fistin advice please

[Etoile]

You're quite welcome, sheath! Nice to have something I can be an authority about.

 

[pixiewitch]

No experience

I've never tried fisting and don't see it in my future. But just wanted to throw in some info. A good friend of mine ended up in the hospital from fisting. She said it didn't hurt (wasn't the first time) but when he pulled his hand out she was bleeding BAD. She ended up having a transfusion and had to have the tear sewn up! Doctors kept asking her if he had inserted a toy in her! Gawd how embarassing! All the nurses kept asking what they had used and they just kept saying his fingers. But I think they knew.

I'm not trying to scare anybody (I know that's stupid to say now) but I just want you all to know that it's not always safe. She never gave me all the details either. Maybe he pulled out too fast. Maybe not enough lube. She's no spring chick, but I don't know if that would have anything to do with it or not. Just please take your time with this if you do it. Patience and lube seem to be the two things I've read over and over you can't have enough of. And by all means remember that what took so long to go in isn't going to come out fast!

(hope I didn't piss anyone off with this one, if so I'll say I'm sorry now)

 

[DuckLover]

I might as well add that with enough fisting, you won't be sore. My girlfriend winds up fisting me probably 70% of the nights we have sex. I don't notice any soreness afterward. (We've been doing this for a few years now; when I was interviewed for OOB in July 2000 I mentioned that my favorite sex act was fisting!)

bbwbeauty, my recommendation for making it over the final hurdle is steady pressure. He shouldn't be trying to "punch" his way in, but rather just keep pushing until you make it.

70% of the time? Wow. That's impressive. I'm glad you enjoy it so much!

The "final hurdle" is where SG and I are. We are both very excited about seeing each other soon so we can try again. As stated before, we're not really very focused on full insertion but just on exploring the process and seeing what and how much feels good. We'd love to get to full insertion, and hopefully we will, but it's not a high priority.

Etoile, since you seem to be the local expert on the subject, what is your opinion about orgasm or not before attempting fisting? I heard both options advocated. (For fairness, please try to also reflect on your earlier experiences with fisting and let us know what, if anything has changed.)

Thanks for being so enlightening!

 

[DuckLover]

Re: No experience

I've never tried fisting and don't see it in my future. But just wanted to throw in some info. A good friend of mine ended up in the hospital from fisting. She said it didn't hurt (wasn't the first time) but when he pulled his hand out she was bleeding BAD. She ended up having a transfusion and had to have the tear sewn up! Doctors kept asking her if he had inserted a toy in her! Gawd how embarassing! All the nurses kept asking what they had used and they just kept saying his fingers. But I think they knew.

I'm not trying to scare anybody (I know that's stupid to say now) but I just want you all to know that it's not always safe. She never gave me all the details either. Maybe he pulled out too fast. Maybe not enough lube. She's no spring chick, but I don't know if that would have anything to do with it or not. Just please take your time with this if you do it. Patience and lube seem to be the two things I've read over and over you can't have enough of. And by all means remember that what took so long to go in isn't going to come out fast!

(hope I didn't piss anyone off with this one, if so I'll say I'm sorry now)

Safety warnings are always appropriate. Like all sex acts, fisting carries risk. And I agree that the risk level is certainly higher than vanilla fucking. Only you can decide what level of risk is acceptable for you.

In your friend's case, you hit on two of the likeliest reasons she was injured-- insufficient lube and too-rapid withdrawl. Those two would certainly compound each other. SG and I have found that latex gloves definitely help, and fingernail trimming and filing is a MUST before we try anything. We also use oodles of lube. As you said, "patience and lube" are the two keys. And patience means both going in and going out. In some ways vaginal fisting is like much anal play-- you're stretching the tissue out a lot and under that much strain it can be pretty sensitive.

