Fisting

[Etoile]

i love the feeling of TT's fist buried wrist-deep inside me.....
and when he starts that rotation thing happening, i just go through the fucking roof!
(i guess he's hitting my g-spot with his thumb-knuckle?)

but seriously, the feeling of being so totally 'filled' is awesome.

it does take some time to get this happening the first time - it's not something you can just 'do'.

careful preparation and lead-up, with as much lube as you can get, as well as a patient and understanding partner are a must - and don't forget to have a 'safe' word ready - something neither of you normally say to eachother - that means STOP THIS RIGHT NOW.
something like 'banana' or 'match'. a word NOT associated with sex. and the trust and respect for eachother to stop everything the second that word is used.

there are a few threads here that deal with fisting - try the bdsm threads for more info.

I totally agree on the rotation comment - I'm not sure if it's the g-spot or what, but I definitely love rotation. A rapid up-and-down (by my girlfriend's hand) is great too.

I disagree that a safeword is needed for a regular fisting scene, though. While I am well-acquainted with the need for safewords in a kinkier context, fisting by itself shouldn't need a safeword. If the partners are not already in a BDSM-type dynamic, they should be communicating fluently throughout the fisting scene and a calmly stated "okay, sorry, I don't think I can take any more right now" should work.

Then again, having a safeword agreed upon never hurt anybody.

 

[warrior queen]

I totally agree on the rotation comment - I'm not sure if it's the g-spot or what, but I definitely love rotation. A rapid up-and-down (by my girlfriend's hand) is great too.

I disagree that a safeword is needed for a regular fisting scene, though. While I am well-acquainted with the need for safewords in a kinkier context, fisting by itself shouldn't need a safeword. If the partners are not already in a BDSM-type dynamic, they should be communicating fluently throughout the fisting scene and a calmly stated "okay, sorry, I don't think I can take any more right now" should work.

Then again, having a safeword agreed upon never hurt anybody.

the use of a safe word, in my mind, is an absolute must when first embarking on the exploration of things that have the potential to hurt you during sex - and fisting definately meets that criteria.

once you have done this a few times, and both of you are aware of the amount of relaxation required, as well as the limitations that you as an individual cannot exceed, then the need for the safe word is no longer so great.

but, being that the first few times you try this, you may not be totally aware of your body's abilities, and given that fisting, when done too quickly or incorrectly, has the potential to injure, the need for a signal that says "stop right now" is absolutely imperative.

i was with my partner for over 10 years before we first tried fisting, and even then, i had some problems initially - and i was grateful that we had a system in place where he could not possibly misunderstand, and when i used our word, everything stopped.
gave me time to adjust to all the new sensations, and allow my body to adjust to the fullness.

fisting is one of those activities that requires an enourmous amount of trust on the part of the fistee, and having something that you know gives you back some control during attempts, makes activities like this more relaxing and allows you greater exploration because any 'fear' is offset.

 

[bentover]

I could use some advice on fisting.

My gf attempted to fist my ass today (I am male) and it didn't quite work.

There wasn't any pain, its just that it seems I'm not big enough (I think she was against the bone of my pelvis).

I am curious if this is a normal thing or if there is anyway around it.

I love having my gf's hand up my ass, and want to take more of it, and any advice would be appreciated.

Thanks,

 

[Etoile]

I could use some advice on fisting.

My gf attempted to fist my ass today (I am male) and it didn't quite work.

There wasn't any pain, its just that it seems I'm not big enough (I think she was against the bone of my pelvis).

I am curious if this is a normal thing or if there is anyway around it.

I love having my gf's hand up my ass, and want to take more of it, and any advice would be appreciated.

Thanks,

Actually...this is something I'd recommend starting a new thread for! Meanwhile I'll work on research, I know Jack Moran has plenty of info.

 

[StoneTheCrow]

I could use some advice on fisting.

My gf attempted to fist my ass today (I am male) and it didn't quite work.

There wasn't any pain, its just that it seems I'm not big enough (I think she was against the bone of my pelvis).

I am curious if this is a normal thing or if there is anyway around it.

I love having my gf's hand up my ass, and want to take more of it, and any advice would be appreciated.

Thanks,

I would recommend lotsa lube buddy. Good luck

 

[HotAzLady69]

Ooooooh, I have. But I think we might be getting too kinky for these How-To board folks!

