From Perspective

[Dar~]

I was just reading the lesbian scene/man thread, and got to thinking, I really suck at tellinghtings from the feminine stance, even though I am a female. Is this common? I actually think more like a man when it comes to sex. I sometimes have no patience for forplay and all the tochy feely stuff. Anyone else like this?

 

[yui]

Nope. I'm female and I usually write from the first person female perspective. I like the little touches and breath catching moments. When I write from the male perspective, I think personally, I sound like a woman writing what she thinks a man would think.

Luck,

Yui

 

[BlackShanglan]

It's so difficult writing from a human perspective. I'm really glad that I switched to equine for my last.

Seriously? I think that in sex scenes, it is difficult writing as the opposite gender. However, I think that there are ways to deal with this. First is to work on the non-sex scenes, making sure that each character is primarily a real and authentic person. (Not saying that I have achieved that, only that I recognize it as a goal.) Once that's in place, the reader tends to be a lot more forgiving. Then work on the sex scene from the emotional/personal perspective. If the character's desires make sense in connection with who s/he is emotionally and intellectually, then they make sense. Gender really doesn't touch much but the mechanics, and a few fly-bys by an editor of that gender should clear up any issues there.

Shanglan

 

[carsonshepherd]

When I try to write from the female perspective, I need constant guidance (thank you to those who have given it.) Which is amusing, because I am often called "princess" and "such a girl".

 

[ElizabethWest]

When I try to write from the female perspective, I need constant guidance (thank you to those who have given it.) Which is amusing, because I am often called "princess" and "such a girl".

You forgot drama queen. I think I already called you that once today.

 

[carsonshepherd]

You forgot drama queen. I think I already called you that once today.

*heartbroken wailing and sobbing*

[threadjack over/]

 

[ElizabethWest]

*heartbroken wailing and sobbing*

*snort*

 

[cantdog]

I don't see a lot of utility to writing from the other sex's perspective.

Call me silly, but what ever for?

I do write in a way which I hope is largely good for a female reader, hitting hardest the parts which I believe a female reader will enjoy the most. I have been misidentified as a woman in my e-mail feedback, and I found it to be a big affirming moment, validating my guesses about them.

Nearly all my writing is third person, omnicient. Paragraph by paragraph I get to sit behind the eyes of any character I want to. I feel I need to know about how everyone approaches sex, how the rhythm of the arousal and climax runs for them, how they cope emotionally. But I never write as if I were a woman. Who am I trying to jive?


cantdog

 

[elsol]

Who am I trying to jive?

I remember the moment I realized I would NEVER write sex from the female POV...

I was reading a Harlequin Temptation (Little red books that are porn with plot) and I hit a 'fantasy' scene.

I had to put the book down because I was blushing and sweating... this is AFTER I started to write my own porn.

The problem boils down to knowledge... everything I KNOW about women might only be what I THINK about women.

Too easy to kick someone out of a story with a pussy and a 'BULLSHIT!' card.

Sincerely,
ElSol

 

[Dar~]

I guess my point was misses, I am female and I write better from the male perspective. This is based on many opinions other than my own . .

 

[Colleen Thomas]

I guess my point was misses, I am female and I write better from the male perspective. This is based on many opinions other than my own . .

You write from where you are comfortable. Not every woman enjoys foreplay. Not every woman enjoys build up, back story or romance. Some women just want to get to the down & dirty ASAP.

Judgeing a writer's gender is sometimes easy, but in truth, you are making assumptions whenever you do so. Mats thought Neon was a girl, because of an exceptionally well written lesbian piece. I've read nearly all of Coture's works and can't say on gender.

Lou Lou can write well from a male perspective. Cd writes well from the femme. As long as you are comfortable with it, you are in the majority, since most of us don't write from an uncomfortable perspective

I never write erotica from a male perspective. Idon't know how guys think and if I can't think for a character, I can't write the character in a way I find convincing.

