Flashback as a writing technique

[Colleen Thomas]

I had an idea for a story, but it involves a good number of flash back sequences early in the tale. I would like to use these vingettes of her earlier life to build the character, rather than a heavy description or summary section.

In the past I have used flashback sequences in other genres, particularly in my cyber punk works, but I have never tried this particular technique in any format, much less erotica. I haven't seen it used in my somewhat limited readings on lit and was wondering if any of you have used the technique heavily in a work or have some observations on it's use that I can employ to make it work better.

-Colly

 

[Lucifer_Carroll]

I had an idea for a story, but it involves a good number of flash back sequences early in the tale. I would like to use these vingettes of her earlier life to build the character, rather than a heavy description or summary section.

In the past I have used flashback sequences in other genres, particularly in my cyber punk works, but I have never tried this particular technique in any format, much less erotica. I haven't seen it used in my somewhat limited readings on lit and was wondering if any of you have used the technique heavily in a work or have some observations on it's use that I can employ to make it work better.

-Colly

Hmm, well first off, flashback works best in first person or heavily personalized third person.

Personally, I once wrote a novella that was entirely flashback with a flashback/flashforward at the very beginning and no one I showed it to were confused so I assume it worked.


My favorite technique for flashback is character commenting. Have the character think back at how stupid certain choices of words or actions were or remembering sweetly how something felt that first time and insert a nostalgic feeling alongside the flashback. This way the flashback is a flashback instead of a past story inserted.


Um, hope that helps.

 

[Belegon]

In the past I have used flashback sequences in other genres, particularly in my cyber punk works,

-Colly

and where might one obtain these works, hmmm?

 

[Colleen Thomas]

Re: Re: Flashback as a writing technique

and where might one obtain these works, hmmm?

LOL,

My non erotic works are all posted at www.hogville.com on the writers page, if hoggy hasn't taken them down. I haven't looked in a long time.

-Colly

 

[Weird Harold]

I had an idea for a story, but it involves a good number of flash back sequences early in the tale. I would like to use these vingettes of her earlier life to build the character, rather than a heavy description or summary section.

In the past I have used flashback sequences in other genres, particularly in my cyber punk works, but I have never tried this particular technique in any format, much less erotica.

First, any story-telling technique that works in any genre will work in Erotica just as well. Erotic stories are first and foremost, STORIES -- there is no technical difference between erotic stories and any other genre in the way they shouldbe written.

Flashbacks:

A lot depends on how long and how frequent the flashbacks are and how you plan to present them.

One method is to use dialogue and let the character relate the flashback to someone else -- or to themsleves in their thoughts.

Another method is to "fade out" from the present and present the flashback as a vignette within the main story:

Mary remembered how naive she'd been the first time she had gone on a real date. Bobby was such a hunk and looked so sexy in his tight jeans...

***

"Mary, Your date is here," her mother shouted up the stairs.

Mary nervously made one last check in the mirror to make sure that she had everything buttoned properly and her skirt was straight. She wanted to look perfect for Bobby on their first real date.

...
***

Mary sighed. Yes, Bobby had looked great, but she had learned that night that looks weren't everything.

I've seen several stories that use flashbacks in the form above to tell two concurrent stories -- the story of what's happening in the present and a story of memories of past events triggered by events in the main storyline.

When done well, they're very interesting stories; when done badly, they're excruciating to read. Unfortunately, I can't really pinpoint what the differences are to predict which any given story will be.

 

[Lisa Denton]

I am not sure if this is what your asking since there are different kinds of flashbacks. Heartstopping, foot-tripping flashbacks of pain or sadness, or nice slow flashback of pleasant memories, the smells, sights, sounds. But most can be set off with a simple thought into the story. Of course you know all this so maybe you just want some examples so one might work into what you are doing.
"Colly was at work when she glanced at her finger, the smell of scented candles came to her as she remembered. Lisa was tied to the bed as Colly approached showing her the finger which was soon to have her screaming with pleasure."

 

[patrick1]

I've written and taught a lot of drama. Flashbacks are severely over-used in that form by the inexperienced. In my opinion, anyway. The writer feels an obligation to the back story of their character(s), but fulfilling that obligation can often feel a distraction to the reader or spectator. How does the past influence the present? Can it be shown through exchanges in the present? Heck, I was just watching a rerun of 'Cat on a hot tin roof' last night - there are no flashbacks, but brilliant (to me, as long as you accept the genre) drama about the past, memory, history.

I do appreciate that prose is more flexible than drama in this respect. To me some of the same questions apply, though. Are you carrying the reader with you? Have you found a good through-route from present to past to present? If the reader skipped the flashbacks, what would they lose?



patrick

 

[rgraham666]

What a coinkydink!

In the story I'm currently working I'm making (heavy?) use of flashbacks.

Basically I'm starting the story in the middle, at the end of the male protagonist's marriage. As the story goes forward, the female protagonist's marriage disintegrates as well.

As the story progresses, I tell of her breakup in the present tense and his breakup in flashbacks. I do this to highlight how similar their mistakes were.

I think the story is working well so far, but it's still in the first draft.

As far as advice goes, if a literary device works, use it. Otherwise, don't. As Weird Harold noted, we're telling stories here. That's all we should worry about, telling good stories.

