Flailing around looking for feedback
- Thread starter P40eBu5
- Start date
damppanties
Tinkle, twinkle
- Joined
- May 7, 2002
- Posts
- 16,276
Hi,
I think the reason you've not got any reply to this thread is b'cos you've not supplied a link to your memberpage. Its really too much to search for a member then go to his page and then go to a story and see it. I find it distasteful, so I guess other people do too. So, here's a link to your memberpage:
http://www.literotica.com/stories/memberpage.php?uid=137563
Okay, now that that is done, my feedback on your poem 'The Lady's Plan'. I liked the idea behind the poem but the language kinda put me off. 'Unwashed', 'unrefined'!!! Well, not my type of a man, so I guess that's just me.
'Lubricant' : I enjoyed that...
-DP.
I think the reason you've not got any reply to this thread is b'cos you've not supplied a link to your memberpage. Its really too much to search for a member then go to his page and then go to a story and see it. I find it distasteful, so I guess other people do too. So, here's a link to your memberpage:
http://www.literotica.com/stories/memberpage.php?uid=137563
Okay, now that that is done, my feedback on your poem 'The Lady's Plan'. I liked the idea behind the poem but the language kinda put me off. 'Unwashed', 'unrefined'!!! Well, not my type of a man, so I guess that's just me.
'Lubricant' : I enjoyed that...
-DP.
Merlins Boon
Really Experienced
- Joined
- Jul 23, 2002
- Posts
- 113
Review of Pedal Girl
I read your Pedal Girl story and I must say that I really liked the content of it. The story itself was original and enjoyable. You're biggest problem, I think, was in the writing.
There were a number of typos and spelling errors throughout the story and a few times it get a little confusing as to what was going on. I read very fast and when there isn't a flow in the story, it tends to break my concentration. I think the next time you write a story, you should take advantage of the volunteer editors and ask one of them to look it over before you submit it. They can definitely help you work out those rough edges and make your story better than ever.
I read your Pedal Girl story and I must say that I really liked the content of it. The story itself was original and enjoyable. You're biggest problem, I think, was in the writing.
There were a number of typos and spelling errors throughout the story and a few times it get a little confusing as to what was going on. I read very fast and when there isn't a flow in the story, it tends to break my concentration. I think the next time you write a story, you should take advantage of the volunteer editors and ask one of them to look it over before you submit it. They can definitely help you work out those rough edges and make your story better than ever.
Thanx for your comments.
I do know that the writing I do is, er, rough and not yet truely formed. But then that's why I'm here to post, read and get feedback.
And who knows - maybe learn a thing or two, like posting the link to my profile page ( duh )
http://www.literotica.com/stories/memberpage.php?uid=137563
Thank you again, I'll keep writing, reading and learning and hopefully others will read my words.
Phoebos
I do know that the writing I do is, er, rough and not yet truely formed. But then that's why I'm here to post, read and get feedback.
And who knows - maybe learn a thing or two, like posting the link to my profile page ( duh )
http://www.literotica.com/stories/memberpage.php?uid=137563
Thank you again, I'll keep writing, reading and learning and hopefully others will read my words.
Phoebos
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