Football Joke.........

[Chuckus]

Penn State football practice was delayed on Tuesday for nearly two hours. One of the players, while on his way to the field happened to look down and notice a suspicious looking, unknown white powdery substance on the practice field. Head coach Joe Paterno immediately suspended practice while the SBI and FBI were called in to investigate. After a complete field analysis, the FBI

determined that the white substance unknown to the players was the goal line. Practice was resumed when FBI Special Agents decided that the team would not be likely to encounter the substance again.

 

[Bitch_Goddess]

lol........The things people do in times of panic.

Sounds like the overuse of caution, as demonstrated at my school last week. A janitor cleaning a building was wearing surgical gloves, while cleaning, and changed the gloves several times over the course of the night. Well, each door handle he touched without the gloves got white powder on them, as surgical gloves are coated with the stuff inside to make them easy to get off.

Long story short, a professor sees white powder on the door handle of his office the next morning, and that coupled with a sign that said "Bio-terrorism class inside" made him call UPD. So of course, the building and people inside are quaratined, the FBI and HazMat teams are called, and three hours later, the mysterious white substance on 20 doorknobs is deemed negative for anthrax. At least my school now has plenty of antibiotics available to treat anthrax should it really show up.

Better safe than sorry I guess

 

[Chuckus]

Not a football joke, but still a goodie....

The ambitious coach of a girls track team gives the squad steroids. The team's performance soars. They win the county and state championship until one day they are favored to win nationals easily.

Penelope, a sixteen-year-old hurdler visits her coach and says,
"Coach, I have a problem. Hair is starting to grow on my chest."

"What!" the coach says in a panic, "How far down does it go?"

She replies, "Down to my balls. That's something else I want to talk to you about."

 

[morninggirl5]

Penn State football practice was delayed on Tuesday for nearly two hours. One of the players, while on his way to the field happened to look down and notice a suspicious looking, unknown white powdery substance on the practice field. Head coach Joe Paterno immediately suspended practice while the SBI and FBI were called in to investigate. After a complete field analysis, the FBI

determined that the white substance unknown to the players was the goal line. Practice was resumed when FBI Special Agents decided that the team would not be likely to encounter the substance again.

Chuckus,

Are you sure that it wasn't in Tuscaloosa, Alabama that this happened?

 

[Chuckus]

Re: Re: Football Joke.........

Chuckus,

Are you sure that it wasn't in Tuscaloosa, Alabama that this happened?

You never know, the name of the college may have been changed to protect the dumbass-edness!!!! LOL

 

[chanaud]

Is this where we post football jokes?

1) What does the average Mississippi State player get on his SATs?
Drool.

(2) What do you get when you put 32 Arkansas cheerleaders in one room?
A full set of teeth.

(3) How do you get an LSU cheerleader into your dorm room?
Grease her hips and push like hell.

(4) How do you get a Georgia graduate off your porch?
Pay him for the pizza.

(5) Why do the Auburn cheerleaders wear bibs?
To keep the tobacco juice off their uniforms.

(6) Why is the Maryland football team like a possum?
Because they play dead at home, and get killed on the road.

(7) What are the longest three years of a Clemson football player's life?
His freshman year.

(8) How many Ole Miss freshmen does it take to change a light bulb?
None . . . That's a sophomore course at Mississippi.

(9) Where was O.J. headed in the white Bronco?
College Park, Maryland. . . He knew that the police would never look there for a Heisman Trophy winner.

AND FINALLY (drum roll and cymbal crash...)

(10) Why did Clemson choose orange as their team color?
You can wear it to the game on Saturday, hunting on Sunday, and picking up trash along the highways the rest of the week.

 

[Chuckus]

Re: Is this where we post football jokes?

AND FINALLY (drum roll and cymbal crash...)

(10) Why did Clemson choose orange as their team color?
You can wear it to the game on Saturday, hunting on Sunday, and picking up trash along the highways the rest of the week.

LOL.........I will remember that one. Thats a goodie. Go chanaud.

Looking forward to the game Saturday.............in all seriousness.

 

[morninggirl5]

Re: Is this where we post football jokes?

(4) How do you get a Georgia graduate off your porch?
Pay him for the pizza.

(5) Why do the Auburn cheerleaders wear bibs?
To keep the tobacco juice off their uniforms.


AND FINALLY (drum roll and cymbal crash...)

(10) Why did Clemson choose orange as their team color?
You can wear it to the game on Saturday, hunting on Sunday, and picking up trash along the highways the rest of the week.

#4 is definitely true. #5 has been proven beyond any doubt.

But #10 is really Auburn, not Clemson.

 

[chanaud]

LOL

You must be a Tiger. My sympathy morninggirl.

 

[morninggirl5]

In my worst nightmares, I might be a tiger.


Roooollllllll Tiiiiiddddeeeeeee!!

Or in years such as this, Edit Llor!

 

[chanaud]

Re: Re: Is this where we post football jokes?

Looking forward to the game Saturday.............in all seriousness.

I bet you can't! I wish I can be there too. A good friend of mine is flying up for the game and had threatened to buy a Cocks shirt for me. eeeekkkkkkkkk

 

[WriterDom]

Why did Forrest Gump choose 'Bama over Florida?
He wanted an academic challenge!

If you have a car containing a Gator wide receiver, a Gator linebacker, and a Gator defensive back, who is driving the car?
The cop.

 

[morninggirl5]

Why did Forrest Gump choose 'Bama over Florida?
He wanted an academic challenge!

If you have a car containing a Gator wide receiver, a Gator linebacker, and a Gator defensive back, who is driving the car?
The cop.

LOL, I'm going to take that first one in the spirit I wish it were intended.

 

[chanaud]

Why did Forrest Gump choose 'Bama over Florida?
He wanted an academic challenge!

If you have a car containing a Gator wide receiver, a Gator linebacker, and a Gator defensive back, who is driving the car?
The cop.

LMAO

 

[chanaud]

In my worst nightmares, I might be a tiger.


Roooollllllll Tiiiiiddddeeeeeee!!

Or in years such as this, Edit Llor!

Oh gawd. I was sitting at the 20 yard line, 10 rows up at Ben Hill Griffen Stadium and witnessed the god-awful missed extra point in overtime from two years ago. sniff sniff

 

[The Nitelight]

What does a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader say after sex?



"So, are you guys all on the same team?"

 

[xzchief]

Why don't the football teams at Alabama, Vanderbilt and Kentucky have official Web sites?

Those teams don't know how to string three w's together.

 

[morninggirl5]

Why don't the football teams at Alabama, Vanderbilt and Kentucky have official Web sites?

Those teams don't know how to string three w's together.

That hurts as only the truth can.

 

[xzchief]

Sorry, Morning Girl. Usually, I substitute USC and UCLA for Alabama but this thread has a Southeastern Conference flavor to it.