..First time dominate?

[SouthernGirl11]

The guy I'm dating has a fantasy of being handcuffed and dominated.. but I don't know the extent. See, I really like this guy.. so I haven't had sex with him. haha. We've been seeing each other for two months and he's only seen my chest. I have gave him oral a few times but it stops there.

I want to dominate him, but I don't want to have sex with him or be too extreme. I don't know what to do.. though. We don't discuss sex too much because we don't have it! haha.

My Q is: How do I give my man a memorable experience without penetration or scaring him off?

Any tips or techniques would be appreciated. =D

 

[Bandit58]

One of the foundations of dominant/submissive play is communication, so I'm afraid you might just have to sit down with him and talk about what his fantasies are and what he'd really like you to do to him

There's lots you can do without penetration - tie him up and blindfold him and use different things to touch him all over (a feather is excellent), tease him, if your hair is long brush it over his body. Tell him he's not allowed to cum under any circumstances You can also remove the blindfold and torment him by letting him see you being suggestive and sexy but not be able to touch you If he's into pain maybe spank him with your hand or a paddle. Make sure you have safewords in place for that though, we use yellow for "slow down" and red for STOP.

 

[papilllon]

BDSM section

Just an idea... Post your message in the bdsm section, you'll get many advices from people who practice bdsm, doms and subs alike.

 

[SubNebGuy]

why aren't you having sex yet? seriously, 2 months is plenty long for a sexual relationship to develop, unless you're 'waiting til you get married'...but since you didn't state that, I'm guessing that's not the reason...hence my confusion.

I do agree the bdsm section members might have better ideas on how to get started.
I'm just not sure you should start your sexual relationship by jumping head first into handcuffs and whips. That's kinda...deep....

I'm married, but it took me and my wife several years of dating before we got into anal play for either of us...and married almost 3 years before she started playing the domme.

 

[Norajane]

why aren't you having sex yet? seriously, 2 months is plenty long for a sexual relationship to develop, unless you're 'waiting til you get married'...but since you didn't state that, I'm guessing that's not the reason...hence my confusion.

I do agree the bdsm section members might have better ideas on how to get started.
I'm just not sure you should start your sexual relationship by jumping head first into handcuffs and whips. That's kinda...deep....

I'm married, but it took me and my wife several years of dating before we got into anal play for either of us...and married almost 3 years before she started playing the domme.

Waiting to have sex until she's comfortable in the relationship can take longer than two months.

Other than that, I think you're totally right...it takes time to understand each other's turn ons and develop the kind of trust you need to dive into more hardcore domination.

But, for something simple, she can cuff him to the bed, tease him and touch him endlessly without allowing him to come, and then straddle his face until he licks her to orgasm. Voila - no penetration required!

 

[SubNebGuy]

Ok, yer right, I was a little over the top. I'm not a whore or a prude...2 months just seemed like enough time to get to know someone/start to care enough to wanna have sex, unless there were other circumstances.

But really, my point was - probably best to have a little vanilla sex first, maybe a blindfold and some spanking, before jumping into restraints, paddles, ball gags, et al.

and I think we got that point across

 

[papilllon]

Talk with him

The guy I'm dating has a fantasy of being handcuffed and dominated.. but I don't know the extent. See, I really like this guy.. so I haven't had sex with him. haha. We've been seeing each other for two months and he's only seen my chest. I have gave him oral a few times but it stops there.

I want to dominate him, but I don't want to have sex with him or be too extreme. I don't know what to do.. though. We don't discuss sex too much because we don't have it! haha.

My Q is: How do I give my man a memorable experience without penetration or scaring him off?

Any tips or techniques would be appreciated. =D

I guess the first thing you should do is really talk with him. He's the one who can explain you better what he wants. I know talking about sex can be ackward if you're a bit shy but if you're ready to have any kind of sexual encounter with your partner (with or without penetration), you must also be ready to talk about these things. There is no magic way to read your partner's mind... Communication is essential when you're intimate with someone, especially if you're going towards a D/S relationship.

papillon