NO NO Not at all lol please contiunue lmao.


Far as the fisting thing is concerned.
I would tend to think this would hurt alot.
I'm only 5'6" and my man is 6'4" and dramatically larger than I am lol.
Doesn't this hurt the first time or second or what ever?
How long does it take to get "used to it"?

 

[warrior queen]

NO NO Not at all lol please contiunue lmao.


Far as the fisting thing is concerned.
I would tend to think this would hurt alot.
I'm only 5'6" and my man is 6'4" and dramatically larger than I am lol.
Doesn't this hurt the first time or second or what ever?
How long does it take to get "used to it"?

fisting doesn't hurt if done correctly...

slowly and patiently are the key to success, as well as lube, lube, lube.

and it doesn't really matter as to size, as long as you are relaxed, lubed and careful, this should eventually work for you.
you could try 'self-fisting' (even tho it's a little hard to get your body wrapped around to do it!) before attempting to do it with your larger partner.

good luck

 

[StoneTheCrow]

I'm 6'4" also I think it would take a rather roomy snatch for me to fit my hand into. No matter how I manipulated it.

 

[HotAzLady69]

slowly and patiently are the key to success, as well as lube, lube, lube.

Kinda like anal?

 

[warrior queen]

Kinda like anal?

exactly!

first time anal requires extreme care and patience - same with fisting.

there's a few threads on these boards that deal with fisting, do a search and see what you can find.

 

[HotAzLady69]

Well good to know I'm on the right track here lol.

At this point for me it's a curiosity and I'll take your advice and search it out on the boards and read up on it.

Thanx

 

[Etoile]

As I have said over and over, no man's hand is going to be bigger than a baby's head. Most women - except those told by a doctor that their body frame is ill-suited to vaginal childbirth - can give birth to a baby. Therefore, most women can be fisted.

Does it hurt the first time? Hell yes. The second time? Probably. And so on. Fisting isn't for everyone. But does that mean people shouldn't try it? Not at all. As has been said umpty-million times before, it's a matter of communication, communication, lube, communication, lube, and lube. Also communication.

A lot of women think that if they can't take the full fist, they've failed. It's not about that. It's about the journey. Don't focus so much on achieving "the goal" and devote more attention to the trip getting there. If you make it all the way, great! If not, make sure you're having enough fun on the way that you don't feel you've wasted your time. I can't emphasize that enough.

 

[HotAzLady69]

As I have said over and over, no man's hand is going to be bigger than a baby's head. Most women - except those told by a doctor that their body frame is ill-suited to vaginal childbirth - can give birth to a baby. Therefore, most women can be fisted.

Two c-sections here.

 

[Etoile]

I could use some advice on fisting.

My gf attempted to fist my ass today (I am male) and it didn't quite work.

There wasn't any pain, its just that it seems I'm not big enough (I think she was against the bone of my pelvis).

I am curious if this is a normal thing or if there is anyway around it.

I love having my gf's hand up my ass, and want to take more of it, and any advice would be appreciated.

Thanks,

The absolute best resource for information on anal fisting is RedRight Web. Sexuality.org also has a guide to handballing. Unfortunately most information out there is for gay men, but that doesn't mean straight men and all women can't take advantage of it.

I don't know enough about handballing to tell you definitively that you were unable to take it all the way for size reasons. I've heard that's a possibility for men (and women who are fisted up the ass), but I don't know for sure. Judging by the anatomy it's possible that was your situation, especially if you were otherwise prepared (lube, communication, mental prep etc) to take it. Definitely read up on those sites, though.

 

[Etoile]

Two c-sections here.

Ah. Well, yeah, you might fit the "too-small" bill then! (Were your c-sections for size reasons? There are other reasons for c-sections, of course.) But as I said, that doesn't mean you can't try. In your case you may want to focus on why you want to be fisted, and then work on that. Is it for the feeling of fullness? I'm sure you can get pretty full without taking the whole hand! Is it for the personal connection with your partner? Make that connection...I've had fisting experiences that were very powerful even though I couldn't take the whole insertion.

 

[warrior queen]

Two c-sections here.

c-sections do not determine that your vagina is too small - rather that your pelvis was not accomodating at the time.

another excellent reference for fisting is the book 'a hand in the bush' (sorry can't remember the author!)

