For Perdita

[oggbashan]

LONDON (Reuters) - Help is at hand for foreign doctors working in Yorkshire whose patients complain of sore "lugholes" or say they're feeling "jiggered" and can't stop "gipping".


Health officials in Doncaster, South Yorkshire have compiled a guide of local dialect and slang to help a group of seven Austrian doctors -- all fluent English speakers -- better understand their sometimes thickly accented patients.


"We recruited these doctors because of a shortage in Britain and though they all speak very good English they've struggled with the local dialect," health authority spokesman Ian Carpenter said on Friday.


"The guide includes some terms that are quite vulgar, but the doctors have found it very useful and it's also helped them integrate into life in the area," he added.


The Austrians, among the thousands of recent overseas recruits into Britain's National Health Service, will now know that "lugholes" are ears, feeling "jiggered" means exhausted and "gipping" is vomiting.


Other terms include "doofer" for penis, "tackle" for testicles and "popped his clogs" for dead.


"We're looking to hire more doctors from Spain so the guide will be all ready to help them too," Carpenter said.

 

[Svenskaflicka]

Oh, if someone could do the same for Stockholmers!!!

 

[oggbashan]

Yorkshire has a significant population of Muslims.

Many of the second and subsequent generations speak Yorkshire too. It is called integration. They learn it at school but not in the classroom.

It should make Friday prayers difficult for the security services to monitor.

"Eye-up lads. We must 'ave a fatwa."

Og

 

[Guest]

Amazing. Earl has a thread on this, and CV posted the article in his ongoing thread.

Thanks, Ogg, but I guess we're all on tenterhooks waiting for the Gauche Yorkshirebloke to talk.

Perdita

 

[Virtual_Burlesque]

... the guide will be all ready to help them too," Carpenter said.

If Ian is the Carpenter, who is the Walrus?

(This time.)

 

[oggbashan]

Fatwa

I started thinking about how a Yorkshire Muslim would talk and came up with this:

Fatwa

“Sithee, Lad, ye mun get uns a fatwa denouncing that mad bugger Bin Laden. It’s a matter o’ brass and ye knaws there’s nowt us folk ‘ave closer t’heart.”

“You know we have nowt to do with Bin Laden or Al Queda.”

I knows that by t’others don’t. At market t’other day no bugger would bid on me tegs. Thart’s got right up me nose. T’auctioneer said ‘twas coz of Bin Laden. Folk think we all are loike ‘im, even us Yorkshire Muslims. Ali up t’dale said same ‘appened to ‘im last week o’er at Skipton. Yew’ve got to get folk to think we’re Yorkshire first and Muslim second and if we saw Bin Laden we’d loike nowt better than t’chuck ‘im in t’harvester or down a pot’ole. Ye’s our Imam. Ye can denounce Bin Laden at Friday prayers.”

“I have and I do.”

“But you do it in bloddy Arabic ye useless fool. Next Friday do it in plain Yorkshire so folk ken what ye mean. Turn speaker up reet loud so whole town kens we hate that bugger. We’ll back ye up wi’ a march through town – once ye’ve got the fatwa.”

“I can’t give a fatwa. I haven’t got any authority.”

“Who cares about authority? Ye’re t’only Imam in owr town. That’s enough for us. Ye were born and bred in Bradford, not Bag-bloody-dad.”


Apologies to real Yorkshire folk.

Og