First Story Feedback

[Daddys_Touch]

Hi, I hate to fish but my first story has just been approved and I'd love any feedback before I get to writing the following chapters/other stories.

(This story is BDSM themed and does contain consensual violence, so if you've got a problem with that: don't read. If not: please do!)

http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=416987&page=1

Thanks for looking