For the Downtrodden and Erotically Challenged

[Guest]

Flicka: the new guy Xico... seems to know HP as well as you; forgot what thread he posted on, go search. P.

 

[pop_54]

Ello

Deer Brijet and Mathlady.

I need a frend reely bad, do'yu no any nice gurls who want a frend too as well also.

I'm qite tall, very broad, and even tho I aint very clever I can't half lift a lot.

I reely like gurls so if yu no wun ho's free and after a bit of the other, pleese let me no.


Ta very much Arnold Prigg.

 

[MathGirl]

Re: Ello

Deer Brijet and Mathlady.
I need a frend reely bad, do'yu no any nice gurls who want a frend too as well also.
I'm qite tall, very broad, and even tho I aint very clever I can't half lift a lot.
I reely like gurls so if yu no wun ho's free and after a bit of the other, pleese let me no.
Ta very much Arnold Prigg.

Dear Arnie,
I assume your AV is an actual picture of you. If so, don't worry about being stupid. You can get by on your looks alone. You are definitely Bridget's type, and you can expect a reply from her soonest.
Thank you so much for writing, you handsome devil.
MG

 

[pop_54]

Re: Re: Ello

Dear Arnie,
I assume your AV is an actual picture of you. If so, don't worry about being stupid. You can get by on your looks alone. You are definitely Bridget's type, and you can expect a reply from her soonest.
Thank you so much for writing, you handsome devil.
MG

Cor, ta for callin me andsome lovey, I like yu, will yu b my frend sumtimes.

luv Arnieold

 

[Guest]

Re: Ello

Deer Brijet and Mathlady.

I need a frend reely bad, do'yu no any nice gurls who want a frend too as well also.

I'm qite tall, very broad, and even tho I aint very clever I can't half lift a lot.

I reely like gurls so if yu no wun ho's free and after a bit of the other, pleese let me no.


Ta very much Arnold Prigg.

Arnold-

I am sorry that I don't have any contacts in your area to point you to. Perhaps you need to get a hobby where you can meet new people. Shared interests are a great basis for a new relationship.

You sound like a dear and should have girls of like temperament chatting with you soon.

b

Diane-

FOR SHAME!

 

[Guest]

B&D: I've read through this thread and am wary of poking about here, but I like to live dangerously and I'm hard up for male companionship at the moment. Arnold seems sweet and harmless and I don't mind illiteracy as long as four letter words are manageable. If you would be so kind, please give the dear chap my email address: twat4u@wahoonie.com.

gratefully, Regina Vagina

p.s. that's the real me in the pic, I'm not always so serious though.

 

[MathGirl]

that's the real me in the pic, I'm not always so serious though.

Dear Perdita,
If you keep picking at it, it will never get better.
Helpfully,
MG
Ps. Sorry, Bridget.

 

[Guest]

Dear Perdita,
If you keep picking at it, it will never get better.
Helpfully,
MG

MG: wasn't it obvious even to your sequential way of thinking that I let my friend Regina use my Lit. pass to post her query? You are too out there for me some times. (I will undo Reggie's AV when she's finished with Arnold.)

Perdita

 

[pop_54]

Yahooeee

Ere, Regina vagina, that's a luvely name, orll sort of regent and like royaltee.
Funy, my mumm usewd to corl ladys minge holes vaginas.

Ere Regina darlinn spose a fuck's out of the questchun.

MGz rite Perdita my luv, yu shudunt pik things, spesherly if thay ent got a ead on them yet, mumm told me that two.

Aniewold Prigg

 

[Guest]

Re: Yahooeee

Mr. Prigg,
Thank you for writing, let's keep it formal for at least a couple more attempts at this intercourse. (hint: I don't go very far on a first date.)

You have an interesting dialect, are you from Jersey? I know it can be difficult when two people come from such disparate cultures, but I rather wonder if you have one.

Yes, I am a bit too dignified for most men but you seem kind and charmingly naive. I like experimenting with gentlemen. (I didn't get the part about your mum's minge but I think I'd rather not know for the time being.)

I will ignore your indiscrete query about a f**k; let's leave that for another time. I will pass along your comment to Ms. Perdita though I daresay she won't understand what you mean anymore than I.

anon, dear sir,
Regina

 

[pop_54]

Oooooooo

Ere intercourse, thas a bit strong ennit, I ad some u that wunce, made my willy sick though.

No deer I aint never bean to Jersey, wunce went to the Isle of wight, thas the farthest I bean abrawd, can't swim see.

I dunno wot indescrete is, butt I cudnt alf do with a bloody good Ump. Ere thers summat wrong with yoor keybord it casn't spel fuck.

 

[Guest]

give us a kiss

OK, Arnie. That's enough polite chatter. You made me laugh heartily at the mention of my keyboard. I have basically one key (I'm sure you know it's location) and it spells f-u-c-k just fine.

I suggest we get off this board before we get banned. Meet me in 10 minutes at the bottom of your garden (yes, I know where you live; I have connections everywhere).

Bring a hankie, a blanket and pillow, olive oil, and some spirits of some sort. I will exhaust you, I promise, but then nurse you back to even better health. (FYI, I am a sexual therapist by profession.)

Ready for intercourse and 'umping as you say.

Cunt (nickname for Vagina)

p.s. bring plenty of protection.

 

[pop_54]

Oh deer

Oi dunt no anybody in th bloody Mafia to get protection.

I alays practiss safe sex, i dunt ave any, cant get bloody safer than that.

I got most of the things on yoor list, but aint there a sheep missing.

Ohhh damm me if I ent coming premm... premert....premrat... two quik.

Arney

 

[Guest]

Just get out here, man. Forget the sheep. I'll protect you.

C.

 

[pop_54]

Luv yu two, Ta darlinn.

 

[Guest]

Note left next to Arnold, snoring under the mulberry bush:

Arnie, boy: I must take my leave. It was a grand 12 minutes. I think we best keep this event as a precious memory.

with affection, Regina

p.s. Do not contact me again in any way whatsoever.

 

[pop_54]

grump

Ohhhhhhhh bugger, fuck, shit, er's only gone and sodded off.

Ah well, cum on jermima, wot do yu meen, Baaahhh.

 

[Guest]

OOC: laughing so hard my tits are shaking like jello. Oh my.

love you darling, Perdita & co.

 

[MathGirl]

No offense, but........

No offense, but please take your epic-length posts about singing cowboys to your personal thread.

cordially, Perdita

Dear Perdita,
I'm more flexible. You and Pop can use Bridget and MG's thread for anything you like. Feel free. We aren't using it at the moment.
Cordially, MG

 

[Guest]

MG: you're the best (at so much). I wasn't serious about you and Quas, you'll see I reposted. thanks a bunch,
Perd

(we'll come up w/some more refined characters next)