 

[James G 5]

I'd like to add that Deborah (yes, I actually know her LOL) specifically reccomends WET Platinum for lube, kegels for the woman (so she can learn more conscious control over the muscles), and patience. She ALSO mentions that, unless a woman is abnormally small, she can take an object up to 16 INCHES in circumfrence....measure out a 16" piece of string, make a circle with it, and see how big that is.....most guys' shirt collar size is a 15-16", if that gives you an idea.
You can order her book directly from her website, www.fistandfangs.com.
And Sheath, you can always come to the Bash next year with your man, I believe she will be returning to teach classes in Erotomancy, FIsting (a hands-in demo ), and maybe a few other things.

I've got plenty of experience with fisting, maybe I can answer the question about bleeding. To back me up, I'll use quotes from Deborah Addington's wonderful book A Hand in the Bush (published by Greenery Press).

You might bleed if...

• His nails were long. Could be just a minor inside cut, which you wouldn't be able to see unless you had one of those periscope things.
• You're in the middle or near the end of your menstruation cycle.
• It's a day that ends in y.

I wouldn't worry about it too much. Sometimes I spot after fisting, sometimes not. I'm on Depo-Provera specifically because it prevents me from getting a period, so I'm pretty sure it's not that. Deborah Addington says:


As for tightness, the possibility that a woman will lose bladder control, be loose in the vagina, etc. - all myths.


Also, you don't have to have had a baby to be fisted! Anybody can be fisted by any hand - Addington recommends "patience, patience, patience, and lube, lube, lube, lube, lube."

I can probably answer more questions, both from personal experience and from this here book at my side.

 

[sheath]

And Sheath, you can always come to the Bash next year with your man, I believe she will be returning to teach classes in Erotomancy, FIsting (a hands-in demo ), and maybe a few other things.

I am ALWAYS looking for new avenues of pleasure.

And my man is seriously looking into the pain/sex fetish he has, so who knows WHAT we will try next.

S.

 

[sheath]

Re: Re: No experience

In your friend's case, you hit on two of the likeliest reasons she was injured-- insufficient lube and too-rapid withdrawl. Those two would certainly compound each other. SG and I have found that latex gloves definitely help, and fingernail trimming and filing is a MUST before we try anything. We also use oodles of lube. As you said, "patience and lube" are the two keys. And patience means both going in and going out. In some ways vaginal fisting is like much anal play-- you're stretching the tissue out a lot and under that much strain it can be pretty sensitive.

That DOES bring up another question...

Is there any way he can do damage to my bladder, or my urethra? When pushing his hand deeper, should he also push another way, such as down toward the back wall of my vagina? Is there a particular direction to apply pressure so as to lessen the chances of injury?

I hope that made sense, lol.

S.

 

[BlueSugar]

I haven't had anyone to try this with, and two fingers for me is an annoyance, but I enjoy bigger toys etc when playing, I love the full feeling. Its enough for me as of now, because when I'm with him, he fills me and I stretch and it is comforting, I just feel closer to him and fullfilled, which is from what I've read so far part of the fisting appeal... the full loved, closer together feeling.
I wish all of you safe luck !!

 

[Etoile]

70% of the time? Wow. That's impressive. I'm glad you enjoy it so much!

The "final hurdle" is where SG and I are. We are both very excited about seeing each other soon so we can try again. As stated before, we're not really very focused on full insertion but just on exploring the process and seeing what and how much feels good. We'd love to get to full insertion, and hopefully we will, but it's not a high priority.

Etoile, since you seem to be the local expert on the subject, what is your opinion about orgasm or not before attempting fisting? I heard both options advocated. (For fairness, please try to also reflect on your earlier experiences with fisting and let us know what, if anything has changed.)

Thanks for being so enlightening!

Being focused on exploring the process is exactly the right way to be. Too many couples, I think, get frustrated when the hand doesn't just pop right in, and they give up and miss out on an astonishing experience.

Whether or not a person has an orgasm first is totally individual. The physical difference is negligible, in my opinion. My earlier experiences, in this respect, are the same as my experiences now - I've never "needed" to orgasm before fisting.

