From down under...a sub's view of things

[subliminalmessage]

Out of Shadowsdream's thread about male sub's not participating enough, it came to me--with a help of a couple of people--that we could use a thread devoted to a sub's perspective on things.

So here goes ...

Want to know what really makes a sub squirm? Want to know how a particular toy feels? Having a bad day and want to put a sub on display...if you have anything you'd like to know please just ask and i will do my best to answer.

Other sub's should feel free to chime in with their perspectives. i'll do my best to answer every question and keep things rolling, but there is no single sub's view of the world.

So, fire away!

 

[sphynx's dragon]

Aye, why the hell not? I guess I'm in too. Ask away and as I'm able I'll chime in as well!


...why do I have the feeling I'm going to regret this...

 

[subliminalmessage]

thanks

thanks for joining Sphinx

 

[AAkasha]

Even back in the old days on usenet, male subs just rarely posted on alt.sex.femdom -- even though it was a femdom only newsgroup. Sure, they would post on other threads or participate, but most would have the "do not speak until spoken to" type of stance. There were a few active posters who were subs, and they brought a lot of others out of their shells.

It's great that a male sub is addressing this trend. But in a uniquely sub fashion, I must say. "Ask me anything."

I don't know that this will engage femdoms or others in conversations. Male subs should post some questions of their own -- initiate, and spark some conversations. It's allowed!

Akasha

 

[subliminalmessage]

thank you

Dear AAkasha,
Thanks so much for those kind words. i'm happy to pose a question for the other subs. Would you also toss something out you'd care to know? Please do ask....

Following on what AAkasha suggested, how about this...

On Shadowsdreamer's thread there is a discussion about when sub's say they are doing something for their dommes pleausre, but it really is a ploy to top from the bottom. So how about this, subs have you ever done something you really, really didn't want to do for your Mistress? If so what? And how did the act of doing it make you feel?
In other words ever totally bottomed from the bottom....?

 

[sphynx's dragon]

thanks for joining Sphinx

Incidentally...I'm Dragon...My Lady is Sphynx...

 

[sphynx's dragon]

I've done a few things for Her that I REALLY didn't want to. We pretty much live it 24/7 and about a week ago we had an argument, gods can't even remember over what, but it ended with my dinner being in my dish on the floor. I totally disagreed with this as She was taking out her hormonal state on me. But I ate out of my dish without complaint because She was punishing me. Did I agree with this treatment, NO, and later She apologized for getting hormonal. <shrug> But I felt so owned during that and so truly Her's. I'd say the end result was positive. It's kinda weird too because sometimes I eat from my dish from the floor while playing and it's fun then. But when She walks in the room and plunks it down on the floor and points to it silently while walking over to sit down and eat Her meal. Well, such a big difference the emotiion behind a action can make!

 

[subliminalmessage]

thanks..welcome Dragon. great pics...so care to fess up and answer the question on the table?

 

[sphynx's dragon]

thanks..welcome Dragon. great pics...so care to fess up and answer the question on the table?

Which question?
...slightly confused....

 

[subliminalmessage]

funny coincidence

You were busy answering the question "on the table" when i asked you to answer it. the irony is your answer was about a dish "not on the table."

by the way, great answer...it is the mental play that really gets me the most...not saying physical doesn't do it too, but a mental humiliation, putting in my place, can really hit home.

i guess for me the worst was being dressed as a school girl head to toe, chained to a bed in a room next door to hers while she invited a man over (who was outrageously hung) to pleasure her for the night. Hearing it, without seeing was worse than being able to see. Having to sit there all frilled up while I heard her begging for his huge cock was not fun. All in all, i didn't want to endure the experience, i hated it while it happened. But when she finally came in at 2 AM, after he had left, barely able to walk, huge smile on her face, i was in such subspace you cannot imagine.

 

[Shadowsdream]

Male subs "IF" you enjoy CBT what is it about it that you enjoy?

