First time anal

[chinalady]

Hi there. I'm new to this board and would like your input. My fiancee and I have decided to have anal sex. How did it feel the first time? How different does it feel from having vaginal sex? I guess I'm a little nervous. My fiancee's my first, and it really hurt me the first time we did it. Not that he was rough with me, but I was also extremely nervous and tense when we had sex the first time. I bled for days, but of course eventually I got use to it...and couldn't get enough it.
But the decision to have anal sex was both ours. He just hapeen to be playing with mine one night, and I got so aroused that I wanted him to do me anally. And I still do.
So how did it feel really? Any advice is also welcome. Thanks.

 

[Hisbabydoll26]

Take it slow and then take it away

Hi there. I'm new to this board and would like your input. My fiancee and I have decided to have anal sex. How did it feel the first time? How different does it feel from having vaginal sex? I guess I'm a little nervous. My fiancee's my first, and it really hurt me the first time we did it. Not that he was rough with me, but I was also extremely nervous and tense when we had sex the first time. I bled for days, but of course eventually I got use to it...and couldn't get enough it.
But the decision to have anal sex was both ours. He just hapeen to be playing with mine one night, and I got so aroused that I wanted him to do me anally. And I still do.
So how did it feel really? Any advice is also welcome. Thanks.

Lube + Love = a great time. Seriously take is slow. You can let him lead but with us I usually end up setting the pace. Once we get past the introduction I usually take the reins and he has to try to keep up. It can feel amazing as long as you are prepared. I personally like some rimming first and need to be excited not something to just do at the drop of a hat. Now that we are on the subject hubby might get lucky back there tonight. lol Good luck!

 

[Hisbabydoll26]

Lube + Love = a great time. Seriously take is slow. You can let him lead but with us I usually end up setting the pace. Once we get past the introduction I usually take the reins and he has to try to keep up. It can feel amazing as long as you are prepared. I personally like some rimming first and need to be excited not something to just do at the drop of a hat. Now that we are on the subject hubby might get lucky back there tonight. lol Good luck!

almost forgot if you search the forums there is a lot of good advice on not only the physical but emotional side of this kind of fun. Some of the forums made me feel more normal about my true enjoyment of this.

 

[chinalady]

almost forgot if you search the forums there is a lot of good advice on not only the physical but emotional side of this kind of fun. Some of the forums made me feel more normal about my true enjoyment of this.

Thanks! Is there a lube that you would recommend? Are the ones sold over the counter ok to use?

 

[JamesSD]

So how did it feel really? Any advice is also welcome. Thanks.

I'd start with fingers, and wait til you're comfortable with them before you even try anything bigger.

You may want to try using a dildo on yourself, in private. Relaxing is key.

Oh, and Lube. Lots and lots of lube. There's almost no thing as too much.

 

[Hisbabydoll26]

Thanks! Is there a lube that you would recommend? Are the ones sold over the counter ok to use?

Hm we have used just plain KY, I didn't like the kind that is supposed to have that warming feeling. If I am excited enough that is okay too but not as comfortable. Also be careful because I have read that there is a danger to the guy if you are not as clean as possible. I dont' mean to say you wouldn't be but I have heard it is smarter to use a condom (we don't do this but should) to make sure he doesn't ever get an infection.

 

[Menelaus]

rule 1, forget what you see in pron.

but I was also extremely nervous and tense when we had sex the first time

if you're in this mood when you try anal, you're really not going to enjoy it at all.

If you've tried some play and want to take it further then great. Honestly, take your time, either let him play with you or maybe "69" on your side, a reverse spoon if you will, you've got something to play with and he can also give some attention to the rest of you while he, hopefully, gets everything ready. If you can't take two of his fingers comfortably, you aren't going to like him trying to push his cock in you. If you've got a toy, put a condom on it and try that as well.

Use lube, lots of lube, when you think there's too much, add some more because, honestly, you can't have too much of the stuff.

You're the one taking him. Go at your pace, if he starts to get all porn star on you, try putting a finger up him and see how he likes something a lot smaller shoved up there You might find doggy style is easiest or you're on top, once he's in position back onto him and/or hold him at a length you're comfortable with.

Did I mention Lube?

Don't be afraid to tell him to stop or to pull out. He's your Boyfriend, at the very least he should respect you enough to want you to enjoy it enough to want to do it again, not to mention not hurt you to begin with.

When he's going in (or you're moving on to him) push like you're going to the toilet

When he's in, make him stay there and get used to the feeling for a bit, see rule 1. Jackhammering at this point is a no no, if at all. When you're ready get him to SLOWLY pull out, how far at this point is up to you.

He should wear a condom, see rule 1 again. (and absolutely if you decide, for whatever reason, to abandon it and go for the good old instead. There's bacteria that wont do either of you any good to consider)

An Enema is option but if you haven't fairly recently, go to the toilet. While he's using his fingers he'll know if there's anything up there that needs getting rid of and the lube will help(sorry, but it has to be said).

In summary:

Go to the toilet firt
Slow and steady wins the race
Lube, lube, lube
YOU are in control here, the second it is uncomfortable stop, make him pull out/back a bit/hold it, but just get used to it. If you take it slow you can anticipate when it's uncomfortable and avoid it hurting.
Lube
Condoms

As for the difference in sensation, I've no idea. And if it's any consolation I've still to convince my current partner to try it, but I wish I knew 10 years ago what I know now.

 

[TBKahuna123]

First off, you should get your man to come here and read some of this great info. I think it is extremely important that the guy have the knowledge of what to do or it's not going to be a great experience. The good knews is this is easy, all he has to do is be sensitive to your pleasure.

