From Editor, Minimize Use of "And"

[AsylumSeeker]

You authors may at some time in the future be requesting the free assistance of volunteer editors. Allow me to help you in advance.

Please minimize the use of "and" in your stories. This is distracting, interrupting the natural flow. I will submit a few examples, you be the judge.

"He touched me, and then I touched him" vs. "After he touched me, I touched him"

"I slapped his hand and he touched mine" vs. "After slappinig his hand his next touched mine..."

Use more active speech.

The examples really do no justice to the problem, but writers please be more aware. This is all I am saying.

 

[Zeb_Carter]

And I never use 'and' except at the beginning of a sentence like it should be or in a sql statement when I want the query to be additive.

 

[3113]

Please minimize the use of "and" in your stories.

Hmmm. Nope. Think I'll keep on using it. Mainly because I question your argument that it interrupts the flow. Consider the following examples:

Tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow
Creeps by at its petty pace from day to day....

The "ands" there are essential if we're to feel the "tomorrows" stretching out, slowing down to a repetitive, interminable future.

Or how about this one:

How do I love thee? Let me count the ways.
I love thee to the depth and breadth and height
My soul can reach, when feeling out of sight
For the ends of Being and ideal Grace.

Or this one:

In the late summer of that year we lived in a house in a village that looked across the river and the plain to the mountains. In the bed of the river there were pebbles and boulders, dry and white in the sun, and the water was clear and swiftly moving and blue in the channels.

Hemmingway doesn't usually use "ands"--and these do a great deal to reflect the flow of the river as compared to the shorter sentences he'll later use when the river dries up.

Or how about this:

There was music from my neighbor’s house through the summer nights. In his blue gardens men and girls came and went like moths among the whisperings and the champagne and the stars.

The "ands" in this passage connect the ephemeral comings and goings of men/women with the ephemeral whispers (gossip), champagne (riches/partying) and stars (hopes, dreams, romance). Wonderful connection there!

Where would these amazing pieces of literature be without those "ands"? Those "ands" are the thread that unites the words, images, feelings into a literary quilt. So. No. I don't think I'll get rid of my 'ands" anytime soon. Nor take your advice, as the evidence above shows that the "natural flow" exists and is even enhanced by that word, not, as you argue, interrupted.

 

[Boxlicker101]

You authors may at some time in the future be requesting the free assistance of volunteer editors. Allow me to help you in advance.

Please minimize the use of "and" in your stories. This is distracting, interrupting the natural flow. I will submit a few examples, you be the judge.

"He touched me, and then I touched him" vs. "After he touched me, I touched him"

"I slapped his hand and he touched mine" vs. "After slappinig his hand his next touched mine..."

Use more active speech.

The examples really do no justice to the problem, but writers please be more aware. This is all I am saying.

For Pete's sake, what is this crap? This is a porno site.

She reached inside my fly to fondle my cock and I responded by cupping her luscious breast in my hand, delighting in the lack of a bra.

She slapped my hand, but made amends by grinning lewdly and pressing it against her bare thigh.

 

[Zeb_Carter]

And this wouldn't work without the ands

Select pay, hrs, empno, pay * hr
from empfile
where empno start with 1
and pay > 0
and hr > 0


Without those too and's in there you would get all kinds of garbage.

 

[3113]

Also, where would cock and balls be without the "and"?

 

[Zeb_Carter]

Also, where would cock and balls be without the "and"?

Cock, balls.

Cock or balls.

Nope just doesn't work and yet someone had the never to say it would???

 

[Boxlicker101]

Also, where would cock and balls be without the "and"?

Or, for that matter, tits and ass?

 

[DeeZire]

Thank you Asylum Seeker, for enlightening us and also pissing everyone off at the same time. We (or at least I) know your heart's in the right place, and I would have to agree with your assessment of the annoying "and". I think contemporary prose utilizes the "and" to a lesser degree than in the past, and I think we're better off because of it.

Peace and out.

 

[Boxlicker101]

Thank you Asylum Seeker, for enlightening us and also pissing everyone off at the same time. We (or at least I) know your heart's in the right place, and I would have to agree with your assessment of the annoying "and". I think contemporary prose utilizes the "and" to a lesser degree than in the past, and I think we're better off because of it.

Peace and out.

I don't think anybody is actually pissed off. I thought the sample sentences were rather inane, so I improved them. I agree the use of "and" should be limited, but this is covered, or should be, in elementary English composition. I don't mean Composition101; I mean in elementary school English Comp.

At the same time, I rather like the sultry first line in "The Girl from Ipanema."

Tall and tan and young and lovely,

 

[jomar]

"I slapped his hand and he touched mine" vs. "After slappinig his hand his next touched mine..."

Hi AS...is a next kind of like a wiener?