 

[subliminalmessage]

Enjoy....hmmm

i'm not sure i would use the word enjoyment right off the bat--so to speak. There are times at which i crave and very much want cbt because i crave the feeling of humiliation, pain, ownership. There is something insanely erotic and very visceral about having a domme cbt you--she is taking control of the very essence of your manhood. Add to that the handling and manipulation, the likely torment and teasing and you have that incredible line where pleasure and pain blur, where all you feel is passion, desire, being owned, used, taken. In those ways i very much enjoy cbt, however, done well there is little true pleasure in it... a male sub leaves a hard cbt session barely able to walk, feeling totally humbled, aching, raw...Did that answer your question?

 

[Shadowsdream]

i'm not sure i would use the word enjoyment right off the bat--so to speak. There are times at which i crave and very much want cbt because i crave the feeling of humiliation, pain, ownership. There is something insanely erotic and very visceral about having a domme cbt you--she is taking control of the very essence of your manhood. Add to that the handling and manipulation, the likely torment and teasing and you have that incredible line where pleasure and pain blur, where all you feel is passion, desire, being owned, used, taken. In those ways i very much enjoy cbt, however, done well there is little true pleasure in it... a male sub leaves a hard cbt session barely able to walk, feeling totally humbled, aching, raw...Did that answer your question?

~~smile~~ thank you

Yes it gave Me your point of view on CBT and how you process it and envision it as you see a "well done" session...so I suppose a follow up question would be...WHY do you feel that a hard CBT done well would leave the sub raw aching and humiliated...in all cases?

 

[Aeroil]

I suppose in reality it's the idea of CBT that scares me, although I've never done anything myself.
I actually did a bit of self-nipple clipping recently though, which wasn't nearly as bad as I thought, which I have to say has made me less anxious about trying some painplay. hehehe, it will probably have to happen eventually, but I'm not going to tinker with the timing either way.

 

[Netzach]

I suppose in reality it's the idea of CBT that scares me, although I've never done anything myself.
I actually did a bit of self-nipple clipping recently though, which wasn't nearly as bad as I thought, which I have to say has made me less anxious about trying some painplay. hehehe, it will probably have to happen eventually, but I'm not going to tinker with the timing either way.

Heh, someone's gonna have fun turning you into a pain puppy.


I say this having been equally if not MORE sceptical that I'd ever enjoy any kind of pain whatsoever, and lo and behold certain kinds are fun.

 

[Aeroil]

Heh, someone's gonna have fun turning you into a pain puppy........

hehehe..... for all I know.........

 

[Kajira Callista]

Out of Shadowsdream's thread about male sub's not participating enough, it came to me--with a help of a couple of people--that we could use a thread devoted to a sub's perspective on things.

So here goes ...

Want to know what really makes a sub squirm? Want to know how a particular toy feels? Having a bad day and want to put a sub on display...if you have anything you'd like to know please just ask and i will do my best to answer.

Other sub's should feel free to chime in with their perspectives. i'll do my best to answer every question and keep things rolling, but there is no single sub's view of the world.

So, fire away!

so is this a male sub only thread? Are slaves allowed to post also? I'm all confused now.

 

[landcruisergal]

so is this a male sub only thread? Are slaves allowed to post also? I'm all confused now.

So am I.
I find myself totally lost in the woods sometimes, trying to Dom my boy effectively.
I am a collared sub,myself and have been domming my boy for 3 months now, albeit sporadically, due to his working away 3 weeks at a time. So I guess I am a novice femdom, and want to have a mutually satisfying experiance as I do with my Master
I have discovered that my pup's motivations and needs are often very different to my own submissive desires.The mental as much as the obvious physical.
I have a good idea of how maniplulation of female anatomy feels, but if I indulge in CBT, and all I get is "it feels good Mistress"...it drives me nuts!
Unless I quiz him after the event, I have no idea, and he finds my probing questions uncomfortable. I will do what I like anyway, but knowledge is power.
I shall be watching this thread with keen interest.
Beware, I might ask lots of questions, is that ok?
and I echo KC's question Can I make references to my experiance as a pyl, or restrict my posts to PYL related.

 

[Netzach]

I vote you can talk about whatever experience you have.

