Friends With Benefits
- Thread starter Melloww
- Start date
SynchroDetail
Virgin
- Joined
- Dec 10, 2018
- Posts
- 1
Honestly? They often don't work out. It's hard to dissociate sex from other feelings - all it takes is for one person to develop them and it fails. Maintaining them long term is very unlikely.
davion2308
Motivated
- Joined
- Dec 24, 2005
- Posts
- 873
Not many people can handle it
I had a successful FWB relationship with a woman (I'm a guy) only in that she she had very little assocation with emotional experiences at all.
She was psychological a hedonist. We really didn't talk background or where we came from but sex was physical for her, just like playing basketball and orgasms were fun and then we went on our ways. She was generous with her attention, she was open-minded, and it was fun to a degree but she just wasn't friendly or emotionally outgoing and for me, even as a guy, that took away a bit from the experience.
I think very few people can maintain the expectations and distance required to work out. We had fun for a few months and she she chased an internship to the west coast of the U.S.
I had a successful FWB relationship with a woman (I'm a guy) only in that she she had very little assocation with emotional experiences at all.
She was psychological a hedonist. We really didn't talk background or where we came from but sex was physical for her, just like playing basketball and orgasms were fun and then we went on our ways. She was generous with her attention, she was open-minded, and it was fun to a degree but she just wasn't friendly or emotionally outgoing and for me, even as a guy, that took away a bit from the experience.
I think very few people can maintain the expectations and distance required to work out. We had fun for a few months and she she chased an internship to the west coast of the U.S.
E
Enchanted_Dream218
Guest
I had a friends with benefits relationship before. I ended up growing deep feelings for them and the whole thing was messy after that. I doubt I could do that again after that experience. Left me deeply sad and a wreck because of my feelings. Feelings grew for them overtime, so its not for everyone.
Kumquatqueen
Literotica Guru
- Joined
- Aug 20, 2017
- Posts
- 4,372
Seems to work best if both parties are already in a strong relationship, so they aren't hoping for one to grow. Then figure out what they want to do with their friend and ensure their partner doesn't mind. Can be very helpful when your partner doesn't want to do certain activities and you can go off and do them with a friend instead.
I'm not just talking about sex, either - my boyfriend going and seeing the extended LoTR trilogy in IMAX with someone else was a huge relief!
Having a mature bunch of friends who can discuss sex and treat it as a hobby is possibly also necessary.
How long? Twenty years and counting. I have lots of friends, some I sometimes do stuff with that counts as sex. I don't privilege the sexy activities over other meetups with friends.
I don't know many straight people who manage to keep open relationships. That may just be I don't know them, or maybe they struggle more to create their own types of relationship outside the cultural norm of 'you must totally satisfy your partner sexually or you are a cuck failure/disgusting slut'?
I'm not just talking about sex, either - my boyfriend going and seeing the extended LoTR trilogy in IMAX with someone else was a huge relief!
Having a mature bunch of friends who can discuss sex and treat it as a hobby is possibly also necessary.
How long? Twenty years and counting. I have lots of friends, some I sometimes do stuff with that counts as sex. I don't privilege the sexy activities over other meetups with friends.
I don't know many straight people who manage to keep open relationships. That may just be I don't know them, or maybe they struggle more to create their own types of relationship outside the cultural norm of 'you must totally satisfy your partner sexually or you are a cuck failure/disgusting slut'?
BuckyDuckman
Literotica Guru
- Joined
- Sep 18, 2011
- Posts
- 3,266
Most of the sex I've had with my FWB friends has been interesting and a bit "different." Rather than the passion-filled (fueled?) I have with a romantic partner, with a FWB friend, it's more a convenience thing. For example, I had one FWB two simply loved to suck dick. She truly did. It was a big deal to her. When she discovered that I could handle receiving a BJ and still be just friends, it meant the world to her. Ultimate, we hooked up for the whole deal a few times, but mostly? It stayed just occasional BJs.
Guess I'm saying FWB sex has typically been limited in its scope, but interesting for that reason, too.
Guess I'm saying FWB sex has typically been limited in its scope, but interesting for that reason, too.
