Free clue for dreamland candyass wannbe Doms

[Ezarc]

I have a few friends that are subs as well as my own sub. I hear this on thing constantly. A self called "Dom" talks to a sub and starts to order and command them. Now, it doesn't matter that the sub has a Master or Dom. Doesn't matter that they had told the "Dom" that they were not intrested in that. He just does it.
WHAT THE FUCK PART OF "NO" DID YOU NOT GET?
Now, I have trouble with this behavior for several reasons. First, this is not invited or welcome. It is an intrusion to the subs life. It is a violation of there rights as a person and is harassment,
Second, is that it is like going past a limit. You are not respecting a subs right to limits and bounderies. Are you really that much of a poor bastard to ignore the limits?
Third, is that you not only can be insulting the sub but showing incredible disrespect to that sub's true Dom. Do you idiots really want to piss me off?
It is disrespectful to the sub, to their Dom, and to this lifestyle that you even claim to be a "Dom".

 

[rosco rathbone]

Shaving your head and growing a satan beard is an important part of becoming a dominate master.

 

[catalina_francisco]

I suspect these types are the same ones who in the vanilla world are deaf to the word 'No' also, and claim it was really a thinly disguised 'Yes'.

Catalina

 

[lark sparrow]

Is this mainly an online observation?

In person the pushiest males I've met have been "submissive" or up for anything, horny and wanting to be "taught" males.

 

[A Desert Rose]

What you have described is the definition of a bore.

I have never run up against this kind of behavior from men. But if I did and they expected me to behave in the manner you have described, they would be ignored rather quickly.

I have no problem being respectful to anyone who treats me in the same manner but I only have one Dom.

 

[wolf2002]

He just does it.

Sounds like rape to me.

 

[MissTaken]

Is this mainly an online observation?

In person the pushiest males I've met have been "submissive" or up for anything, horny and wanting to be "taught" males.

A lark sparrow sighting!

How cool is that?

And she made a wonderful observation as usual.

Yes, ezarc, BDSM or not, there are men and women out there who do not respect others and do not respect boundaries.

 

[catalina_francisco]

Is this mainly an online observation?

In person the pushiest males I've met have been "submissive" or up for anything, horny and wanting to be "taught" males.

Can't agree with the submissive observation from my experiences, but the rest is a loose description which tightened IMO comes down to egotistical, self centred, ignorant, rude, and often narcissistic and dangerous.

Catalina

 

[Netzach]

Assholes are a fact of life, you have assholes of every stripe, shape, size, color and orientation to pick from.

I think it's kind of interesting that Dom men in the SM community are so much more shocked and indignant about the existence of assholes than other guys are, at least when the assholes approach *sub* women.

I don't always chalk that up to altrusitic concern and better upbringing, personally. But that's not out of the question, either.

 

[Johnny Mayberry]

Assholes are a fact of life, you have assholes of every stripe, shape, size, color and orientation to pick from.

I think it's kind of interesting that Dom men in the SM community are so much more shocked and indignant about the existence of assholes than other guys are, at least when the assholes approach *sub* women.

I don't always chalk that up to altrusitic concern and better upbringing, personally. But that's not out of the question, either.

I think that altruism is a part of the anger that us Doms feel towards the asshole wannabe Doms, combined with teh fact that they harrass our submissives, and make all of us look bad.
Bastards.

 

[catalina_francisco]

I think that altruism is a part of the anger that us Doms feel towards the asshole wannabe Doms, combined with teh fact that they harrass our submissives, and make all of us look bad.
Bastards.

Have to agree from what I know. The sub's best interests are a part of a Dom's role, part of that being protective. If a D's motivation is solely possessiveness, though this is part of the integral Dom/sub relationship, it is not the whole, so in that instance I would tend to think the said D was not so much a Dom as a misguided vanilla or abuser, or at the most indulgent, a Dominant with muich t learn. And yes, those that do not have the decency to respect submissives and fellow Dominants, are not only pretenders, but are usually the ones by which the community is incorrectly judged and found guilty.

Catalina

 

[AngelicAssassin]

Couldn't agree with you more.

... Doesn't matter that they had told the "Dom" that they were not intrested in that. He just does it. WHAT THE FUCK PART OF "NO" DID YOU NOT GET? ... this is not invited or welcome. It is an intrusion to the subs life. It is a violation of there rights as a person and is harassment, ... You are not respecting a subs right to limits and bounderies. Are you really that much of a poor bastard to ignore the limits?... you not only can be insulting the sub but showing incredible disrespect to that sub's true Dom ... disrespectful to the sub, to their Dom, and to this lifestyle that you even claim to be a "Dom".

i think snake in the grass in need of a lawnmower a better appellation than Dominant.

 

[Netzach]

I think we should all be protective of our community.

That's different from peeing on the tree because it's mine or I think it should be mine or I wish it were mine. I'm not saying that's what Ezarc is doing or that's what you're doing, JM, but I sure see that happening in the name of "protection" a lot.

I speak up whenever I see someone's personal boundaries being violated, personally.

Few people have ever invested much in mine, but I'm not a sub, guess I can tough it out myself. Validation occasionally might be nice.

 

[rosco rathbone]

peeing on the tree because it's mine or I think it should be mine or I wish it were mine.

exactly.

 

[Bachlum Chaam]

Have to agree from what I know. The sub's best interests are a part of a Dom's role, part of that being protective. If a D's motivation is solely possessiveness, though this is part of the integral Dom/sub relationship, it is not the whole, so in that instance I would tend to think the said D was not so much a Dom as a misguided vanilla or abuser, or at the most indulgent, a Dominant with muich t learn. And yes, those that do not have the decency to respect submissives and fellow Dominants, are not only pretenders, but are usually the ones by which the community is incorrectly judged and found guilty.

