First Story

[emily_hughs]

Hello everybody.

Just got my first story submited, and another waiting approval. I've written about five so far, but I'm keeping hold of some of those for now. ;-

My first one, entitled Birthday Celebration, is at http://english.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=225202

I have an account on Yahoo! Messenger, emily_hughs_21. If anyone would like to see stories that I haven't posted here, contact me through there and I will send them to you.

Feedback on all stories would be greatly appreciated.

Many thanks,

Emily Hughs

 

[kbate]

I have to comment that I love the paragraph describing the mystery lesbian, and the manner in which you settle the I AM NOT TELLING AN UNDERAGE TALE issue. Cute and well done.

Little to bitch about in your copy, some clunky lines in places and a few word choices I did not like, but it is quite literate and I see no point in nitpicking.

The ending appeared as a door slamming shut on her entire virginal experience. The final paragraph moved from "last half hour" to "years ago" in fewer words than it takes to complain *smile* about it. I would perfer the years ago line to just be chopped, leaving the story open for additional exploration in lesbianism, bdsm or mystery sex..