First Play Party! How about you?

[sphynx's dragon]

Well I just got back from being taken to my first play party! I must say I learned alot from watching scenes and from talking to more experienced individuals. I gather also that my Lady learned alot as well, especially from the slightly manical gleam in Her eyes. <shiver> Guess I'l find out more abou that as time goes on!

 

[Sir_Winston54]

Well I just got back from being taken to my first play party! I must say I learned alot from watching scenes and from talking to more experienced individuals. I gather also that my Lady learned alot as well, especially from the slightly manical gleam in Her eyes. <shiver> Guess I'l find out more abou that as time goes on!

:: Thinking back to my first play party :: Ye gods and little fishes, that was a loooong time ago!

We went... with me being the reserved type until I have made acquaintance with a reasonable percentage of a group, we had agreed to just watch and mingle with the more-experienced folk. At first, we stayed together; after a little while, though, we each moved to small groups where we already knew one or two of the members - me to the PYL "side," her to the pyls. At various times, we reconnected briefly, then went our separate ways again. It was ... interesting.

Being the voyeur that is so much a part of my personality, I watched a number of sessions in the dungeon (which was upstairs, lol) with, I think, almost every possible combination: M/f, F/m, M/m, F/f, M/F/f, F/F/m, M/M/f, F/F/f, F/f/f. I don't recall any M/M/m or PYL/pyl/pyl of any mix - that night. About 60% of the time, though, I spent listening to and talking with others, both PYL and pyl, on the smoking patio (no smoking indoors), sometimes about BDSM - relationships, techniques, toys, etc. - but more about everything from politics to the best way to restore a '63 Mercury Comet and a '57 porthole T-Bird.

When we got home, I wore her ass out, lol... it's a good memory. Thanks for bringing it up.

 

[laurel-marie]

<sighs deeply>
I have never gone to one, but I really, really, really want to go to one.

 

[graceanne]

I haven't gone and I don't intend to. Frankly, I'm a very private person, and I think that 'play' and sex are private things that should be kept between a couple, and not put on display for everyone to see.

I am interested in going to a munch, though. One in a nice public place, where we can meet other people like us.

 

[sphynx's dragon]

:: Thinking back to my first play party :: Ye gods and little fishes, that was a loooong time ago!

We went... with me being the reserved type until I have made acquaintance with a reasonable percentage of a group, we had agreed to just watch and mingle with the more-experienced folk. At first, we stayed together; after a little while, though, we each moved to small groups where we already knew one or two of the members - me to the PYL "side," her to the pyls. At various times, we reconnected briefly, then went our separate ways again. It was ... interesting.

Being the voyeur that is so much a part of my personality, I watched a number of sessions in the dungeon (which was upstairs, lol) with, I think, almost every possible combination: M/f, F/m, M/m, F/f, M/F/f, F/F/m, M/M/f, F/F/f, F/f/f. I don't recall any M/M/m or PYL/pyl/pyl of any mix - that night. About 60% of the time, though, I spent listening to and talking with others, both PYL and pyl, on the smoking patio (no smoking indoors), sometimes about BDSM - relationships, techniques, toys, etc. - but more about everything from politics to the best way to restore a '63 Mercury Comet and a '57 porthole T-Bird.

When we got home, I wore her ass out, lol... it's a good memory. Thanks for bringing it up.

hat sounds remarkabely like last night! Pretty much what went on for us. We're both still on the sharp part of the learning curve. So we traveled far last night up the curve. On the way home we stopped by and got a riding crop, and She pretty much wore my ass out, with promises of more today! YEAH!

 

[curiousjen]

I think I would like to go to one, but I'm not sure yet. Like Graceanne, me and owen are very private people, so I doubt we would ever go and play in public. Well, maybe not ever, but certainly for now! I would like to go and watch though, to see how others do it etc etc. It would be an interesting experience.

Not the worlds biggest socialite though, me. So we'll see, we'll see.

 

[Guest]

:: Thinking back to my first play party :: Ye gods and little fishes, that was a loooong time ago!

*sigh* Some days these threads make me feel SO damned old.....

 

[YinandYang]

I haven't gone and I don't intend to. Frankly, I'm a very private person, and I think that 'play' and sex are private things that should be kept between a couple, and not put on display for everyone to see.

