First Story

[Crimson Knight]

I've just written my first story (more for personal enjoyment than anything), and was hoping to find some advice on potential critics. I would like to have one or more persons read it before it is posted to provide honest, thoughtful opinions. I think it is fine from a spelling/grammar perspective; what I am most interested in is someone who could provide feedback on content, writing style, flow, ect. I tend to be a pretty good technical writer without too much experience in the literary department. If anyone has suggestions on possible critics or would be kind enough to volunteer, please e-mail me.
Thanks

 

[Monazwx]

Lit. has a volunteer editor program if you don't get responses as quickly as you expect from this thread.

 

[Weird Harold]

Lit. has a volunteer editor program if you don't get responses as quickly as you expect from this thread.

There are a couple of people whomight help on this thread: http://www.literotica.com/forum/showthread.php?s=&threadid=143169