Everything has already been said here, and the key to enjoyable anal sex is simplicity. Take it slow and gentle. There's plenty of time to start pounding away like crazy AFTER you've gotten used to the sensations. I'm not talking minutes here, I'm tlaking multiple sessions. I'd also personally suggest that you spend some time just playing - no full on anal sex. This will help you work up to the size of his penis using fingers, toys, etc.

LOTS OF LUBE & GO SLOW! That's the key to enjoying it.

 

[The Gimp]

If you're looking to incorporate anal play into your sex life anal sex should be more of an end goal than a starting point. Get a butt plug, a string of anal beads and lots of lube. If you like the way those feel then try anal sex. You're less likely to repeat the physical trauma of losing your virginity if you take it slow.

 

[FoxxyGypsy]

Whenever we do it, i make sure to consciously relax those rear muscles because if you tense up there's no way that he'll succeed.

Everyone's posted great advice and i'm only repeating it but...


Go SLOW

Lots of LUBE

and YOU SET THE PACE until it feels comfortable, because if you're in control of the movement and the moment then you'll be less likely to tense up even with a trusted partner.

and most important of all.....

HAVE FUN!

 

[Eilan]

First of all, welcome to Lit, chinalady.

I've gotta second what's been said about being nervous. You won't enjoy the experience at all if you're too tense. Your nervousness is also understandable.

Perhaps, as The Gimp said, you should start with a finger or toys and work your way up.

Not to detract from the good advice that you've been given already, but The Blank Manual is an excellent place to look for answers to this question and lot of other questions that you might have.

Good luck to you both.

 

[Emerald Eyed]

Ive noticed with anal that in order to be comfortable you need to bear down a little, like you are passing gas. this will open that muscle up a bit.

Lube lube lube.

 

[CorsetLvr]

All above is good advice.

An orgasm before starting the anal play will help you relax.

 

[TBKahuna123]

If you're looking to incorporate anal play into your sex life anal sex should be more of an end goal than a starting point. Get a butt plug, a string of anal beads and lots of lube. If you like the way those feel then try anal sex. You're less likely to repeat the physical trauma of losing your virginity if you take it slow.

Leave it to the Gimp to be the voice of reason! I love what you said about anal sex being the goal, not the starting point. Exactly what I was trying to say.

 

[Halo_n_horns]

Anal sex always starts with the comfort levels of the person receiving. Go here to add some comfort to your play: https://forum.literotica.com/showthread.php?t=327313

Then go to the Blank Manual for all the other fun stuff.

 

[Baskin Robbins]

Give her to yourself first!!!

Let her fuck you first!... Play with yourself first... then get her to finger you then fuck you!!

She will know more about your body!!!

 

[CorsetLvr]

Back to the lube.

KY is good, but I prefer something a little "wetter" for anal such as Astroglide. Stay away from products such as Analeeze that contain a de-sensitizing chemical. That sorta defeats the purpose in my opinion.

 

[gottohaveit]

the butt

start out with a small butt plug......work your way up from there

 

[Halo_n_horns]

Back to the lube.

KY is good, but I prefer something a little "wetter" for anal such as Astroglide. Stay away from products such as Analeeze that contain a de-sensitizing chemical. That sorta defeats the purpose in my opinion.

Good call. If you don't get to know your own body, how can you enjoy it?

 

[chinalady]

Thank you.

Thanks, everyone for the great advice. Since this is all new to me, I have expressed my nervousness to my boyfriend, and he says he won't rush me. Today he tried to use his fingers to play with it, and I relaxed so he was able penetrate me a bit further. It felt wonderful. We're going to take it one step at a time...or at least until I get use to the feeling...and be ready for the big event. LOL!

Chinalady

 

[chinalady]

First off, you should get your man to come here and read some of this great info. I think it is extremely important that the guy have the knowledge of what to do or it's not going to be a great experience. The good knews is this is easy, all he has to do is be sensitive to your pleasure.

LOL! You're absolutely right, TBK! I came from a very conservative family so talking about sex was an absolute no-no. I couldn't ask anyone about sex. Before I decided that my guy was THE ONE, I did lots and lots of research about having sex, which was how I stumbled upon this site. I mentioned this to my boyfriend, but I didn't exactly give the name of this site when he asked me. I was a little embarrassed since it was all very new to me. This time, however, I'm sure things will be different.

 

[Eilan]

We're going to take it one step at a time...or at least until I get use to the feeling...and be ready for the big event. LOL!

Sounds like you're on the right track.

Good luck.

 

[Kinksville]

Good luck!

It's a good sign that you're enjoying the fingers back there

That means that it's more a matter of time and patience than anything else. One thing, make sure that some of whatever lube you guys use gets INSIDE your ass.

If you just spread it on a finger then it tends to get squeezed off as the finger slides in. So what you usually have to do is coat the outer part of the anus, put on the finger, slowly penetrate and then just wait while your ass gets used to it.

Then when having the finger there is comfortable/arousing you should remove it, relube and insert it again, trying to make sure that the lube gets inside where it's going to do some good.

Thick lubes that stay where you put them are better for anal from my experience. Silicone lubes are nice, you want something that is slippery and STAYS slippery.

One tip, while you are still playing with fingers, get some polyurethane gloves from Home Despot or Lowes and have your fiancee use those. Also make sure he clips his nails. Having the gloves on makes his fingers smoother and more slippery.

 

[TBKahuna123]

One tip, while you are still playing with fingers, get some polyurethane gloves from Home Despot or Lowes and have your fiancee use those. Also make sure he clips his nails. Having the gloves on makes his fingers smoother and more slippery.

There might be some god advice here, but I'd get the gloves from a drug store. The kind of gloves you get for staining and such at Lowes are cheaper, but they also are NOT sterile. That would concern me a bit for "internal" use.

 

[Eilan]

Home Despot

I'm sorry for pointing that out if it's a typo, but, damn, that's funny!