And you're quite welcome! As I said, I am more than happy to answer questions and I am just tickled pink that I get to be smart about something.

 

[DuckLover]

Whether or not a person has an orgasm first is totally individual. The physical difference is negligible, in my opinion. My earlier experiences, in this respect, are the same as my experiences now - I've never "needed" to orgasm before fisting.

Yahoo! Given how much we both love it when she orgasms, it's nice to hear that I don't have to hold back if we're planning on a fisting attempt. I now have permission from Doctor Etoile to make her cum for a solid 30 minutes and THEN fill her with my fingers!!

Thanks Etoile!! From both of us!

 

[James G 5]

I am ALWAYS looking for new avenues of pleasure.

And my man is seriously looking into the pain/sex fetish he has, so who knows WHAT we will try next.

S.

well, if he brings you to Bash we can all meet & I can show him all SORTS of wonderful tricks

 

[James G 5]

Re: Re: Re: No experience

That DOES bring up another question...

Is there any way he can do damage to my bladder, or my urethra? When pushing his hand deeper, should he also push another way, such as down toward the back wall of my vagina? Is there a particular direction to apply pressure so as to lessen the chances of injury?

I hope that made sense, lol.

S.

Good question....I just skimmed the book & it's not addressed
If I can't find an answer or no one else can answer I will e-mail Deborah & ask her

 

[DuckLover]

well, if he brings you to Bash we can all meet & I can show him all SORTS of wonderful tricks

Forgive my ignorance, but what is this "Bash" you've mentioned?

 

[sheath]

Re: Re: Re: Re: No experience

Good question....I just skimmed the book & it's not addressed
If I can't find an answer or no one else can answer I will e-mail Deborah & ask her

Thanks, James.

I really want my man to do this...but I do NOT want to go to the emergency room! (To make the possibility even more frightening...my dear father works in my friendly neighborhood hospital. It would be hard enough to explain something like that to a nurse, but I might have to explain it to my DAD. )

Imagine. *shudder*

S.

 

[DuckLover]

LOL Sheath. That certainly WOULD be a disincentive to trying it! I'll be that even if there were another hospital nearby, he'd be likely to hear about it...

Consequently, take all the safety warnings here double seriously-- enough lube to fill the tub, get your man a manicure beforehand, double up the latex gloves, and go SUPER slow! Don't even THINK about trying full insertion the first time. Not even the third time! Just build towards it very very slowly. As people have mentioned, the most fulfilling part of fisting (forgive the pun) is the feeling of fullness and the trust and intimacy between partners. Getting the whole hand in really isn't all that important.

Good luck and have fun! Let us know how it goes!

 

[Etoile]

Re: Re: Re: No experience

That DOES bring up another question...

Is there any way he can do damage to my bladder, or my urethra? When pushing his hand deeper, should he also push another way, such as down toward the back wall of my vagina? Is there a particular direction to apply pressure so as to lessen the chances of injury?

I hope that made sense, lol.

S.

I have to say no. There's no way he's going to damage your bladder or your urethra. Why? They're not connected. There's plenty of tissue between them. There's no need to worry about pressure because the chances of injury of this type are basically nil. However, he should definitely wash his hands first, and using a glove is a good idea too. This is because nasty germs can get pushed into your urethra, and you might wind up with a bladder infection. But actual damage or injury? No chance, no matter what the size of his hands.

 

[sheath]

Re: Re: Re: Re: No experience

I have to say no. There's no way he's going to damage your bladder or your urethra. Why? They're not connected. There's plenty of tissue between them. There's no need to worry about pressure because the chances of injury of this type are basically nil. However, he should definitely wash his hands first, and using a glove is a good idea too. This is because nasty germs can get pushed into your urethra, and you might wind up with a bladder infection. But actual damage or injury? No chance, no matter what the size of his hands.

