First time

[Guest]

The night before last I lost my virginity ansd I'm sorry to say that it was the most terrible expirience I've ever had. It started out ok and all. We spent almost an hour on forplay but about two minutes into it I saw she was sobbing so I stopped and asked her if she was ok. She got up, went to the bathroom and threw up. I felt so terrible I wasn't sure if I should have stayed (even though it was my house). When she came back we talked and she told me I was hurting her. This was a real concern to me since her last boyfriend was abusive. We have a pretty open relationship and we talk about almost everything. During forplay she was saying she wanted it rough yet at the same time she didn't wan me to hurt her. I promised her that if she told me I was hurting her to just tell me to stop, but she's afraid to since her ex used to force her and she's afraid that if she tells me to stop I'll get mad and either be rougher or hit her. I would never do that and I try to instill trust, but it's very slow going. Sometimes she flinches if she see's me make a quik movment or try to touch her (as if to block a blow). In the time I've known her she has come to trust me more but she says I really remind her of her ex, my voice she says.
Last night we made another attempt at making love and it went a whole lot better. She rode me for about five minutes and though I know she had came I came quickly after and felt really guilty becauseI didn't last that long. It just doesn't seem right to spend so much time working her up just to do something that can be clocked with an egg timer. Do any of you have any ideas on lasting longer-helping her trust me more-making her feel better when we're making love. I care about her and want her to be just as happy as me. I love her.

 

[Ms_Lilith]

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[SlyFox]

Re: First Time

Vixin is absolutely right in everything she said - and especially about the "Tantra and Internal Ejaculation" practice. I learned this technique many years ago in my first marriage. My wife simply could not have an orgasm if she knew or suspected that I had cum. As a result, I taught myself to hold ejaculating but still experience an orgasm. Over time, I learned to enjoy several orgasms in quick succession, similar to what a woman can experience - sometimes with ejaculation and sometimes without. As Vixin says, it takes a LOT of practice - but can you imagine any "practice" that could be more enjoyable.

The only thing I would like to add to what Vixin said is to always remember to be gentle - even when she wants you to "play rough". You seem to be a very sensible and sensitive guy and I wish you both the best

SlyFox

 

[Guest]

I was thinking the reason I was coming fast was because of the foreplay. Today even though I came quikly the first time, I kept up the attention on her until I was hard again. We then changed from her on top to missionary. Soon after she froze, digging her nails into my back. I just held her tight until she cam down and prayed I still had some skin on my back.
I learned alot reading the stories on this site. Thanks guys.

 

[Phil333]

I dunno have you gone down on her??She probably will feel like she is in control and you can definitly get her off. About the holding on for longer during sex, I've just started my practicing. I'm not good yet cause when I try it when I jerk off, it just feels like I'm pushing it out (cause I start too late ) Anyway, I just started and it definitly takes practice but hopefully we both can get there.

BTW - I don't do it cause I'm a quick cummer its just that I want to be able to go longer and please her ... So for people who think its dumb to practice, longer is always better no matter what.

 

[foxxxyred]

Just remember just because you have come, that doesn't mean the night, or the love making is over!

 

[CuriouslilQT]

Change Position...that reallyyyyy helps not cum as quick!

 

[Guest]

Last night was great. I came quikly the first time as always but I went down on her and boy did she like that. We made love for over two hours. When she got on top she went wild and started screaming "I've never cum so hard in my life." After that I think I'm going to need a skin graft on my back. I admit it's a real turn on to have her claw my back (it lets me know when i'm doing good) but my back is really sore. I don't want to tell her to stop because well, i love it. I tried wearing a shirt but I think that may have just pissed her off because she literaly ripped it off my back. Is there anything I can do to cause less damage?
This is really cool! I'm finally good at something that's fun!!!

 

[shynsexy]

i am really glad you had so much fun last night. it seems like you are doing everything just right for her to trust you and let go of some of her inhibitions..... hope you have more happy nights, days, nooners, lol good luck, shy ;P

 

[Guest]

I need help. Last night we were going to well, you know but she had UTI and couldn't because of the pain. I said that was ok and I understood that she was sick. She really seems to be in pain. We went to the doctors and she was given medication and I bought her some cranberry juice. Is there anything else I can do to help her get through this or to help her be as comfortable as possible?
Past boyfriends of hers have been abusive and it scares me sometimes when she thinks I would ever hurt her. Like with our first time togeather she was afraid that if she told me to stop during that I'd hit her. I'd never do that to her and I have tried to be as gentle as possible assuring her that no matter what I'd stop if she was uncomfortable. How can I help her trust me more? I love her and am as nice as I can be, but sometimes when I go to touch her it scares me when she flinches. We've talked about her past and I can understand why she flinches sometimes. I have never risen my voice or struck her and I've sworn I'd never do such a thing. Is there any thing I can do?

I just want to help make her more happy and let her know that she could trust me as much as I trust her. Can you guys/gals please give me some advise?

 

[huskie]

hopeful
You seem to be on the right tract. Just stay the sourse and don't change. Only time will make her feel better and more trusting with you. There is NO overnight solution to her past. Your doing the right thing, in the right frame of mind. Don't stop doing it or lose your patients with her.

 

[Guest]

Yes, time is the only thing that will heal hurt. It takes time to trust people, but on the other hand she has to take that jump and be willing to trust you as well.

You seem like a wonderful and sensitive chap, but please realise that if this problem doesn't go away, I would suggest that she get some counselling.

 

[Guest]

 

[Romanticstone]

Looking at the long-haul

Your girl-friend has been through what seems to have been quite a traumatic abusive relationship.
If she isn't already persuing professional counselling/support, please bring this up with her. The long-term effects of such trauma may not yet be evident, and the stress of re-living these past events over and over in her mind could be detrimental to her health, and the health of your relationship.