First time BDSM virgin-curious

[SpiritedMe]

So I am in my early 30's with young kids and a marriage that is ending and too many things about myself that I don't know. Sounds like drama I know I'm tired of being afraid and embarrassed of my sexual side though and I'm exhausted with repressing myself just because my husband is not a very sexual person. I would say I am average looking, blond hair blue eyes, could lose 20 lbs but have turned down many advances from men over the years to be faithful but now I feel so repressed I'm losing my mind. My husband and I realize we are two very different people, even outside of any of the sexual stuff. I am very adventurous, adrenaline seeking, fun, I love to dance, and play poker, and camp, and fish, and box, and he plays video games in his free time and doesn't know what to do in the bedroom. The bedroom is the one place I need to let go of control and want someone to lead me and take control and I crave the submission and trust that comes along with that. I really know nothing of the lifestyle though outside of what I have read I books and don't know where to go from here. I want to learn more about it and have someone I could talk to about it. I feel super alone right now in this because its not something my friends or anyone knows about. I just need to explore it a bit and see if its for me. I don't even know if this is the place to try to find that stuff out but I'm giving it a shot. I'm pretty open with talking and feel vulnerable enough right now that I just need to hear its ok to have these desires . I also want to find out what's around my area as far as clubs and so forth. The idea of going to one is really appealing to me and so is the idea of being tought how to be a sub....but a really hot Dom thanks guys

 

[Monkmanio]

Hi!

This is my first post

Is it domination you are after, or is your sex life not all it could be?

I kinda think you are after the domination thing, but reading your post I sort of feel that maybe there is just a need for closeness and intimacy.

Tell me if I am wrong!

 

[Monkmanio]

PS - I am a man.

Not saying that makes any difference, but just in case you are picturing the reply!

 

[SpiritedMe]

I think I'm after both I like the thought of being dominated and giving up control and I also have never had a truely fantastic sex partner....one that really knew what they were doing with a woman's body.

 

[Stella_Omega]

it probably wouldn't hurt for you to read the essay in my sig.
And welcome!

 

[fallenangel2809]

first timer thats curious as well.. i'm just not sure where to go from here

 

[JustaSCOUNDREL]

first timer thats curious as well.. i'm just not sure where to go from here

I would suggest you take a look at Stella's recommendation in her post just above yours as a start. Read the posts and responses, read and learn. You should find the posters who you like and respect what they have to say.

Questions are welcome, but please read and learn for a little while first.

Mike

 

[leighannste17]

It takes time to find yourself with BDSM. For a long time I thought I was submissive sexually. Maybe in my deep dark dirty mind somewhere, I don't mind switching with a guy to spice things up. But full on submissive takes a lot of work and patience.

If your the kind of woman that is picky with men, but your scared to show it you might have a dominant side as well you might want to explore. I have both traits in me, I won't lie, but my desire to submit kindof fizzled once I realized the pain levels it takes and how dried out I get when I let these guys take over.

I tried a younger man once, he was flexible, and full of energy, but stupid as hell.

I tried an older man and as luck would have it. 52 doesn't mean you know what your doing at all.

So over time I learned that I love calling the shots.