 

[Etoile]

c-sections do not determine that your vagina is too small - rather that your pelvis was not accomodating at the time.

another excellent reference for fisting is the book 'a hand in the bush' (sorry can't remember the author!)

That would be Deborah Addington, and her book is pretty much the only vaginal fisting book out there. One of our members knows her personally (can't remember whom at the moment) and her book has been discussed in the past. Definitely an invaluable resource.

 

[warrior queen]

That would be Deborah Addington, and her book is pretty much the only vaginal fisting book out there. One of our members knows her personally (can't remember whom at the moment) and her book has been discussed in the past. Definitely an invaluable resource.

thanx, Etoile.

absolutely a wonderfully explanatory fisting book!

(but i lent mine out - lol - what was i thinking?! - should have known it wouldn't come back!!)

 

[wicked woman]

Originally posted by Etoile
That would be Deborah Addington, and her book is pretty much the only vaginal fisting book out there. One of our members knows her personally (can't remember whom at the moment) and her book has been discussed in the past. Definitely an invaluable resource.

I think it's James that knows her...but I could be wrong.

 

[James G 5]

I'm 6'4" also I think it would take a rather roomy snatch for me to fit my hand into. No matter how I manipulated it.

Height & hand size don't have as much to do with each other as do BUILD and hand size
But according to Deb Addington, MOST females can accomodate something up to 15" in circumference....for perspective, that's my collar measurement
I doubt your clenched fist is as big around as my neck

 

[James G 5]

Kinda like anal?

Yes, but with more lube

 

[James G 5]

I think it's James that knows her...but I could be wrong.

You're not
"A Hand in the Bush", Greenery Press, by Deborah Addington
GREAT lady
Book's in print, on Amazon.com or BarnesAndNoble.com
Affordable, too
And she does classes & workshops, her schedule is at www.fistandfangs.com
Tell her I sent you, I'd love to get brownue points with her

Note (re the size thing for women, and with c-sections et al) I said MOST women
Actually, in some cases vaginal birth can be a hindrance for women, as episiotomy scar tissue can make entry difficult (scars don't stretch)

As for Etoile's comment : "A lot of women think that if they can't take the full fist, they've failed. It's not about that. It's about the journey. Don't focus so much on achieving "the goal" and devote more attention to the trip getting there. If you make it all the way, great! If not, make sure you're having enough fun on the way that you don't feel you've wasted your time. I can't emphasize that enough."
All I can say is, I love you, it's a damn shame you're a lesbian
AND that's great advice for sex IN GENERAL and LOTS of specialyt acts (such as anal), not just for fisting

 

[Etoile]

Height & hand size don't have as much to do with each other as do BUILD and hand size
But according to Deb Addington, MOST females can accomodate something up to 15" in circumference....for perspective, that's my collar measurement
I doubt your clenched fist is as big around as my neck

That's your collar measurement? That's my collar measurement!

 

[StoneTheCrow]

15"? You must be a small man.My neck is like 21" Hell my bicep is almost 15" My hands are about 5.5" across at the knuckles. I agree about the build factoring more than height but someone's appendages are usually to scale with the rest of their body. I was merely trying to say that a woman would have to be rather "large' vaginally if I could fit my hands in there. I am muscular and have worked with my hands al my life. I know this is a place for opinions but I have seen lots of pussy in my life and am looking at my hands right now and know what they would fit into.

 

[HotAzLady69]

Ah. Well, yeah, you might fit the "too-small" bill then! (Were your c-sections for size reasons? There are other reasons for c-sections, of course.) But as I said, that doesn't mean you can't try. In your case you may want to focus on why you want to be fisted, and then work on that. Is it for the feeling of fullness? I'm sure you can get pretty full without taking the whole hand! Is it for the personal connection with your partner? Make that connection...I've had fisting experiences that were very powerful even though I couldn't take the whole insertion.

One of the c-sections was for size.
As far as the wanting to try it.....well it's a curiosity thing for me right now, not something I've been thinking on strongly to try just very curious.
Maybe cuz of the fullness but it's more the situation that I like to experiance new things and new sensations.
My partner and I have an extreamly good connection and I know if I mentioned to him that I wanted to try this he'd do all he could to do it for me.
Like I stated before right now it's a curiosity thing for me.