First submission, requesting feedback

[AbbyGrace]

It's a non-consent story. I know that's not to everyone's tastes - but if you like that category I'd appreciate if you give it a read and let me know what you think!

http://www.literotica.com/s/into-the-woods-4

 

[kromen]

Not bad for a first submission. My only complaint is the chapter headings. The whole story would be considered a chapter, in my opinion. Keep writing, and welcome to Literotica.

 

[Angellica1612]

Overall, I enjoyed the story. There were a few issues with tense and grammar/spelling. It's always worth the time to run your story through a spell/grammar checker. Errors take the reader out of the story. The ending made me smile - the arrival of a rescuer was unexpected until he went back in. Then, the ending was a forgone conclusion, but it was fitting for the genre.

 

[meonline]

I thought it read quite well, and the ending was an interesting twist, but as Angellica mentioned fitting for the genre.

Keep writing, your first effort was pretty good.

 

[merryweather]

Not bad my dear, for a first submission. I did get a bit distracted with the chapters in the body of the story, but keep writing you're talented.

 

[TheOlderGuy]

I thought it bold and well done.

 

[biziwen]

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San Francisco Asian Escorts

 

[AbbyGrace]

Thanks all for your comments and voting on the story. I'll take your comments to heart with my next submission.

The chapter headings I agree took away from the flow of the piece. I write in Liquid Story Binder and I'm a plotter so each scene has its own section, so when I built the manuscript I didn't uncheck the box to retain chapter titles. Next time I'll remove them and add them in manually if different chapters are actually needed.

I appreciate all of your comments and for you all taking the time to read my submission

<3
Abby