First time doing this

[ValhalC]

Hi everyone.

I love to write and create, run fantasy RPGs, etc.

I've developed a rather rich fantasy world of my own creation, and decided to delve into possible erotic implications of fantasy.

This is my first time doing this. In the story an airship crewman runs 'afoul' (or so he believes) of a female Satyr in the uncharted wilderlands.

It's got some pretty strange stuff, probably not for everyone, but I'd like feedback. If it's well received, I'd like to make it an ongoing series.

http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=440214

Thanks in advance!

 

[Typo Fu Master]

Not too shabby. It's not my normal depraved stuff, but I found the plot interesting and at the end I was ready to read more. You've got enough talent to go somewhere with this. I say go for it. I've read a lot worse than this on here.

 

[SwiverGuy]

Very good first effort

Yours is the first nonhuman story I've read on this site, and I think it's a very good first effort. I'm certainly keen to see what happens next!

I only have a couple of comments.

First, I would suggest making less use of the ellipsis marks (...). They have a specific purpose, and should be used with care. If you want more info, see
http://www.grammarbook.com/punctuation/ellipse.asp

Second there are a few typos and missing words in your story. This tends to disrupt the reader's flow and therefore enjoyment of your story. I'm a newbie myself, and I've found that reading my story out loud when I'm revising it helps immensely when it comes to picking up errors and figuring out where the punctuation should go.

As I say, I enjoyed your story and am looking forward to the next installment.

Cheers,
SwiverGuy

 

[Jenny_Jackson]

Your plot was pretty good. Your story pretty well told. But stop using the ellipsis. You don't use it correctly, you over use it and you use it in places where it is inappropriate.

 

[ValhalC]

Thanks for the feedback! Appreciate it.