First Person vs Third Person: Which is more popular in Erotica?

[Britva415]

What if the MC doesn't have to know those things? IRL we all live in the first person, none of us are telepathic, we experience that kind of uncertainty about what's in other people's heads all the time. It can be a great ingredient for a story.

I agree.

It's not that Dresden is telepathic and unfailingly knows the feelings of those around him, it's that he's confident that he does know and narrates what he thinks he knows.

@Defluer
I've read all the Dresden books. He's fallible. There have been many times when what he thought he knew, and told the reader, about someone else's thoughts and feelings turned out to be wrong.

There were other times when he re-tells something long after the facts, and Future Dresden is actually in a position to know.

(Note to other litsters who aren't familiar: Dresden is a character, not the author.)

 

[Britva415]

Or, as Bramblethorn (who is generally more tactful than I) puts it,

lol, how many times do you need to repeat it.

At least add something new, if you feel the need to keep engaging.

I get the message.

 

[Britva415]

I see writers who struggle with writing good dialogue leaning more heavily on first person perspective.

This is laughable because "writing good dialogue" doesn't depend on point of view at all. It depends on imagining words people would say.

(I'm not saying your opinion is laughable or that you're laughable for having it, I'm saying I laughed when you shared it - because I've seen the same thing. This isn't to say that I think first-person writing automatically means the writer is struggling. Nota bene)

 

[SimonDoom]

what if I word it like -

"my opinion is that if a writer wants ME to like their shit, they should..."

I can see how someone might not have read that between the lines I drew.

That clarifies things, and I don't think anybody is in a position to fault somebody who says "this is what I personally like." We're all entitled to our tastes and personal preferences, especially when it comes to matters of the erotic.

It wasn't entirely clear from the way you phrased it before, but I assumed you PROBABLY meant it the way you just explained you meant it.

I think a good general rule to follow in social media is to interpret what others say generously rather than ungenerously. Assume their intention is good, if one possible interpretation of what they say permits that inference. Too many pointless fights in social media, including here, happen because someone chooses to interpret what the other person says in an ungenerous way. It's fair to expect people to be aware of the reasonable consequences of their words, but it's also fair to cut people some slack if they're a bit sloppy.

 

[Britva415]

That clarifies things, and I don't think anybody is in a position to fault somebody who says "this is what I personally like." We're all entitled to our tastes and personal preferences, especially when it comes to matters of the erotic.

It wasn't entirely clear from the way you phrased it before, but I assumed you PROBABLY meant it the way you just explained you meant it.

I think a good general rule to follow in social media is to interpret what others say generously rather than ungenerously. Assume their intention is good, if one possible interpretation of what they say permits that inference. Too many pointless fights in social media, including here, happen because someone chooses to interpret what the other person says in an ungenerous way. It's fair to expect people to be aware of the reasonable consequences of their words, but it's also fair to cut people some slack if they're a bit sloppy.

You're very generous. :bows:

 

[Voboy]

I think a good general rule to follow in social media is to interpret what others say generously rather than ungenerously. Assume their intention is good, if one possible interpretation of what they say permits that inference.

I don't disagree. That's why I asked for clarification. More than once.

All good, though.

 

[BobbyBrandt]

This is laughable because "writing good dialogue" doesn't depend on point of view at all. It depends on imagining words people would say.

(I'm not saying your opinion is laughable or that you're laughable for having it, I'm saying I laughed when you shared it - because I've seen the same thing. This isn't to say that I think first-person writing automatically means the writer is struggling. Nota bene)

I understand your point.
Another thing I find laughable is readers who don't recognize the difference between dialogue and narrative where things like grammar are concerned, regardless of the perspective used to write it.

 

[Voboy]

I understand your point.
Another thing I find laughable is readers who don't recognize the difference between dialogue and narrative where things like grammar are concerned, regardless of the perspective used to write it.

I'll disagree, though mildly.

There are times, and MANY of them, when the storytelling supports colloquial narrative. Other times, it's not right for the story. It's up to the writer to judge when it's right.

Being dogmatic about these things isn't always all that useful.

 

[Britva415]

I'll disagree, though mildly.

There are times, and MANY of them, when the storytelling supports colloquial narrative. Other times, it's not right for the story. It's up to the writer to judge when it's right.

Being dogmatic about these things isn't always all that useful.

That's not the same, though, as "not recognizing."

That's doing it deliberately.

 

[KeithD]

The narrator can be anyone from the author (the grammar and spelling should be good) to a character in the story (the grammar and spelling can be as colloquial as any of the other characters. See Mark Twain.)

 

[Voboy]

That's not the same, though, as "not recognizing."

That's doing it deliberately.

Sure, but how do you (as the reader) know the difference?

 

[Britva415]

Sure, but how do you (as the reader) know the difference?

One can't know for sure but I find that I can form a pretty good impression.

One clue is, it's not the only flaw in the writing.

 

[BobbyBrandt]

I'll disagree, though mildly.

There are times, and MANY of them, when the storytelling supports colloquial narrative. Other times, it's not right for the story. It's up to the writer to judge when it's right.

Being dogmatic about these things isn't always all that useful.

I was referring to specifics particular to how people speak (dialogue) versus how the same phrase might be written using proper grammar in the narrative. Readers viewing the written work frequently miss the differences.

