First Timer gets addicted

[kylewhitney]

I've been trying to get back into the habit of writing, but found I was having trouble getting my butt into the chair and doing the work. Just to get something on paper I started writing whatever filthy stuff came to mind - and didn't stop writing for 3 hours!

I only discovered this site after finishing that first "story" and now I'm hooked. I especially enjoy the immediacy of the feedback. I'd love to hear what you think of my first effort, good and bad.

"A Day With My Cock" is told from a first person present point of view and follows a twisted series of exercises a guy goes through when left alone with his cock.

Thanks in advance for taking the time to read my contribution.

http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=110357

-Kyle

 

[A7inchPhildo]

kylewhitney,
My Fortune Cookie Says; "Man with hole in pocket, feel cocky all day"

LMFAO good Humor

A bit long with the internet crap. I know that would be the truth but bored after a couple topics.
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Quote
“Sick? Yeah… I’m, ah, real sick.” You want to know how sick I am bitch? Come over here and spread your cunt for me and I’ll show you how sick I am!
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You could have separated it a bit. Took a second glance to know this was a silent thought.
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Quote
I have cum enough to keep me satisfied for a week.
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should be at least past tense


I liked the story overall from a mans perspective. It was humerous and the thoughts in the mind are too often thought and not said. I must say I found the story too unreal and a bit sadistic for any arousal. This most likely is a personal thing. With all the turns in your story I thought it read rather smooth. Here again I may just know the circumstances too well and filled in the gaps. LOL I would read another story you have to offer based on my opinion of the author of this story.

My 2 cents. Off to Canada to get some more worthless pennies...
Phildo

 

[dr_mabeuse]

Ah yes, the exciting life of a young bachelor!

I thought it was very funny, and too true (most of it) but I had to bail out when it got to the chopstick. Couldn't read that part.

We men are a bunch of sick SOB's. And now the women know: we're worse than they could imagine.

---dr.M.

 

[McKenna]

.

 

[kylewhitney]

Thanks for the feedback

I appreciate everyone taking the time to check out my first story and provide reactions.

Upon review, I agree that the internet "crap" was overdone. I will certainly be aware of spending too much time on this kind of static exposition in the future.

Thanks for the specifics McKenna! After the story was out there for a few days and I got some email feedback I realized that I was really writing this for a female audience. While I hope the guys have fun with it, I find I'm more tuned into the reactions of the women.

Anyway, I had enough requests that I posted a follow up, if anyone is interested...

http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=111466

Thanks again for the input!

-Kyle

 

[A7inchPhildo]

Anyway, I had enough requests that I posted a follow up, if anyone is interested...

You know I think you are heading down the right path. That may be the wrong one but it is good for us. Let us see where the next twist in your mind brings.

kylewhitney,

Boston no fukin wonder why you are twisted. I am original from Sutton Aka Slutton just south of wista. No more cold for this boy and no more shoveling after a nor easter. Do you listen to WAAF a good friend of mine DJs the 5 that is how I meet so many of the artists here in Fl. Ever been to mamakins that place is a story in it self. Hope to hear from ya.

Phildo

 

[pussy_lover]

Amazing story

I was amazed at how entertaining this story was. The bachelor with nothing better to do than masturbate 50 times a day is a character you should try to build on (if possible).

It comes across as a very dark tale of loneliness and, well, boredom. Very good. I can't say enough. You truly are a master of Literotica.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
"Oh God, I’m going to cum with a fucking chop stick in my cock!"
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Lookin' forward to more from you.