First writing attempt - Yes, Kinda, No way

[Lifer01]

Hi:

I have written a story and just want to ask if, based on the story, I have any hope at all of writing an erotic story. I will post the story here, in hopes that someone will let me know that, Yes - I might have some potential... Kinda - because there is a lot left to be desired with this first attempt... or No way - Don't give up your day job. Honest opinions are needed - really. Thanks for the time. Here is the story:

Edited here - I removed the story from this forum since I posted it in the wrong place. I'll get an editor and resubmit as appropriate. Thanks for the guidance.

 

[Jenny_Jackson]

Ok... There are a couple of things.

1) Why post this here? There is a Story Feedback forum elsewhere.
2) Get an editor. The first two sentences in the story killed it. -

"Finding a person to cut your hair just they way you want it is not always so easy to do. Either they cut it too short and it looks like you could get TV reception by just closing your eyes, or they take so little off you wonder what they cut after hearing the “snip, snip, snip” of scissors in your ears for twenty minutes. "

It should read -

"Finding a person to cut your hair just the way you want it is not always so easy to do. They either cut it too short, making it look like you could get TV reception by just closing your eyes, or they take so little off you wonder what they cut after hearing the “snip, snip, snip” of scissors in your ears for twenty minutes.

 

[Vermilion]

Like Jenny said - this wasn't the best place to post this and you could really do with checking spelling and grammar, but, having read the first two paragraphs only, I've seen a helluva lot worse on Lit.

Why not do what everyone does? Either find an editor and get it checked, then post it OR just post it and see what happens. It'll be rejected if it's too poor and if it just needs tweaking then a reader will usually tell you.

FFR try Story feedback, okies?
x
V

 

[minsue]

The reason it was posted here is probably because of the description of the forum: "Have a question for the author of your favorite story? Need some help writing your own story? Ask in here." Have some compassion.

As has been said, you'd be wise to have an editor give it a once over. Best of luck!

 

[Lifer01]

I posted this here after asking where to post the story in the general forum. I looked for an appropriate forum and didn't see one that clearly said "Post your stuff here if you want a quick critique.

Thanks for the advice about finding an editor... It is hard to proof read yourself.

Can someone clue me how one finds an editor?

Yes, you guessed it, gushing from the wetness behind my ears.

 

[CeriseNoire]

I posted this here after asking where to post the story in the general forum. I looked for an appropriate forum and didn't see one that clearly said "Post your stuff here if you want a quick critique.

Thanks for the advice about finding an editor... It is hard to proof read yourself.

Can someone clue me how one finds an editor?

Yes, you guessed it, gushing from the wetness behind my ears.

You can use the Volunteer Editor contact function in your account page (on the main site) or post your request in the Editor's Forum thread (worked for me).