 

[TE999]

However well intentioned this advice might be, it's this sort of nit-picky doodah that convinced me to shun editors. I seem to be able to reasonably convey my story plots to my readers without additional assistance. I have my M$Worst grammar/spell check program set on 'attack' and that covers most of it.

 

[_Lynn_]

However well intentioned this advice might be, it's this sort of nit-picky doodah that convinced me to shun editors. I seem to be able to reasonably convey my story plots to my readers without additional assistance. I have my M$Worst grammar/spell check program set on 'attack' and that covers most of it.

We don't all give 'nit-picky doodah'.

 

[AsylumSeeker]

We don't all give 'nit-picky doodah'.

This is all fine. Won't be editing for any of you... not that I recall any of you requiring editorial services. Okay fine, run me out of town, was just trying to be proactive.

My intent was good.

Know better than to venture into these shark-infested waters again.

ML, please, you call this VILE place HOME????

Screw ya'll, was just trying to help.

Ya'll go FUCK YOURSELVES!

 

[jomar]

I say cut the guy some slack. I think he edits a lot of crap and after awhile it gets the best of him and he posts here and then has a drink or two. And who wouldn't.

 

[AsylumSeeker]

I say cut the guy some slack. I think he edits a lot of crap and after awhile it gets the best of him and he posts here and then has a drink or two. And who wouldn't.

None of you get "it". I appreciate the thought, jomar. It is just that I am on the editing end of the sword and was thinking, obviously falsely, that I could help mitigate problems and streamline edits by "nipping problems in the bud" so to speak.

Apparently not.

I am just trying to help is all. And have been humiliated many times over for my good intention. So I say FUCK TO YOU ALL!

 

[_Lynn_]

I say cut the guy some slack. I think he edits a lot of crap and after awhile it gets the best of him and he posts here and then has a drink or two. And who wouldn't.

I agree.

My comment was teasing TE, not AS.

 

[scouries]

My old pal the funny man AsylumSeeker?

I've been looking for you my good man. Her Highness has asked me to help in improving the Special Contests here at LITEROTICA and one of the suggestions is to encourage the great best selling authors of yesteryear to participate in the next contest - the NUDE DAY 2010 CONTEST.

http://prettynudes.eu/a-wet-nude-babes-radiant-nude.jpg

On behalf of the palace and the millions of readers that make up the LITEROTICA FAMILY I'd like to invite you, AsylumSeeker, to enter a story in the contest (just one mind you).

Thank you,

james r scouries esq.

 

[jomar]

None of you get "it". I appreciate the thought, jomar. It is just that I am on the editing end of the sword and was thinking, obviously falsely, that I could help mitigate problems and streamline edits by "nipping problems in the bud" so to speak.

Apparently not.

I am just trying to help is all. And have been humiliated many times over for my good intention. So I say FUCK TO YOU ALL!

I'm kind of annoyed you didn't call me out on my use of "and."

And I noticed you used "and" three times in your post!

 

[TE999]

We don't all give 'nit-picky doodah'.

No one said all of you editors did...sometimes your work saves a story and makes it worth reading...sometimes it's 'nit-picky doodah'...I've experienced both.

This is all fine. Won't be editing for any of you... not that I recall any of you requiring editorial services. Okay fine, run me out of town, was just trying to be proactive.

My intent was good.

Know better than to venture into these shark-infested waters again.

ML, please, you call this VILE place HOME????

Screw ya'll, was just trying to help.

Ya'll go FUCK YOURSELVES!

Oh, that's a mature response. Do you treat authors that question your editorial changes and comments in such a fashion?

 

[TE999]

I agree.

My comment was teasing TE, not AS.

You've done some fine reconstructive surgery on some of my literary efforts in the past Lynn.

 

[_Lynn_]

You've done some fine reconstructive surgery on some of my literary efforts in the past Lynn.

That seems like so long ago, you know?

 

[AsylumSeeker]

No one said all of you editors did...sometimes your work saves a story and makes it worth reading...sometimes it's 'nit-picky doodah'...I've experienced both.



Oh, that's a mature response. Do you treat authors that question your editorial changes and comments in such a fashion?

This is a fair question. Does one ask many questions when a knife is being inserted in one's back? I posted here in the hopes of assisting hopeful writers in advance of requesting editing help.

This is obviously a lost war before I have even entered the field of battle. So be it.

Apparently my attempt to "help" has been turned into a weapon against me. WOn't be making this mistake again.

 

[TE999]

That seems like so long ago, you know?

I know. It's disquieting how rapidly time passes. It seems like yesterday when we became friends.

 

[AsylumSeeker]

I know. It's disquieting how rapidly time passes. It seems like yesterday when we became friends.

Didn't know we were friends. I do recall, faintly, your handle from the past though.