I feel pretty much the same as Gracie, to me and SO its a private and intimate part of our relationship, and its nice having a secret hidden from the world

Where we live (a small village) everyone claims to know everthing about each other, and it kind of gets to me sometimes. I am a very private person, in general and don't really go in for meeting and greeting with like minded people. Its nice we have the net because we can be anonomous but open
So I voted no way....not ever.

 

[Sir_Winston54]

*sigh* Some days these threads make me feel SO damned old.....

My first play party was '77 or '78, Ek - how old ya feelin' now?

 

[sphynx's dragon]

Wow, thanks everyone for your replies! This was my first poll and I didn't actually intend for it to be at first. First I was just going to ask who all had but then I thought about it and said "What the Hell", so here it is. I understand about being in a small community. I've lived in places like that and don't really have any desire to go back to one that small. I can understand keeping it private also, but both myself and my Lady learn best seeing and doing. So we thought it best for us to learn this way with experienced teachers handy.

 

[curiousjen]

I can understand keeping it private also, but both myself and my Lady learn best seeing and doing. So we thought it best for us to learn this way with teachers handy.

In what ways did it differ from your expectations? Do you consider it a valuable learning experience? What lessons did you learn? What was the atmophere like?

Sorry for all the questions I'm just incredibly curious about this...

 

[shy slave]

I have been to one play party, vowing NOT to play and then I wanted to try out the St Andrews Cross so felt stupid if I was just strapped to it so was flogged as well.
It was alot of fun, but I am not sure I would go back.

I am just too private for that and I don't enjoy being the centre of attention amongst strangers.

At the time it was really good fun, but in truth, looking back it feels a bit sordid now.

Still if I went with someone I may go back

 

[sphynx's dragon]

This is Sphynx, I'm highjacking dragon's postythingy right now to answer your questions from my POV, he'll respond when his hands are free. I learned alot on how to properly use a flogger. They never made sense to me until I got to see close up how they are used. Those were the mostly used toys at the party. The atmosphere...OMG, it was euphoric in itself. All of the energy from the different scenes happening at once was amazing. One Domme there was even meditating in the moments feeling it. I'd say it ws one of the neatest feelings. Uhm, I wish I could describe it better, it's difficult to explain, perhapse he will do better.

 

[sphynx's dragon]

Now that I have been given back my identity...It was a little different than my expectations, there was a spanking demo at the beginning of the party and throughout the entire thing there was a air of sharing and teaching that I really liked. I learned so much last night that it's not even funny, and my Lady learned alot more than I so it was definitly good. The atmosphere was unbelievable, everyone was soooo accepting of everything, so willing to share what they knew and see what you knew...which in my case was almost nothing, We shared alot of stories and interaction over the course of the evening and I can't wait for the next one!
http://home.hawaii.rr.com/dragonlair/cart0042.gif

 

[Sir_Winston54]

I have been to one play party, vowing NOT to play and then I wanted to try out the St Andrews Cross so felt stupid if I was just strapped to it so was flogged as well. It was alot of fun, but I am not sure I would go back. I am just too private for that and I don't enjoy being the centre of attention amongst strangers. At the time it was really good fun, but in truth, looking back it feels a bit sordid now.

Still if I went with someone I may go back

Going to a play party (even just to observe) without a partner ... very brave of you! <We need an applause icon here!> And then, to actually get strapped onto the cross and flogged - I hope with someone you had an opportunity to discuss levels, safewords, etc., with, before the flogging began - incredibly brave!! You may have to change your name.

While there are some pyls who can and will session with many people, it is more common to find those who are only willing to do so with someone they know and trust. In fact, in my experience, it is more common to find PYLs willing to session pyls new to them than the other way around. Usually.

It's also usually more fun to go with a trusted partner (on either side of the flogger), so you can anticipate the play, and not have that pit-of-the-stomach feeling when you start something with someone you don't really know... SO... find yourself a PYL you feel you can trust, and try a party with him/her. It is a completely different feeling to be the center of attention for one person you know than for a band of strangers - because once you start the session, those others will fade into the background before you know it.

 

[Sir_Winston54]

<snip>I learned alot on how to properly use a flogger. They never made sense to me until I got to see close up how they are used. Those were the mostly used toys at the party. The atmosphere...OMG, it was euphoric in itself. All of the energy from the different scenes happening at once was amazing. One Domme there was even meditating in the moments feeling it. I'd say it ws one of the neatest feelings. Uhm, I wish I could describe it better, it's difficult to explain, perhapse he will do better.