Thank you so much, Etoile. Again, your knowledge is sterling.

S.

 

[MissTaken]

Just adding something:

What finally got me over the hurdle to successfully being fisted was squatting.

I was lying over the edge of the bed and as we got further involved in the act, I leaned against his hand and sqatted further and further.
This goes along with the idea of spreading your legs, but I believe that in the process of squatting, you are actually opening your pelvis a bit. I am not sure, but it works for me.

Also, yes, having had an orgasm before fisting seems to be helpful as well.

 

[Gil_T2]

HI...A former G/F asked me to try fisting her as she had fantasiesed about it for years but never tried so we spent many many times trying till I had to give up & suggested that she might need a smaller hand to get the job done so suggested a lady friend of ours who we both had shared sexually on our own & in a threesome, Well she jumped at the idea because she had become fixated in doing it, we meet up with the other lady who had no trouble at all fisting her so I guess hand size is to be considered first & the ability to curl the hand (like ladies do to get bangles on) to see if it can be made as small as possible till inside.

Good luck & please let us know when you manage it & the system you use.

 

[DuckLover]

Hand-curling

My gf and I were trying fisting again this weekend and were, overall, highly successful. We managed more penetration than ever before, and we both enjoyed it immensely. We got to the point of the big joint of my thumb almost fully entering her!

(She asked be to mention that switching from Slippery Stuff to Wet Platinum made a BIG difference for her. Being silicon based, the WP didn't dry out and get sticky, which made it much more comfortable.)

My question concerns the next step. I'm convinced we will soon overcome the tightness issue, but now I'm concerned about volume. This weekend I had the distinct feeling that I had "bottomed out' in terms of depth-- I couldn't push my hand any further into her. I've heard I should curl my hand and essentially make a fist, with my thumb inside it, in order to accomodate the depth factor (and thus justify the name of the act!). However, I found it nearly impossible to do so! She didn't seem wide enough inside to allow for the curling of my fingers... Any suggestions please?!?

 

[Etoile]

Re: Hand-curling

My question concerns the next step. I'm convinced we will soon overcome the tightness issue, but now I'm concerned about volume. This weekend I had the distinct feeling that I had "bottomed out' in terms of depth-- I couldn't push my hand any further into her. I've heard I should curl my hand and essentially make a fist, with my thumb inside it, in order to accomodate the depth factor (and thus justify the name of the act!). However, I found it nearly impossible to do so! She didn't seem wide enough inside to allow for the curling of my fingers... Any suggestions please?!?

Congratulations on making it that far! As for depth, you'd be surprised how much she can stretch. Remember, she's able to accommodate a baby's head in there, and I doubt your fist is bigger than that! According to my girlfriend, you shouldn't need to physically curl your hand - she says it will happen naturally. And, again, she will stretch!

 

[DuckLover]

<bows to the master> (or is it mistress? )

Thanks for the reassurance, Etoile! Your comments are always appreciated!

 

[ho69do]

fisting

Just bend over on a chair back that is comfy and ease that fist in with enough lube and pressure it will go in, I do this in the but so I am sure it will work in the old puss,as I have did it before. On a twat just lie down on the bed on yr back and shove away. Makes me want it so bad to even talk about it .

 

[Etoile]

<bows to the master> (or is it mistress? )

Thanks for the reassurance, Etoile! Your comments are always appreciated!

You are more than welcome! How about "Wise One"?

 

[Etoile]

Re: fisting

Just bend over on a chair back that is comfy and ease that fist in with enough lube and pressure it will go in, I do this in the but so I am sure it will work in the old puss,as I have did it before. On a twat just lie down on the bed on yr back and shove away. Makes me want it so bad to even talk about it .

Do you realize that your post makes you sound terribly ignorant? While I'm sure you have plenty of experience with fisting, stating it like this in a thread where there has been much discussion of details makes you come across as crude and entirely unhelpful. Then again, you've only made three posts, so I don't expect a response to this.