Dixon Carter Lee
Headliner
- Joined
- Nov 22, 1999
- Posts
- 48,682
For my favorite Jersey Girl:
YOU KNOW YOUR FROM NEW JERSEY IF:
1. You don’t go the beach, you go to “The Shore.”
2. You know where the cops hide on the Garden State Parkway.
3. You’ve driven through a GSP toll booth at 35 mph. and still paid.
4. You wish that they would close the Outerbridge and the Goethels Bridge
on Friday so that the Staten Islanders couldn’t come in.
5. You like the Nets but are probably still a Knicks fan.
6. You’ve spat off of the sky ride at Great Adventure.
7. You know what a “Piney” is.
8. You fold your pizza and let the grease drip off onto the paper plate.
9. You’ve had a “Lem-Tea” at Gee-Gees.
10. You know at which light pole to meet your friends in Giants Stadium
parking lot.
11. You know what a “Jetty” is.
12. When you ask for a hard roll nobody has ever said to you “ Our rolls aren’t hard, they’re fresh.
13. You are still confused about “The Mummers Parade” in Philly.
14. The employees at your favorite Pizza Place speak Italian better than English.
15. You are not repulsed by soft shell crabs.
16. You’ve had to hide in the water from the beach nazis because you didn’t buy a beach pass.
17. You’ve driven around for hours and still had to double park in Hoboken.
18. You’ve had too much to drink at a Rutgers Fraternity party.
19. You are confused by fundamentalist Christianity.
20. You think everyone west of Philly owns a cow.
21. You know what a Bennie, a Local or a Guido is.
22. You are over 30 and were probably not born in Jersey.
23. You know that New Yorkers are terrible drivers.
24. You’ve registered a vehicle out of state to avoid the insurance.
25. You eat Chinese food at least once a month.
26. You’re favorite bagel place is not a chain.
27. You actually know some named Guido.
28. Salt water cures many ills.
29. You know someone named Gina Marie and/or Morty.
30. You wish that the evening news actually pertained to New Jersey.
31. You don’t actually know how many people were in your graduating
class, and don’t care.
32. You’ve ever thrown a jellyfish at someone.
33. You don’t understand why people in other parts of the country are so damned friendly.
34. You’ve had gravy fries at a diner past midnight.
35. You’ve ever had to explain a “Jughandle” to someone.
36. You realize that on Christmas Day, Atlantic City is filled with Chinese and Jews.
37. You know off which exit you live.
38. Your favorite pizza place has a picture of Frank Sinatra on the wall.
39. You’ve tried to do a Pub Crawl on Washington Street.
40. You know the rides at the boardwalk are lame but you go on them anyway.
41. You were excited that Bon Jovi named the album New Jersey but you’re still embarrassed by them.
42. You saw, if not signed the petition to make “Born To Run” the state song.
43. You went to the Tradewinds because you heard a rumor that Sprinsteen might show up that night.
44. You can correctly pronounce Manalapan, Hohokus, Weehawkin and Manasquan.
45. You know when the Stripers and Bluefish are running.
46. You went to college in state with about 20 people from your graduating class.
47. You’ve seen the Nerds at Birch Hill or Crystal Ship at Great Adventure.
48. You think that N.Y. should give us the Statue of Liberty back.
49. You’ve made excuses for Elizabeth and Carteret to out of towners.
50. You’ve been to the Garden State Arts Center or the Trenton Museum on a field trip.
51. You know we get to take advantage of New York and Philly without the hassle.
52. A 45 minute commute is no big deal.
53. Everyone you know is ethnic.
54. The words “CookiePuss” and “Fudgey the Whale” make you laugh.
55. You wax nostalgic for Crazy Eddie commercials.
56. You’ve been to or thought about going to Raceway Park.
57. You don’t play that much golf because there is too much else to do.
58. Your Jewish friends like decorating the Christmas tree more than you do.
59. Stories of the “Jersey Devil” scared the crap out of you as a kid.
60. You know where at least one Kosher Deli is.
61. You wish Go-Go bars were topless.
62. You watched Bob MacAlister, Sunday morning on “Wonderama”, Channel 5.
63. You were on, or new someone who was on “The Uncle Floyd Show.”
64. You can get N.Y., N.J. and Philly radio stations so you can use all of your preset buttons.
65. You can get N.Y. and Philly TV stations so you had twice as much to watch before cable.
66. You know how to survive a traffic circle.
67. You are within an hour and a half of more Professional Sports, Concert Venues and Cultural events than anywhere else in the country.
68. Your favorite restaurant is not publicly held.
69. Why? Because it’s fun.
70. You know not to make eye contact with anyone on The Path Train.
71. You’ve looked for the line where N.Y. become N.J. in the Lincoln Tunnel.
72. You’ve worked for or know someone who has worked for a lawn service.
73. You woke up on the beach after prom night a new man/woman.
74. You probably owned a moped, and thought it was cool.
75. You know your bus number from Port Authority and not to oversleep your stop.
76. You can remember the theme song from “ZOOM.”
77. You’ve counted the N.Y. license plate in the parking lot of a night club and decided to go home.
78. You’ve purchased socks at “The Auction”
79. You remove your jewlery to go into the city.
80. You hate when people say “You from Joisey?”
YOU KNOW YOUR FROM NEW JERSEY IF:
1. You don’t go the beach, you go to “The Shore.”
2. You know where the cops hide on the Garden State Parkway.
3. You’ve driven through a GSP toll booth at 35 mph. and still paid.
4. You wish that they would close the Outerbridge and the Goethels Bridge
on Friday so that the Staten Islanders couldn’t come in.