<snip>It was a little different than my expectations, there was a spanking demo at the beginning of the party and throughout the entire thing there was a air of sharing and teaching that I really liked. I learned so much last night that it's not even funny, and my Lady learned alot more than I so it was definitly good. The atmosphere was unbelievable, everyone was soooo accepting of everything, so willing to share what they knew and see what you knew...which in my case was almost nothing, We shared alot of stories and interaction over the course of the evening and I can't wait for the next one!

It sounds like you found a great group to get involved with. Many play parties don't offer any "organization" or "program" or topics, but simply presume that participants know what they're doing and let them get right at it and hope that no one goes beyond their abilities/knowledge. Most, though - even those mentioned above - do have people who are willing to share their experience and knowledge, too, and it's a great way to learn at least the basics of different forms of play, and to watch others as they "do their thing." That's how I learned the basics of cupping, fireplay and waxplay - by talking to people who had experience in them and were willing to share that experience, and by watching them. We're looking forward to hearing more about your experiences as you go to more parties!

 

[curiousjen]

Now that I have been given back my identity...It was a little different than my expectations, there was a spanking demo at the beginning of the party and throughout the entire thing there was a air of sharing and teaching that I really liked. I learned so much last night that it's not even funny, and my Lady learned alot more than I so it was definitly good. The atmosphere was unbelievable, everyone was soooo accepting of everything, so willing to share what they knew and see what you knew...which in my case was almost nothing, We shared alot of stories and interaction over the course of the evening and I can't wait for the next one!

Thanks to both of you for answering my questions. You make it sound so much fun! I'm pleased you had such a good time and learnt a lot.

I guess I'm just scared that the magical spell me and O have between us right now- the electric power dynamic and the crackling sexuality, would just whither and die when exposed to a room full of people engaged in the same thing, no doubt with just as much passion and undoubtedly more technical skill than we have. I'm scared that it wouldn't seem so special anymore, or even distasteful or silly. Am I making sense?

I'm probably being silly, I know!

Did it affect the way you view each other in any way?

 

[shy slave]

Going to a play party (even just to observe) without a partner ... very brave of you! <We need an applause icon here!> And then, to actually get strapped onto the cross and flogged - I hope with someone you had an opportunity to discuss levels, safewords, etc., with, before the flogging began - incredibly brave!! You may have to change your name.

While there are some pyls who can and will session with many people, it is more common to find those who are only willing to do so with someone they know and trust. In fact, in my experience, it is more common to find PYLs willing to session pyls new to them than the other way around. Usually.

It's also usually more fun to go with a trusted partner (on either side of the flogger), so you can anticipate the play, and not have that pit-of-the-stomach feeling when you start something with someone you don't really know... SO... find yourself a PYL you feel you can trust, and try a party with him/her. It is a completely different feeling to be the center of attention for one person you know than for a band of strangers - because once you start the session, those others will fade into the background before you know it.

Thank you Sir_W, I am not sure if it was bravery or stupidity
(Can you believe I am the one so hung up on emotional safety, then I go to a play party alone!!!)

I did know the person who flogged me, and I had seen him flog others that evening.

You are right I really didnt notice the other people and as I was a very long way from anything like pain or sub-space it was simply a fun time.

If I were to go back I would prefer to go with a Dom of my choosing who knew me well.

That said, I am a bit funny about cleaniless and the equipment was not wiped between times

I know its odd but I just dont want to lay on pieces of equipment that has someone else sweat or cum on.

 

[caela]

Dragon, I am sooooo envious!!! It sounds like you and your Lady had a great time. I'm thinking about going to one in the near future but I don't have the guts to go alone and since I'm not seeing anyone I'll have to talk a friend or two into coming with.

You realize thought that now you have to give us details from the next one...and the next...and the next forever right???

 

[sphynx's dragon]

LOL...details we can give! <squirming from a warm heiney> As a matter of fact the celebrations from our enjoyment of the party continue!

Seriously though, SirWinston, yes we have found a good group I think, pretty lucky about it too since it's the only show in town! The group we're in is the only one on the island so it is kinda limiting but so far from everything we've seen they're great. Saw alot last night and reaffirrmed certain areas that we have NO interest in exploring, but also saw levels and areas that we hadn't thought of. So here's to playing and play parties! May the best of our past be the worst of our future!

