Flogger lessons.

[edal1959]

My lady and I are exploring several new avenues sexually. One of them is the area of BDSM. We are both curious and excited about the use of a flogger, however I've never used one, and would not want to just flail away with it. I understand there's a technique to it, and safety concerns, so I've looked for some tutorials or how-tos but come up short. Can anyone suggest some resources for something like this?

(If this should be in the How-to section i apologize, and ask that it be moved.)

 

[Stella_Omega]

Um. It's a hitting instrument, of course. Depending on what it's made of, it could be very deep impact, or not. Swing it against your own arm and other body parts, to get a feel for it. Hit yourself light and hard.

When you are choosing your first flogger remember, it's possible to throw a big heavy flogger gently-- not always easy, of course-- more than it is to throw a light, soft flogger hard. My advice is to go with something in the middle, not soft and dainty deerhide, nor half-inch-thick buffalo leather...

The major safety concerns that I can think of: whipping a strand across someone's eye by accident-- if you are playing across a stomach, a blindfold is good protection. And also, sexy.

Remember that you can seriously bruise a person's kidneys without any damage showing on the outside. Learn where the kidneys are on someone and kind of avoid that area.

Like any sort of impact play, it's possible-- given a very strong arm and a very heavy flogger-- to whump a rib hard enough to crack it.

And if the strands, or ribbons, wrap around the body part, they will come down twice as fast and hard on the other side.

When someone is a new bottom-- and this is true for almost any sort of play-- they often are bottomless pits of painslut need. YOu can't always trust someone to know where their own limits are in those first sessions. I've seen little women take punishment that would cause a truckdriver to bawl like a baby and turn around and say; "That felt nice...."

And then not be able to walk the next day!

So, keep an eye on the preceedings, some things you can monitor are the color of their skin, the temperature of their hands, the strength of their pulse-- and use your own loving judgement if you think your partner is losing theirs.

I also suggest that you join fetlife.com, which is a kind of facebook for perves and look for "munches" in your are, and classes and demos.

 

[CutieMouse]

An easy/cheap way to practice your aim is to take a body pillow, and slip it into a dark pillowcase and use a ribbon, piece if rope, or belt to divide it into a "top", "waist", and "bottom". Buy a length of rope long enough to loop into a handfull of flogger "tails", and wrap one end with duct tape to make a handle. (leave the "tails" as loops to avoid messing with the ends fraying).

Now you have a practice dummy, and a flogger. Dip the ends of the flogger in cornstarch or baby powder, and practice hitting the dummy - *exactly where you're envisioning wanting to hit*. Are you aiming for the dummy's ass, but leaving powder marks on the hip?Are you aiming for the upper back and leaving powder marks at the kidneys? Once your aim is accurate, work on your touch - if you want to use the flogger with a lot of force, the powder marks should show that. If you're wanting to barely touch the dummy, again, the marks should show it.

Alternatively, you could do what I recently did- he said he was thinking about buying a flogger; I asked to look at his belts. We sat in bed for a bit, talking about stiff vs soft leather, and the difference in impact if he holds the doubled belt closer to the loop, instead of further away from the loop. And then I td him when he felt comfortable with his belt swing, we'd try it out - with thebelt, or a flogger if he felt more comfortable with that.

 

[BiBunny]

An easy/cheap way to practice your aim is to take a body pillow, and slip it into a dark pillowcase and use a ribbon, piece if rope, or belt to divide it into a "top", "waist", and "bottom". Buy a length of rope long enough to loop into a handfull of flogger "tails", and wrap one end with duct tape to make a handle. (leave the "tails" as loops to avoid messing with the ends fraying).

Now you have a practice dummy, and a flogger. Dip the ends of the flogger in cornstarch or baby powder, and practice hitting the dummy - *exactly where you're envisioning wanting to hit*. Are you aiming for the dummy's ass, but leaving powder marks on the hip?Are you aiming for the upper back and leaving powder marks at the kidneys? Once your aim is accurate, work on your touch - if you want to use the flogger with a lot of force, the powder marks should show that. If you're wanting to barely touch the dummy, again, the marks should show it.

Alternatively, you could do what I recently did- he said he was thinking about buying a flogger; I asked to look at his belts. We sat in bed for a bit, talking about stiff vs soft leather, and the difference in impact if he holds the doubled belt closer to the loop, instead of further away from the loop. And then I td him when he felt comfortable with his belt swing, we'd try it out - with thebelt, or a flogger if he felt more comfortable with that.

You should really teach classes on this stuff. You could make a killing, and there'd be far fewer idiots swinging things in this world.

 

[Stella_Omega]

Brilliant, CM

 

[Sir_Winston54]

You should really teach classes on this stuff. You could make a killing, and there'd be far fewer idiots swinging things in this world.

LMAO! I seem to remember a certain person in Kentucky trying to learn Florentine-style flogging...

And yes, CM is again brilliant.

 

[CutieMouse]

The funny thing is that the one and only time I've ever been flogged... The guy didn't really know what he was doing. It was a soft [expensive, very pretty] deer suede flogger, and he kept trying to hit hard enough to "do more than make pink marks". So he kept swinging. And swinging. Refusing to hit each ass cheek equally, because he wanted to "see his work" before moving to the other cheek.

At the end of the evening, he was annoyed that I wasn't even bruised and I was in tears. 48 hours later? That ass cheek had skipped right past the "purple & blue" stage if bruising, and was bruised to blueish black. Even with advil & arnica, I couldn't sit comfortably for a week.

Thankfully, the one interested in flogging listens to me. If anything ever feels "off", all I have to do is say something and we address it - without skipping a beat re: power dynamics. Knowing that about him (and having known him a couple years, period) makes ita lot easier to say "eh... These are the pros/cons; these are the risky bits (dangerous bruising, kidneys, blahblahblah)... I trust you to know when you're ready to actually hit me [beyond spankng], and with what [belt, flogger, wooden hairbrush, etc].

