first time

[AngelGirl25]

No, I'm not a virgin (its been years and years)- but talking to friends about my first time I found I was in the minority of girls who actually enjoyed it... thus this thread...

Any useful advice for either virgins or someone about to bed a virgin? I figure that maybe, if either read this then they might, just might have a good time of it like it did...

My advice- well by the time he took me I was already aquiver... thus no pain (to speak of).... what advice do the rest of you have?

 

[AngelGirl25]

57 views and no replies???

???

 

[The_old_man]

When she is finally hot and wet enough; lay on your back and let her sit on it. that way she controls the penetration speed and depth.


Worked for me.

 

[Lust Engine]

Re: 57 views and no replies???

???

I'm not exactly 110% sure what you're trying to do here. I read that you're seeking advice about bedding a virgin. And then the next line, you offer your own advice! You kind of answered your own question! Perhaps you're seeking other people's experience???

 

[AngelGirl25]

sorry- i'm muddled without afternoon coffee...

I don't fit the virgin or about to bed a virgin categories... I was just thinking that perhaps there may be some out there who do fit those categories but may be too shy to post... so having this info posted might be useful to them...

The idea behind me posting was that, after speaking with friends I found I was about the only who enjoyed her first time... and I got to thinking that everyone should enjoy it... so perhaps if we generated a little discussion that may help others.... since this didn't seem to be covered on the discussion boards... damn I need more coffee...

 

[Derya]

I get it

I understand the point of your post...now for me it was a an in between thing...not so great actually physically or romance wise, but very comfortable and satisfying psychologically. I think part of the problem with so many virgins is in their inexperience they are also inexperienced with the communication side. I know I had friends who weren't comfortable even sharing with their first partner how close they had come before, uncertainties, emotional issues etc. and that's from a little bit older ladies. That's not even considering younger girls who are maybe just in the heat of passion or peer pressure or lack of knowledge arena. I always figure good sex is 1/3 mind, 1/3 physical, and 1/3 communication. So without good communication it's gonna be kind lacking.

 

[noobster]

your first time?

I am still "virgin" (Is that the word for boys, too ?) and I am 18 now and really want to... Just haven´t found the right girl yet...or maybe she hasn´t found me...

Is there anything special that I have to know about when I have my first time?
When did you have your first experiences?

 

[58KCchief]

My 2 cents is that make certain its comfortable for her. Myself, it
was alot of oral before hand and mild fingering. Make certain not
to "insert" too fast. Ease it along cause once it gets good, its gets damn good. And you both will know it...must've worked somewher cause I have been married to her for 13 years now. Or
she just aint found better yet!

 

[Derya]

Re: your first time?

I am still "virgin" (Is that the word for boys, too ?) and I am 18 now and really want to... Just haven´t found the right girl yet...or maybe she hasn´t found me...

Is there anything special that I have to know about when I have my first time?
When did you have your first experiences?

Yeah guys who haven't had sex are virgins too . I can't really speak for the male's point of view as to what makes the event more special/incredible, but I really suggest again talking about it (the fact that one or both of your are virgins) before getting to it. Agreed also that there should be lots of foreplay, and try to be in a setting that allows for relaxation, comfort and easing inhibitions.....a lot of psychological worries can get in the way first times (am I good, am I what they want, am I better than prior lovers, can they sense my inexperience, what am I gonna feel like later, yada, yada, yada)...in other words try not put yourself in a place and time that is pressured when you're having sex for the first time; try to avoid the kind situation where you may get interrupted or are worried about hurrying, like if you don't hurry up and get it now you won't get the chance.

Of course the best factor for making a first time memorable is to have real caring about your partner. That way you are already really comfortable and trusting with one another, you can laugh if you want (probably should sex is fun) and if the event isn't so perfect or meeting with expectations you know that that one event is not going to change your relationship and you have the benefit of lots of practice to come in future (get the word pun?)

 

[sheath]

Advice for the actual act of taking a virgin...

Let HER choose to take every step. Every little thing, every little new decision, it must be hers. The same thing would go for a guy, I'm sure. Be absolutely certain of one level before moving along to the next.

My first time was with a man who was much older than me, and quite experienced. He let me lead...the entire time. I didn't sleep with him for six months, and he never pressured me, not once. It took three or four hours that night before I was ready to go 'all the way', but he was incredibly patient. Every time he touched me, he asked me first. He moved slowly and gently. By the time he actually entered me, I was in tears of pleasure and begging for it. Yes, it hurt a little, but he had warned me beforehand. I knew what to expect from him. The experience was absolutely comfortable and beautiful, and one of the best memories of my life.

The fact that he never pushed, even when I could see it was difficult for him to hold back, solidified my trust. And that was the key, to let me build the trust at my own pace.

 

[BirdsWife]

I'm so jealous of all you who had a pleasantly memorable first time.

My first time was very painful, embarrassing and done for all the wrong reasons. Soooo...here's what not to do:

Don't do it in the back seat of a car parked behind a church.
Don't do it while under the influence of drugs or alcohol.
Don't do it because all of your friends already have.


BirdsWife

 

[DuckLover]

A male perspective...