 

[rgraham666]

I was just reading the lesbian scene/man thread, and got to thinking, I really suck at tellinghtings from the feminine stance, even though I am a female. Is this common? I actually think more like a man when it comes to sex. I sometimes have no patience for forplay and all the tochy feely stuff. Anyone else like this?

I'm a man and I'm the exact opposite. If I need to get off that quickly I'll masturbate. That's generally even faster than a quickie and about as satisfying.

I like the foreplay and touch feely stuff. Adds a lot of flavour and pleasure to the whole act.

I don't seem to have trouble with either perspective. My stories are pretty much split straight down the middle for the perspectives they're told from.

Make of that what you will.

 

[CharleyH]

You write from where you are comfortable. Not every woman enjoys foreplay. Not every woman enjoys build up, back story or romance. Some women just want to get to the down & dirty ASAP.

Agreed, and for emphasis, I think I said it on another thread somehere, that we seem to write from the perspective of our personalities whether in/from real or fantasy, and thank god we are all so different. I think erotica/porn reflects, if not concentrating on story, and only thinking sex, much of what the real world is mixed with, and when it comes to women, paticularly lesbians in this instance, some are soft even when butch, some are aggressive, even when femme, some are simply assertive, others are raw, some hate oral, some love to be fucked, others can't stand it and prefer anal, some are masculine, some are slutty, or timid etc. So, my point is that if by writing from a man's perspective as a woman, you mean from a butch or more masculine perspective, well that is just part of the many faces of sex, particularly lesbian sex, and as long as you are comfortable with it as Colly says, then others will be too.

 

[dr_mabeuse]

My fuck stories are told from a male point of view. My erotica is told from the female perspective.

I'm a male, so I'm really more interested in the way women experience sex. I think women's sexual feelings are richer and more complicated than men's. You can sum up a man's sexual attitudes pretty simply: I want it, I got it, it was great. Women are much more ambiguous about their sexual feelings: they have to be seduced and convinced; they have to be coaxed.

Woman also have this good-girl/whore dichotomy they have to negotiate. They want to express their sexuality, but they're also afraid of coming off looking like a slut, so they usually only show their really sexual side to men they love and trust.

Men just don't care about that stuff. They'll pretty much stick their dicks in anything. When's the last time you heard about a man worrying about his reputation? Or wondering whether he'd be able to face himself in the morning?

--Zoot

 

[rgraham666]

You have now.

In spite of my long period of chastity, I'm not so anxious to get laid that I'll stick my dick in anything.

I would rather have some emotional commitment there than just pure list.

 

[Guest]

They'll pretty much stick their dicks in anything.

--Zoot

Love that!


Colly, thanks for saying I write from the male persepctive well. I usually write my erotica from a woman's POV, but my longer, more complicated stories, just cry out for male POV at times. I enjoy writing from both, but when it comes to writing sex, I do enjoy writing from the female POV more. But, I can do the male. I know what makes men tick.

As the Doc said, women are more complicated, when it comes to sex, and I do believe men enjoy reading how it is for the woman, and women usually like to read how it is for them, too. So, female POV usually has a much wider appeal.

It's just what I know, too. Write what you know, and all that.

Dar, as others have said, we are all different; we all think about sex in different ways. If I had to pick, I'd say I like rough, physical fucking the best, but I also like to be made love to from time to time. I am very in tune with the male side of my brain, but I do think about sex in more complex ways than men do. There's nothing to say you can't write about a female character who just likes to fuck, without all the romantic crap that is sometimes asscoiated with it. You won't find much romance in any of my stories, but there's plenty of sexual love.

Build up comes in many forms, not just foreplay (I don't see foreplay as build up, actually - it's all part of sex - there are MANY more aspects to good sex than merely penetration). The build up can be as erotic as the actual sex. Quite often, much more so. How did they meet? Why are they together now? Why do they want to fuck? How did this situation come about?

Lou