- Joined
- Jun 13, 2018
- Posts
- 874
When I first separated from my ex who had been my only partner up until then and I was mid 30s, I looked for some FWB experiences to gain more experience. I had one that lasted 6-ish months, however towards the end I realised I was developing feelings for him, despite recognising he would not be an ideal partner. We laid ground rules that we would not be exclusive and in that 6 months I slept with about 10 other men.
One of them was amazing in bed, but we had nothing in common. I probably would never have been friends with him either and he was more a fuck buddy. I didn't seek to get him to stay the night and there was never any pillow talk post sex. We tried MMF and FFM but neither experience was that successful as the other party had no idea what he was doing- male who tried to do anal without any preparation or lube (ouch and a sudden stop of sexual urges on my part!) and female who had already started to develop feelings for the other male and could not cope seeing him perform sexual acts on me. I might have even been interested to try FF sex, but could never find the right partner.
I then met my current partner over 12 years ago and have been only with him since then and we are very sexually compatible. Sometimes I fantasise about some of my past experiences and there was only one that I regret- only time I ever was picked up in a bar and the sex was average, plus opening his wallet to get out a condom he flashed a photo of his perfect family and I felt guilty.
I've got two female friends who have struggled with a FWB relationship, but neither have been married or in an extended relationship. I think the key to a successful FWB situation is to know exactly why you are not looking for a relationship, or if you are, be certain of exactly what you are looking for in a partner. I am not a neat freak, but my initial FWB partner was. He mopped his floor daily and I'm more a once a week-ish type person. We would never have lived together successfully! Plus we were both straight out of failed marriages and knew we needed time.
tl;dr FWB is probably possible if you know exactly what you are after in a partner, but fuck buddies is sometimes a better solution.
One of them was amazing in bed, but we had nothing in common. I probably would never have been friends with him either and he was more a fuck buddy. I didn't seek to get him to stay the night and there was never any pillow talk post sex. We tried MMF and FFM but neither experience was that successful as the other party had no idea what he was doing- male who tried to do anal without any preparation or lube (ouch and a sudden stop of sexual urges on my part!) and female who had already started to develop feelings for the other male and could not cope seeing him perform sexual acts on me. I might have even been interested to try FF sex, but could never find the right partner.
I then met my current partner over 12 years ago and have been only with him since then and we are very sexually compatible. Sometimes I fantasise about some of my past experiences and there was only one that I regret- only time I ever was picked up in a bar and the sex was average, plus opening his wallet to get out a condom he flashed a photo of his perfect family and I felt guilty.
I've got two female friends who have struggled with a FWB relationship, but neither have been married or in an extended relationship. I think the key to a successful FWB situation is to know exactly why you are not looking for a relationship, or if you are, be certain of exactly what you are looking for in a partner. I am not a neat freak, but my initial FWB partner was. He mopped his floor daily and I'm more a once a week-ish type person. We would never have lived together successfully! Plus we were both straight out of failed marriages and knew we needed time.
tl;dr FWB is probably possible if you know exactly what you are after in a partner, but fuck buddies is sometimes a better solution.
Bramblethorn
Sleep-deprived
- Joined
- Feb 16, 2012
- Posts
- 18,311
I've never managed to have a long-term sexual thing without developing emotional attachment, but then my partner is okay with me having emotional attachments to other people.
Jada59
Literotica Guru
- Joined
- Dec 28, 2017
- Posts
- 23,941
Many years ago, I had a FWB. It just sort of happened. We were at a boring party. He grabbed my hand and said we were leaving. I told the person I'd gotten a ride with that we were leaving.
He took me to a club that we were regulars at, but they were almost closing. We fooled around on the dance floor. I lost my panties.
Wound up back at my place. Before we fucked, we agreed not to speak of this to anyone. Lasted for about a year. We remained friends, but no benefits as I had a BF by them.
He took me to a club that we were regulars at, but they were almost closing. We fooled around on the dance floor. I lost my panties.
Wound up back at my place. Before we fucked, we agreed not to speak of this to anyone. Lasted for about a year. We remained friends, but no benefits as I had a BF by them.
