first time wirter witing first time story

[stealthgundam]

i am stealthgundam, and i am writing my first work. the process is slow going, and i for someone to proof read my first chapter and tell me what i can do to improve it. its not quite done, but i feel something is missing/wrong. i am not sure if it is an omission, or it is my reading it over and over. thank you for your time, and i look forward to hearing from you.

 

[roomfor1more]

What type of story is it? Can you provide a brief summary of it? How long is it? Do you have any idea on the number of chapters you are planning to write?

 

[stealthgundam]

it will be a fairly long story broken up in to chapters, i am not sure how many right now. its being written by the main character, who is looking back at his experiences. i kind of want to mix his past with his present life, but i don't want it to be confusing, so i think i may save that for later chapters. as for a summary, Carlos is the main character, hes 22, and has had a traumatic past few months, so he starts writing where it all began, his first time with his first love Rebecca.