The trust and timing mentioned above were major keys to a good experience for me. My partner was not a virgin, and, as with Sheath's partner, allowed me to control the pace. I knew she wanted it, and we had discussed many times. One night I just decided I was ready and when I went into the bedroom we started making out and then I asked her where the condoms were. (I knew she had some in the room.) It was a great experience and she was a great first partner.

As for advice:
1) Wait for a partner you really care about. Doing so will make every aspect (physical, emotional, psychological) much better.
2) Choose a time/place that will be comfortable and unpressured. The backseat of a car, or while your roomate is out shopping are not recommended.
3) Try to ignore performance anxiety. You're not going to be Casanova the first time; accept that now and don't put yourself under that pressure. Dr. Ruth pointed out that it's GOOD thing your first time isn't the best-- by definition you'd only get worse from there!
4) Remember sex should be fun! Smile! Breathe! It's ok to laugh when you can't get it in (or slip out). Bodies having sex can make some funny noises, laughing at them is ok too. <shlorp, shlorp>
5) Despite the raging hormones and excitement and desire, don't forget to be safe. Take the extra moment to put on a condom.

The above tips are exclusive of whether your partner is experienced or not. There is a lot of good advice here and on similar threads (run a search for them) about how to make the first time better for a virgin female.

Have fun!

 

[sheath]

Re: A male perspective...

The trust and timing mentioned above were major keys to a good experience for me. My partner was not a virgin, and, as with Sheath's partner, allowed me to control the pace. I knew she wanted it, and we had discussed many times. One night I just decided I was ready and when I went into the bedroom we started making out and then I asked her where the condoms were. (I knew she had some in the room.) It was a great experience and she was a great first partner.

As for advice:
1) Wait for a partner you really care about. Doing so will make every aspect (physical, emotional, psychological) much better.
2) Choose a time/place that will be comfortable and unpressured. The backseat of a car, or while your roomate is out shopping are not recommended.
3) Try to ignore performance anxiety. You're not going to be Casanova the first time; accept that now and don't put yourself under that pressure. Dr. Ruth pointed out that it's GOOD thing your first time isn't the best-- by definition you'd only get worse from there!
4) Remember sex should be fun! Smile! Breathe! It's ok to laugh when you can't get it in (or slip out). Bodies having sex can make some funny noises, laughing at them is ok too. <shlorp, shlorp>
5) Despite the raging hormones and excitement and desire, don't forget to be safe. Take the extra moment to put on a condom.

The above tips are exclusive of whether your partner is experienced or not. There is a lot of good advice here and on similar threads (run a search for them) about how to make the first time better for a virgin female.

Have fun!

VERY good advice, DuckLover.

S.

 

[dollface007]

I think another important part of enjoying your first time is knowing that you are properly using a reliable contraceptive. I made my boyfriend wait a long time...he was very sweet about it. During that waiting period, i went on birth control pills. It just so happens that my university (where i got the prescription) required all new bc pill users to take a class in contraception. It took only a couple hours, was NOT embarrassing like i thought it was going to be, was actually sort of fun, and really enlightening. Anyways, by the time i was really ready, i was pretty confident in my ability to prevent pregnancy and that made it all the better. I think whatever method a woman decides to use, she should at least get a pelvic exam and talk to a doctor or planned parenthood counselor about it first. Consider going as a couple also. It sounds very unromantic, but it's responsible, and it actually leads to less fear and more romance in the bedroom.

 

[Derya]

[It sounds very unromantic, but it's responsible, and it actually leads to less fear and more romance in the bedroom.



You are so right! What wonderfully good sense and responsibility....if everyone approached sex with the responsibility it deserves there'd be so many less heartaches and headaches and a universe of good fun and pleasure. Good, good advice and suggestions...having been a few years removed from the land of virginity myself I kind of took contraceptive responsibility for granted when posting my thoughts...but in the case of first encounters it is all new territory.

 

[JudyWithAFlower]

The first time

Guys, be very patient and gentle if it is her first time. Don't rush, take your time. Make sure you have plenty of KY jelly on hand. Rub her clit very gently with lubricant until she has a climax, then move your fingers to her opening, and very gently start out with one finger, make sure your finger gets to her G spot or as close as possible so she feels good. Remember to keep adding lubricant so keep it moist and slick. Every once in a while, move your finger out a little to massage her opening. This helps the opening to stretch out a little. Don't rush. As time goes by, add a finger progressing up to three fingers, but make sure that you keep massaging the opening. Do not force the opening to stretch, because it does hurt a gal if it is her first time. You want to make her first time as enjoyable as you can. After you have gotten up to three fingers without her being in pain, then you can insert your penis on just the head, remembering to add lubricant. As time goes by, progress an inch at a time. take at least 5 to 10 minutes on each inch. Don't forget the lubricant. The more slimy the better. Once you have progressed to at least four inches, then put it in all the way.....remember slowly.....don't ram it. I know that you guys will get frustrated and want to fulfill your own desires....but you have to remember that it is going to hurt her....it always does the first time. Make sure you hold her tight and kiss her a lot when you have progressed to the penis insertion. Remember, be gentle...once you have progressed to the penis insertion, along with being gentle, keep reminding her that YOU know that it is hurting her, and it will only hurt the first time. I hope this helps.