Friendship question

[Debbie]

If I associate with someone you don't like or get on with?
Would you assume I was like that person?
Tar me with the same brush so to speak.
Or would you get to know me before you passed
judgement on me?
My Grandmother used to describe my friends as
lame ducks. (In her eyes they were all from disfunctional
familes or did not meet her 'standards'.)
And you know the old saying; "If you lie down with dogs, you get up with fleas."
Does it ring true?
I am curious.

 

[Mischka]

Friends share common traits - that's what makes them friends. I presume people are similar when I know they're friends, but I don't assume they share every characteristic. Lavender and I are friends, and though we have a lot in common, we have a lot of distinct traits.

 

[Eumenides]

I like to think that I do not judge people for who their friends are, but sometimes I fail.

Most of the time I try to get to know that person outside of their established friendships, and make my judgement from there.

I have a couple of friends who hang out with people that are nothing like them.

I try to keep this in mind.

Plus, if people thought I was like my friends....

 

[shyybabe]

It would depend on the reasons for not liking the other people and the level of friendship.

Everyone has traits that bug us and we learn to accept and live with them. All part of being friends and unique individuals.

If we were all alike our lives would be very boring. But having said that, there are some people who I can't associate with because of a strong belief.

I guess it depends on the situation and the people.

 

[estevie]

Guilty by association.

Unfortunately, many people are like that. I don't think I am. I think I take each person as an indivdual.

Saying I don't like so and so because they are friends with so and so is a tad high schoolish. I have friend that I don't care for some of her friends. She sees the good in them, I think they are bitches. She is still my friend, though. Even when she gets us all together!

 

[millieteases]

Everyone is different, everyone is an individual.

I may not be comfortable with all your friends. I get deal with that.

If you insist on being friends with someone who is destructive towards you I will be very uncomfortable - and I will try to get you to see why I'm uncomfortable. Then I will expect you to do something about it.

Something might be changing our level of friendship.

I hope we would become closer friends.

 

[Awesome]

Okay.

This one i can answer,although the answer will prolly help you none.

I have one incredible friendship with a guy that everyone else i know,detests.
Now,to me,He's my mate JC.
To them,he's a scumsucking lowlife scumbag who would be better off dead or in jail.


Now,MY friends dont actually know JC.
They know OF him and have heard stuff from other sources.

This is the man i can call if i'm in the smallest amount of trouble.i know i can depend on this *scumbag* and he's saved my arse quite a few times.He's also the guy i would call if i got done for murder cos i KNOW he has good lawyers.
Ha.
Anyways,my point is;

Judge for yourself.
Let YOUR instincts guide you.


If i had of listened to anyone else,I would have lost out on an incredible friendship.

 

[#1tankcomander]

Invest in flea collars and do what you want! You are the better judge of friends, aquaintences, and people you know.

In reguards to that another old saying is "once bitten, twice shy".

Another one is "How do you know what whisky tastes like, if you've never drank"?

"You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink"!

"If it works, don't fix it"!

In closing, remember "Nothing ventured, nothing gained"!


#1

 

[peachykeen]

well, there is some truth also the the saying, "birds of a feather..."

however I used to have this cat who ued to like to go out for walks with us when we walked the dogs. No doubt, she was all cat, but she liked their company.

 

[Guest]

 

[Purrde Flower]

I learned a long time ago thatlumping one person with the group of people they hang around with is not always the bewst thing to do. Each person deserves their own judgement.

 

[Guest]

What a great question. I've been guilty of assuming friends are cut from the same cloth. I try, very hard, not to judge so easily. I've seen odd pairs. I keep in mind that friendships develop from all sorts of sitations and combinations.

 

[Debbie]

Thanks for the responses.
Each was interesting and thought provoking.

 

[Desert Amazon]

Re: Re: Friendship question

 

[Rambrat]

Mischka said it best...Friends share common traits - that's what makes them friends. Or, that is what most people believe.

I am guilty of this. I have avoided posting to people who I felt were friends with someone who wasn't too fond of me. In fact, I avoided anyone who even posted on their thread. Not so much because I didn't want to get to know them...but because I felt that they would never be interested. I felt that they belonged to a tight clique.

I have found that this is not necessarly true. And I am trying not to judge, because in the past...I have been wrong.

I'm still progressing as a person and someday...I'll me okay...

 

[Awesome]

I'm a friendly bugger.

I'll pretty much make conversation with anyone.


Though i do kinda steer away from bleached blonde giggly airhead girly types.

 

[SINthysist]

Where you perhaps the ugly duckling?

 

[Awesome]

No past tense about it.
I never grew into a swan.

 

[Jim_Henson]

My friends hate eachother.

Hey, its not that uncommon when I'm so fucking strange to begin with.

 

[*bratcat*]

This is an interesting question...