bottom is that you give up control and just go for the ride. As a top, you have to "drive the bus" which means you have to know where you're going, how you're going to get there, not get lost, and not fall asleep at the wheel. There's responsibility for being a top to make sure you can push the sub as far as he/she can want, but not cause permanent damage or so much emotional or physical discomfort that you ruin the relationship or cause mistrust forever. Make sure you talk before hand about what your sub expects and is willing to do and have a safe word to slow down or stop, be aware of their situation, and honor their limits. Otherwise, have a good time and good luck.

You may also want to ask on the BDSM section of the bulletin to get other opinions.