Forgiveness

[His_kitty]

Forgiveness is me giving up my right to hurt you for hurting me.
-Anonymous

To err is human, to forgive, divine. - Alexander Pope






I sat down to write a long overdue letter to someone who has hurt me, again, and I'm having a difficult time finding words that aren't colored by pain. I started twondering how others feel about forgiveness. I wondered if perhaps I forgive too often.


Someone cries and admits fault for past mistakes, begs for you to understand and possibly forgive them -- to which you do-- some time passes and it happens again.


I've heard the saying fool me once shame on you, fool me twice shame on me so many times in the past. I just have a hard time with it. I know that some view (repeated) forgiveness as being weak. I had always considered that my being the sort with a forgiving nature as being strong.




How many times does it take to allow someone to enter and hurt you before you cut them out either completely or partially?

When is enough enough? Or is it ever really?

 

[penguindance]

 

[islandman]

Forgiveness is hard to ask for. It's harder still to give.

 

[hotlittlegirlwv]

I'm sorry you're going through this. I have very few words of wisdom, but I'll try. I tend to be very forgiving as well and don't think there is a definitive answer to the number of times you forgive, but there is a point where forgiving over and over becomes almost masochistic. That's not healthy. I guess the difference is that you can forgive and move on, but maybe forgiving and then FORGETTING and allowing it to happen again is the painful and unhealthy part. I don't know. This probably makes no sense. My point is that forgiving is something you should do for yourself so you don't carry around resentment and turn into an ugly person. But forgiving doesn't necessarily mean letting that person repeat their mistakes.

*shrugs*

 

[Guest]

The process of "forgiveness" provides for two things (at least): first, to unload the forgiver's weight of emotion, and second, the opportunity for the forgiven to do the right thing and make amends, too (which, often, doesn't happen).

The glass, at least, is re-filled, half way.

And for me, at least, it has always been the right thing to do.

 

[His_kitty]

Yes pretty_lil_stranger, as with most everything time does heal.

islandman, I find its far easier to forgive than to ask much less expect forgiveness.

Thank-you hotlittlegirlwv. I agree that forgiving doesn't necessarily mean letting yourself get hurt again.

ProofreadManx very well said. Its just me to forgive and move on.


With most its easy to walk away and say lesson learned. To be more cautious the next time around, if you have chosen to forgive and forget.

But with some that is harder to do. I've had people pass through my life that have left footprints upon my soul. They will forever have a spot in my heart that bares their name only, that no one else could ever touch. I know that my heart can expand to fit more into it as time moves on. But there are always those that stand out from the rest. Its especially those that I find hard to not forgive and welcome back into my heart.

 

[Temptress_1960]

I can forgive... but once that element of trust is gone, and I've been hurt, I can't bring myself to trust that person again.