I also have to say that "just do as you would have done to you" doesn't always work very well -- it's a good place to start, but not always. (I was actively switching more for about 6 of my almost 9 years doing SM)

Some people (boy people especially) are not as into verbally processing their expeiences as some other people (girl people especially) and I find that I have to rely more on physical cues than post-game wrapup. Also what I like and hate is unique to me and all subs come with their own set of weird quirks, as you well know by now, that's no news flash. It's possible that you doing your worst to his dick feels great to him. It's very hard to get most guys to hash out their feelings on this very intimate form of torture, though.

 

[landcruisergal]

My pup is young with a disposable income, and always bring me presents.
Like a new dvd player, a pair of Oakley sun glasses, and lingerie.

He dont doubt his generousity, but it sort of makes me feel like I might be endebted to him, or spoilt like a casual vanilla mistress.
And suspect this may undermine my position of power.
It cheapens things a little, I feel, or am I being paranoid that he may be manipulating the situation somehow, even if he's just being "nice"?

Do most male subs feel the need to bring gifts for their PYL?

I know prodommes have gift lists. But I'm hardly in that league.
And will put a halt to the practise, I think. Opinions?

 

[Netzach]

My pup is young with a disposable income, and always bring me presents.
Like a new dvd player, a pair of Oakley sun glasses, and lingerie.

He dont doubt his generousity, but it sort of makes me feel like I might be endebted to him, or spoilt like a casual vanilla mistress.
And suspect this may undermine my position of power.
It cheapens things a little, I feel, or am I being paranoid that he may be manipulating the situation somehow, even if he's just being "nice"?

Do most male subs feel the need to bring gifts for their PYL?

I know prodommes have gift lists. But I'm hardly in that league.
And will put a halt to the practise, I think. Opinions?

If you don't like it, don't suffer through it. If you like it, encourage it. If you can't lose the sense of "owing" something, it's not going to work. If you feel entitled and confident, it will be pleasurable.

 

[landcruisergal]

I vote you can talk about whatever experience you have.

I also have to say that "just do as you would have done to you" doesn't always work very well -- it's a good place to start, but not always. (I was actively switching more for about 6 of my almost 9 years doing SM)

Some people (boy people especially) are not as into verbally processing their expeiences as some other people (girl people especially) and I find that I have to rely more on physical cues than post-game wrapup. Also what I like and hate is unique to me and all subs come with their own set of weird quirks, as you well know by now, that's no news flash. It's possible that you doing your worst to his dick feels great to him. It's very hard to get most guys to hash out their feelings on this very intimate form of torture, though.

The lack of communication skills frustrates me to hell sometimes, and he is so much a "tough guy" he refuses to show pain, and he reports a high threshold for pain anyway. And I could really hurt him badly before he would use a safe word. I have to check in with him frequently during intense scenes.His body language is hard to read.
But his "hero" attitude is something I find attractive. A modern day barbarian. Strong and silent.
I am a petite, 5'3", he's 6"3. and I can control him, and hurt him.

 

[landcruisergal]

Sorry, questions...I have so many*sigh*

 

[Netzach]

The lack of communication skills frustrates me to hell sometimes, and he is so much a "tough guy" he refuses to show pain, and he reports a high threshold for pain anyway. And I could really hurt him badly before he would use a safe word. I have to check in with him frequently during intense scenes.His body language is hard to read.
But his "hero" attitude is something I find attractive. A modern day barbarian. Strong and silent.
I am a petite, 5'3", he's 6"3. and I can control him, and hurt him.

Yummy. Fun but frustrating. But soooo yummy so enticing. I love those brute types too sometimes. Hmmmm....just thought of something.

My tough guy is totally stoic during painplay. He's a sports nut with a high pain tolerance. Introduce pleasure or sensuality or sensory overload and he crumbles like a cupcake. He will literally fall to the floor if I touch him certain ways, and he will literally go limp and silent if I slap his face very lightly, symbolically even. It took years for me to figure out that what I usually like to accomplish via pain I NEVER will with him, and the pleasure I usually dish as reward will actually put him into space.

Your guy is not necessarily wired this way, but it sure is an interesting puzzle.

 

[Netzach]

Sorry, questions...I have so many*sigh*

And I should shut up because it's the ask a sub thread LOL.