 

[Rumple Foreskin]

Colly,

Your stories are not only still on Hogville, they're at the top of the list.

There's an old cliche' that the best advice for writing a flashback is, don't. In truth, they are tricky suckers to handle well but, if done right, can be effective. You may remember my story, A SPECIAL PHOTE. Except for the very beginning and end, it is all flashback.

Writing guru Sol Stein suggests making the transition into a flashback short and smooth and then getting out of past tense and back to whatever narrative style was being used in the main story as quickly as possible. The advice giving by Weird Harold, patrick1, and Lucifer Carroll was, unlike mine, also first-rate.

Even though you're one of the best Lit writers, IMHO using several flashbacks in a short story will be a real challenge.

Let us know how things turn out.

Rumple Foreskin

 

[dr_mabeuse]

I wonder if these scenes really have to be shown in flashback. That is, do you really have to start in the present and then take the reader back into the past? That's always awkward to me unless it's used very judiciously. I find more than one flashback irritating and amateurish. The piece comes off like "Walter Mitty", with more life in the flashbacks then there is in the story.

The alterntaive is to present the flashback events as they happened in real time as a series of vignettes. I did a story where I wanted to show a woman's mental deterioration following a move to a forbiddingly sterile suburb, and rather than doing it in flashbacks, I did it in a series of vignettes, some as short as a couple of paragraphs, each separated by section markers. The result was a kind of impressionistic montage of little events that combined to paint a complete picture of things going wrong.

Personally, I don't like flashbacks. I don't mind bringing in a person's memories as memories, but I find the narrative jerk of changing time and locale to be disoroienting and death to narrative flow.

---dr.M.

 

[Vincent E]

"Colly was at work when she glanced at her finger, the smell of scented candles came to her as she remembered. Lisa was tied to the bed as Colly approached showing her the finger which was soon to have her screaming with pleasure."

And...and...

Seriously, there needs to be some sort of AH etiquette that prevents these types of hanging sentences.

My participle isn't the only thing dangling right now.

 

[Guest]

 

[Colleen Thomas]

Thanks to all for your observations & advice. The story idea is intricately tied to the flashbacks, in fact it would be just a regular stroke type story without them. Not sure how well it will work, but I am working on it.

This is one of the transitions.

The woman seemed to feel eyes upon her and turned quickly. Her deep green eyes caught Beth’s brown eyes and held them for a second. Beth blushed slightly, but didn’t turn away and the woman smiled tentatively before turning back to the bay. Beth didn’t even notice. The moment she say the woman’s face a single name flashed in her head and with it came a collage of memories that simply wouldn’t be denied.

Chauncy Phillps.

That single name transported her back, back across thousands of miles and twenty odd years to a fateful summer in Savannah. Beth had been eight and her brother Rudy ten. They both sat and watched as the huge moving van pulled into the old Peterson place down the street. Large black men had sweated and groaned as they moved the heavy furniture in the sweltering humidity. They often stopped to wipe their heads with white handkerchiefs and curse the glaring sun. She had been far too young to appreciate what they were going through then. Men could do anything, like her father they were all super big, super strong and nothing daunted them. She and her brother weren’t watching the men, so much as they were waiting for the family to arrive, hoping that they would get some new playmates.


Perhaps seeing one of my transitions I might be able to get some more guided criticism. anything anyone has to say is most appreciated.

-Colly

 

[patrick1]

Colly (if I may so call you)

I feel you're overdoing the transition. It should be the prose equivalent of a jump cut. Leap from the present voice to the past voice, perhaps with the aid of a sub-heading, or italics, or some such device. Don't use the past perfect. That's my instinct, anyway.

p

 

[Carl East]

Colly was in the throes of a climax as she remembered the thread she'd started, entitled 'Flashback as a writing technique'

Suddenly all the answers she'd received on that thread came flooding into her mind, and she smiled when she remembered Carl's response. For the briefest of moments she pictured Carl's enormous cock, and then returned to the moment at hand.

Pulling the vibrator free, she wondered why she'd had such a strange flashback at such a critical moment in time.

After coming to her senses, she returned to the computer and headed straight for the thread in question. There at the bottom of Carl's reply was what made her smile.

THIS WAS NOT A DREAM, I REALLY DID ENTER YOUR MIND AT THE MOMENT OF SHEER BLISS. lol

Carl

 

[Rumple Foreskin]

Colly,

Following Carl is a tough act.

IMHO, patrick's advice is solid. Get into and out of the transition quickly. They can disrupt the narrative flow and easily throw the reader out of the story. The transition you used calls a lot of attention to itself.

My example isn't better, but it is different.

Hand in there.

Rumple Foreskin

--

(I TOOK OUT "BLUSHING" FROM THE FIRST SENTENCE BECAUSE, TO ME. BETH NOTICING SHE WAS BLUSHING CONTRADICTED THE LAST SENTENCE)

Beth didn’t look away. The woman gave her an uncertain smile before turning back to the bay. The unmovement went noticeed. The moment Beth saw the woman’s face, a single name flashed in her head, Chauncy Phillps.

She'd been eight and her brother Rudy ten that summer in Savannah. They sat in their front yard watching sweaty black men unload the huge moving van parked in front of the old Peterson place. "Rudy, you think they've got any kids, you know, our age?"