 

[bhndblueyes88]

The funny thing is that the one and only time I've ever been flogged... The guy didn't really know what he was doing. It was a soft [expensive, very pretty] deer suede flogger, and he kept trying to hit hard enough to "do more than make pink marks". So he kept swinging. And swinging. Refusing to hit each ass cheek equally, because he wanted to "see his work" before moving to the other cheek.

At the end of the evening, he was annoyed that I wasn't even bruised and I was in tears. 48 hours later? That ass cheek had skipped right past the "purple & blue" stage if bruising, and was bruised to blueish black. Even with advil & arnica, I couldn't sit comfortably for a week.

Thankfully, the one interested in flogging listens to me. If anything ever feels "off", all I have to do is say something and we address it - without skipping a beat re: power dynamics. Knowing that about him (and having known him a couple years, period) makes ita lot easier to say "eh... These are the pros/cons; these are the risky bits (dangerous bruising, kidneys, blahblahblah)... I trust you to know when you're ready to actually hit me [beyond spankng], and with what [belt, flogger, wooden hairbrush, etc].

Ow. OW. I think I'm going to book mark this page. So if the boy ever picks up a flogger, I can frantically point here and go "THIS IS BAD FOR THE LOVE OF GOD PLEASE DON'T DO THIS". This being what happened there, not use the flogger. I keep wanting him to get one of those xD

 

[Sir_Winston54]

Ow. OW. I think I'm going to book mark this page. So if the boy ever picks up a flogger, I can frantically point here and go "THIS IS BAD FOR THE LOVE OF GOD PLEASE DON'T DO THIS". This being what happened there, not use the flogger. I keep wanting him to get one of those xD

Some rather general caveats on floggers (and other impact tools):

Strike parts of the body usually covered by clothing.

Depending on the strike-ee's preferences and tolerances:

• Strike buttocks, backs of thighs. They can usually take pretty strong strokes.
• Strike the upper back. It can usually take pretty strong strokes.
• Strike breasts, though you may want to use a smaller flogger/impact tool.

Other than the buttocks and backs of thighs, do NOT strike "unprotected" areas of the back: the areas not covered by the ribcage. Kidneys and other soft tissues under there can be severely damaged by remarkably moderate strokes. Unless you're *very* experienced and your partner is highly comfortable with the idea, avoid the area between the bottom of the front ribcage and the hipbones. Some people are amazingly vulnerable in this area. Even then, I would very much recommend a lighter impact tool and a lighter stroke and *constant* checking with the strike-ee.

Do not strike any part of the neck. Do not strike the face, other than with an open hand, and only with a light-to-moderate amount of force. Besides the fact that bruising on the face can lead to inquiries by the gendarmes, some people have strangely delicate bone structure in some areas of the face that would surprise you (cheekbones, teeth. I know a male sub who lost a tooth by being slapped by his domme, and a female sub whose cheekbone broke under a relatively light slap {I saw the slap; it did NOT seem to have much force behind it at all!}.)

In general, if you wonder if an area is good to strike, don't. At least not until you find out for sure that it's safe.

Once you start... enjoy! (From both sides of the flogger )

 

[edal1959]

Thanks

Thanks everyone for the advice, and witty commentary. Are there any instructional videos available that anyone knows of? I've found several on rope work, but nothing on this subject.

 

[BaileyL]

I think above all else, it's the trust factor involved in the use of a flogger that excites and interests me. I trust my lover beyond question and know that if I am uncomfortable with any situation it will cease immediately. OH - and the thought of him using a soft pliable belt that he has worn is also something that excites me - the personal connotation that it was on his body...

The thoughts and instruction in this thread are wonderful and I think it's gracious of people to join in and offer their experiences and suggestions. Lit has proven to be invaluable to me on many levels.

 

[ecstaticsub]

Something I have learned quite recently. One of the drawbacks to losing 30 lbs is that both the cane and flogger hurt a lot more then when I had the extra cushioning.

 

[DVS]

You should really teach classes on this stuff. You could make a killing, and there'd be far fewer idiots swinging things in this world.

But more baby powder dust to add to the air we breathe. Might I suggest you use the unscented? I'm allergic to dust and some perfumes. Perfumed dust?

OK, just kidding, folks. Yes, I'm allergic, but I can deal. Swing away.

 

[Bi_Kitty]

LMAO! I seem to remember a certain person in Kentucky trying to learn Florentine-style flogging...

A head was involved. LOL

 

[BiBunny]

But more baby powder dust to add to the air we breathe. Might I suggest you use the unscented? I'm allergic to dust and some perfumes. Perfumed dust?

OK, just kidding, folks. Yes, I'm allergic, but I can deal. Swing away.

Do what I do when I have to be around hay for any length of time--wear a paint mask.

A head was involved. LOL

Kitteh sighting!

Yes, there was definitely a head involved. And it *wasn't* the head of the person receiving the flogging, either.

 

[edal1959]

A head was involved. LOL

Yes, there was definitely a head involved. And it *wasn't* the head of the person receiving the flogging, either.

So my thread has gone a little off track, but that's OK. I like the quips. But I am really curious as to the story behind this. (maybe I can learn something from it.)

 

[BiBunny]

So my thread has gone a little off track, but that's OK. I like the quips. But I am really curious as to the story behind this. (maybe I can learn something from it.)

Heh. I feel as though Sir W can tell the story better than either of us! Maybe he'll come back soon.

 

[Sir_Winston54]

Heh. I feel as though Sir W can tell the story better than either of us! Maybe he'll come back soon.

I'll be happy to leave the telling of that story to one - or both - of y'all.