 

[Aeroil]

Dammit am I ever jealous of you Draggie.....lol, just kidding (kinda) glad you learned a lot, but why are you posting instead of doing your howework!!
for shame

 

[jasonlf]

I haven't gone and I don't intend to. Frankly, I'm a very private person, and I think that 'play' and sex are private things that should be kept between a couple, and not put on display for everyone to see.

Excellent.

I completely agree, gracie.

 

[tealsphynx]

Thanks to both of you for answering my questions. You make it sound so much fun! I'm pleased you had such a good time and learnt a lot.

I guess I'm just scared that the magical spell me and O have between us right now- the electric power dynamic and the crackling sexuality, would just whither and die when exposed to a room full of people engaged in the same thing, no doubt with just as much passion and undoubtedly more technical skill than we have. I'm scared that it wouldn't seem so special anymore, or even distasteful or silly. Am I making sense?

I'm probably being silly, I know!

Did it affect the way you view each other in any way?

I'm not sure if he answered this question yet. I don't think it changed the way we view eachother. We didn't do much other than watch and listen. Perhapse if we had participated it might have. I remember when I posted pictures of him here on Lit for the first time. He almost couldn't believe I would actually do something like that...and play parties have plenty of opportunity for doing learning more things along that line (if that doesn't make sense just let me know) For us going to the party didn't make anything feel less special or distasteful, though actually watching people engaged in needle play has definitely reconfirmed that both of us are too squeemish to explore into that territory. I learned how to use a flogger...turns out there's a wrist movement to it and that's why I was having trouble So I'm excited to try to use one and have it work. Also learned a bit about riding crops, clips, canes, whips and spanking! all in all it was a great experience for us and I would hope that any group you find to attend a play party with is as wonderful as ours is!

 

[snowy ciara]

I've been to a few, and will most likely go back, but it's pretty weird....

I went to 2 parties with kat and then the last one I went to, I went with another couple cause Kat had to work, so she came later. I am, offline, sort of terminally shy. It's really bad. I got pulled over for something good once and I was so freaked out and afraid of the cop (who was really a very nice man) that I ended up crying anyway. I'm that wimpy with strangers and strangers who are authority figures. So anyway, I had noticed that I don't get spaced, I don't think. But I do get sort of involved with the more intense scenes. I mean, sucked into them to a point beyond arousal. There was a Dom who is not known for being the safest player in the world here who had been hitting on me at non party functions (the club here has lots of those, munches and seminars and stuff) and I'd always said no. So there I am at this weird point beyond arousal and I found myself somewhat, oh, I don't know. Not really relaxed, but incredibly turned on and feeling almost drunk or buzzed. I had heard before of "contact highs", where if someone is smoking pot and you breathe the second hand smoke you get buzzed. too. I've never experimented with drugs before, but it was sort of like, I'm surrounded by all these feel good endorphins and PYL energy and pyl energy and there's one or two starry eyed spaced out subs drifting about and I almost thought I was getting a contact high off them! I know it sounds stupid, but that's kinda how I felt. I'm probably not describing it well. I was all in that state when the scary guy came up and started talking to me, and I almost went with him. Not out onto the dungeon floor, but home with him! Luckily, a DM was paying attention and sort of stopped it. Thank god. That night the masochist who did go home with him got hurt. He's since been suspended from the club for predatory behavior.

The last party I went to, the PYL wasn't aware that I have that thing going on, but Kat had asked him not to leave me "unattended" if they went out to play, so I went out on the floor and knelt behind them as He went after her butt with all sorts of impacty things. I was so way into it, and kat hadn't warned him how into it I get, and I was behind them. We have outstanding DM's out here and the one on duty (whom I have sort of a crush on) noticed that I was a bit, ah, loopy and grabbed kat.

So anyway, yes, I'll go again, but only when I find someone who wants to be my Keeper for the night, who won't take advantage of the situation. Most of the folks I know around here play at almost every party, and I feel bad asking them to babysit, and also kind of stupid and immature for asking for help like this. It's embarrassing to admit that I can't trust my emotions and hormones and stuff. No one else seems to have this trouble, do they?

Anyway, this contact high sorta thing I was describing earlier, has anyone else ever felt that? Or am I just more insane than we thought I was?

 

[graceanne]

Or am I just more insane than we thought I was?

Well, I don't think you can get more crazy, but then . . . .

Seriously, though, while I've never been to a play party, it makes sense to me. Remember dolfs thread about the munch that she and shyslave went to? Where a dom used some kind of glove on her arm, and she dropped into subspace? Sounds similar to what you're talking about.