Catalina

A good point my lady, tis all down to respect, be that of the person or in the case of a sub her master too, for me my lady's interests are of paramount importance, I concern myself with her total well being as much as possible, hehehe in fact I don't even order her about let alone a lady I don't know.

These so called doms are, I'm afraid in my opinion pretty poor and pathetic apart from sounding ridiculously pretentious I always find it so unutterably ...... poncey

 

[AngelicAssassin]

... tis all down to respect ... These so called doms are, I'm afraid in my opinion pretty poor and pathetic apart from sounding ridiculously pretentious I always find it so unutterably ...... poncey

i agree, and will add this:

• callow,
• ill-mannered,
• meddlesome,
• obtrusive,
• unworthy,
• and several adjectives to be named later.

 

[Guest]

Whatever happened to?????

Whatever happened to the simple idea that a Dom was polite.

That you didn't act like a putz with people you, one: didn't know the inclinations of, and two:hadn't recieved any encouragement from.

Whatever happened to the simple idea, that strength was quiet.
That the strong, and the secure. The Dominant personality, did not need to act out to try to appear in control.

Whatever happened?????????

 

[Georgia Girl]

My experience has been that these are the same people that will immediately attempt to address me as "slave". Only one person has the right to address me by that title, it is a title of respect.

Why is the submission of a submissive who stands up for her/himself in the presence of others questioned? Why do submissives have to feel they must be meek?

I would never question my Dominant but I will any other who does not respect me or treat me with even the decency afforded a human because I respect myself that much.

 

[AngelicAssassin]

Re: Whatever happened to?????

Whatever happened to the simple idea that a Dom was polite.

That you didn't act like a putz with people you, one: didn't know the inclinations of, and two:hadn't recieved any encouragement from.

Whatever happened to the simple idea, that strength was quiet.
That the strong, and the secure. The Dominant personality, did not need to act out to try to appear in control.

Whatever happened?????????

Most of the things you named come down to a lack of one of two things: Home training, or a willingness to pay attention.

While they live under another's roof, i can understand immersion in stupidity rubbing off on them. Hell, i'll even give them the benefit of the doubt for a year after they get out of that house to get some training in the school of hard knocks. After that, they might as well be working as a night clerk in a shop and rob, because they can't figure out why people don't want to be around them. With any luck, they just might run into someone a little meaner and get their head blown off cleaning the gene pool in the process.

 

[Guest]

Perhaps

Assholes are a fact of life, you have assholes of every stripe, shape, size, color and orientation to pick from.

I think it's kind of interesting that Dom men in the SM community are so much more shocked and indignant about the existence of assholes than other guys are, at least when the assholes approach *sub* women.

I don't always chalk that up to altrusitic concern and better upbringing, personally. But that's not out of the question, either.

Perhaps........Perhaps not.

But they DO make life difficult for those of us who are Dom, and who think that behavior is somehow important.
And in all truth - in most "real" Doms I have ever met there is a strong streak of ...."protectiveness" for lack of a better term. Why SHOULD we stand by and let some git hide behind what we are.
Why should we let them abuse people that we like (and sometimes much more).
Of course we get angry - these are the assholes that taint our name. These are the dickheads that end up on Jerry Springer making the entire community look like a buch of .............Pick your own.


GRRRRRRRRRR ahhh fuckit

 

[D's mariposa]

My experience has been that these are the same people that will immediately attempt to address me as "slave". Only one person has the right to address me by that title, it is a title of respect.

Why is the submission of a submissive who stands up for her/himself in the presence of others questioned? Why do submissives have to feel they must be meek?

I would never question my Dominant but I will any other who does not respect me or treat me with even the decency afforded a human because I respect myself that much.

Because we are obviously not real submissives if we don't lie down for doormat duty every time we meet a Dom...

 

[Bachlum Chaam]

Re: Whatever happened to?????

Whatever happened to the simple idea that a Dom was polite.

That you didn't act like a putz with people you, one: didn't know the inclinations of, and two:hadn't recieved any encouragement from.

Whatever happened to the simple idea, that strength was quiet.
That the strong, and the secure. The Dominant personality, did not need to act out to try to appear in control.

Whatever happened?????????

Like my country sir it went down the gurgler

 

[Etoile]

Because we are obviously not real submissives if we don't lie down for doormat duty every time we meet a Dom...

Augh! I hate that presupposition. Good call.

 

[Netzach]

Because we are obviously not real submissives if we don't lie down for doormat duty every time we meet a Dom...

Wellllll, this is kinda my point.

Why not convert more of this energy and intensity towards admiration for/encouragement for adult femsub types who have no problem uttering an uncouth "fuckoff!" when such is warranted?

Or why not come beating your chest when I have a foot freak who won't leave me alone at a munch...or the fingery msub who wants to offer me another ewwy drama club backrub...*shiver*

FemDommes get a bad reputation from some pretty clueless women's behavior too. I mean abusive, flighty, damn DANGEROUS women who don't think that men have a right to the first s in ssc. Does it piss me off? Fuck yeah. Do I call it out?

When I see it, in a venue where the information might actually protect someone.

I think the "abuser" posts like this are basically a chance for Doms to advertise that they are stellar non-abusive guys, and whoever condemns the loudest wins.

A round of applause for all stellar non-asshole male Dominants in the house then....you folks rock.

I think the refined Dominant is alive and well. It/he/she is probably taking up less air time than I am. Walks softly, carries a mean little stick.

 

[Johnny Mayberry]

I think the refined Dominant is alive and well. It/he/she is probably taking up less air time than I am. Walks softly, carries a mean little stick.

Mean little Evil Stick, you mean?



BTW, I don't think this is an ego trip for some Doms, it is more of a venting of frustration at the way people try to treat our property, and our friends.