5. You like the Nets but are probably still a Knicks fan.
6. You’ve spat off of the sky ride at Great Adventure.
7. You know what a “Piney” is.
8. You fold your pizza and let the grease drip off onto the paper plate.
9. You’ve had a “Lem-Tea” at Gee-Gees.
10. You know at which light pole to meet your friends in Giants Stadium
parking lot.
11. You know what a “Jetty” is.
12. When you ask for a hard roll nobody has ever said to you “ Our rolls aren’t hard, they’re fresh.
13. You are still confused about “The Mummers Parade” in Philly.
14. The employees at your favorite Pizza Place speak Italian better than English.
15. You are not repulsed by soft shell crabs.
16. You’ve had to hide in the water from the beach nazis because you didn’t buy a beach pass.
17. You’ve driven around for hours and still had to double park in Hoboken.
18. You’ve had too much to drink at a Rutgers Fraternity party.
19. You are confused by fundamentalist Christianity.
20. You think everyone west of Philly owns a cow.
21. You know what a Bennie, a Local or a Guido is.
22. You are over 30 and were probably not born in Jersey.
23. You know that New Yorkers are terrible drivers.
24. You’ve registered a vehicle out of state to avoid the insurance.
25. You eat Chinese food at least once a month.
26. You’re favorite bagel place is not a chain.
27. You actually know some named Guido.
28. Salt water cures many ills.
29. You know someone named Gina Marie and/or Morty.
30. You wish that the evening news actually pertained to New Jersey.
31. You don’t actually know how many people were in your graduating
class, and don’t care.
32. You’ve ever thrown a jellyfish at someone.
33. You don’t understand why people in other parts of the country are so damned friendly.
34. You’ve had gravy fries at a diner past midnight.
35. You’ve ever had to explain a “Jughandle” to someone.
36. You realize that on Christmas Day, Atlantic City is filled with Chinese and Jews.
37. You know off which exit you live.
38. Your favorite pizza place has a picture of Frank Sinatra on the wall.
39. You’ve tried to do a Pub Crawl on Washington Street.
40. You know the rides at the boardwalk are lame but you go on them anyway.
41. You were excited that Bon Jovi named the album New Jersey but you’re still embarrassed by them.
42. You saw, if not signed the petition to make “Born To Run” the state song.
43. You went to the Tradewinds because you heard a rumor that Sprinsteen might show up that night.
44. You can correctly pronounce Manalapan, Hohokus, Weehawkin and Manasquan.
45. You know when the Stripers and Bluefish are running.
46. You went to college in state with about 20 people from your graduating class.
47. You’ve seen the Nerds at Birch Hill or Crystal Ship at Great Adventure.
48. You think that N.Y. should give us the Statue of Liberty back.
49. You’ve made excuses for Elizabeth and Carteret to out of towners.
50. You’ve been to the Garden State Arts Center or the Trenton Museum on a field trip.
51. You know we get to take advantage of New York and Philly without the hassle.
52. A 45 minute commute is no big deal.
53. Everyone you know is ethnic.
54. The words “CookiePuss” and “Fudgey the Whale” make you laugh.
55. You wax nostalgic for Crazy Eddie commercials.
56. You’ve been to or thought about going to Raceway Park.
57. You don’t play that much golf because there is too much else to do.
58. Your Jewish friends like decorating the Christmas tree more than you do.
59. Stories of the “Jersey Devil” scared the crap out of you as a kid.
60. You know where at least one Kosher Deli is.
61. You wish Go-Go bars were topless.
62. You watched Bob MacAlister, Sunday morning on “Wonderama”, Channel 5.
63. You were on, or new someone who was on “The Uncle Floyd Show.”
64. You can get N.Y., N.J. and Philly radio stations so you can use all of your preset buttons.
65. You can get N.Y. and Philly TV stations so you had twice as much to watch before cable.
66. You know how to survive a traffic circle.
67. You are within an hour and a half of more Professional Sports, Concert Venues and Cultural events than anywhere else in the country.
68. Your favorite restaurant is not publicly held.
69. Why? Because it’s fun.
70. You know not to make eye contact with anyone on The Path Train.
71. You’ve looked for the line where N.Y. become N.J. in the Lincoln Tunnel.
72. You’ve worked for or know someone who has worked for a lawn service.
73. You woke up on the beach after prom night a new man/woman.
74. You probably owned a moped, and thought it was cool.
75. You know your bus number from Port Authority and not to oversleep your stop.
76. You can remember the theme song from “ZOOM.”
77. You’ve counted the N.Y. license plate in the parking lot of a night club and decided to go home.
78. You’ve purchased socks at “The Auction”
79. You remove your jewlery to go into the city.
80. You hate when people say “You from Joisey?”