 

[Voboy]

I was referring to specifics particular to how people speak (dialogue) versus how the same phrase might be written using proper grammar in the narrative. Readers viewing the written work frequently miss the differences.

No, I got what you were going for. There's a place for colloquial narration. It all depends on the skill of the writer.

 

[Bramblethorn]

what if I word it like -

"my opinion is that if a writer wants ME to like their shit, they should..."

I can see how someone might not have read that between the lines I drew.

I have no issue with that version.

 

[rosebudliquor]

No one rule covers everything. Erotica is a kind of romance in the old-school sense: you're trying to create an emotional experience for a reader. I aspire to live up to Elmore Leonard's "If it sounds like writing, I rewrite it."

 

[Stimtheone]

I almost have a disdain for first person. Third person all the way. Rarely have I seen something done first person right. Either the author slips from the point of view, it reads as half baked experiences with no real feeling for the bigger story or just some wannabe fantasy.

When there is reading of something first person it's also fairly difficult to see the situation. It reads more like a half-assed report, not much going into the world, the situation... also it limits the possible actions.

Third person all the way unless they impress me hard in the first paragraph.

 

[KimGordon67]

As some others have said, I think most of the time there's no conscious decision to write in 1st person or 3d person POV. Among my 54 stories, there was one that I started in 1st person POV and consciously chose to rewrite it in 3d person after being about a third of the way through it. But that's the only time.

Some general thoughts on why you might choose one v. the other:

1st person:

1. You only want to tell the story from one POV.
2. You think 1st person POV will get your reader into the shoes of the narrator more easily.
3. The character doesn't die (it's problematic to tell a story from the perspective of somebody who dies, unless it's a ghost story).
4. The element of surprise is important (a 1st person POV character cannot know what is around the corner, while an omniscient 3d person narrator can).
5. It's important to you to tell the story from a particular, subjective voice, as opposed to a more objective 3d person perspective.

3d person:

1. You want to tell the story from more than one perspective (omniscient 3d person, or alternating 3d person limited).
2. You want the narrative voice to be different from the character's voice.
3. You want the narrator to be able to tell the reader things that are happening that the character in the story cannot know.
4. You want to achieve a certain emotional distance from the main character.
5. The character dies in the story (unless it's a ghost story).

All of these are legitimate reasons to choose one or the other. I'm sure there are others I'm overlooking.

I'm late to this party, but just wanted to say thanks for this clear list of pro's for each approach. I've got a first person thing elsewhere - it really just started as a fantasy, but I've had such good feedback I'm thinking I might fix it up a bit and make my first Lit submission ... I've really enjoyed writing it, and I'm thinking that writing erotica might be a thing for me. Maybe. (Last year I thought I was going to learn to be a DJ, and that didn't happen, so who knows?) But I was wondering whether I should change it to third person ... now I can see that it's actually quite good to have it in first person. I am a little concerned that it makes it difficult for a straight man to identify with the central character ... although one of the straight guys who read it said that even though he's straight, he actually wanted to BE me while he was reading it, so I guess that's OK? It would be difficult for me to write a guy's perspective, because I don't have much idea of what sex feels like for a guy ... but I guess there's ways around that.

 

[Euphony]

It would be difficult for me to write a guy's perspective, because I don't have much idea of what sex feels like for a guy ..

I'd offer that the assumption men (and the flip side women when writing their experience) need authentic representation of the physical sensations is oversold and not the fix all even if you had the knowledge of a clinician.

Emotional empathy can bridge a whole lot of the "gap" even if men, in general, aren't quick to admit that.

Acceptance, desirability, proficiency (feeling you most Manish or womanish self) etc etc. Emotions are mostly universal to the sexes and there's plenty of research (and just a general understanding) of the priority differences and how they drive the interactions.

We are far more alike than we are different however much we accept it or not.

 

[KimGordon67]

I'd offer that the assumption men (and the flip side women when writing their experience) need authentic representation of the physical sensations is oversold and not the fix all even if you had the knowledge of a clinician.

Emotional empathy can bridge a whole lot of the "gap" even if men, in general, aren't quick to admit that.

Acceptance, desirability, proficiency (feeling you most Manish or womanish self) etc etc. Emotions are mostly universal to the sexes and there's plenty of research (and just a general understanding) of the priority differences and how they drive the interactions.

We are far more alike than we are different however much we accept it or not.

I like this - thanks. I guess I can manage to describe experiences I've not actually had myself. I might stick with this first one being in the first person, given that it's been pretty favourably received, but experiment with some other approaches as I go ... if I do indeed keep going. The whole writing fiction thing is new to me, and I'm not entirely sure whether I'm that good at it.

 

[MelissaBaby]

I might fix it up a bit and make my first Lit submission ... I've really enjoyed writing it, and I'm thinking that writing erotica might be a thing for me.

Well, it's about god damn time!

I have had plenty of positive feedback from readers identifying as straight men on stories with first or third person female POV, so it does not seem to be an issue.

 

[Euphony]

I guess I can manage to describe experiences I've not actually had myself.

You absolutely can. Fiction writers do it all the time. Allow yourself the same freedom and you'll likely be surprised at just what you can do.

I might stick with this first one being in the first person, given that it's been pretty favourably received,

If that's what works best for the story, go for it.
Audience reception is lower on considerations. You have a better feel for what works as you are living in it whereas readers are only visiting for a party.

but experiment with some other approaches as I go ...

No better way to learn pov than to play around with it.

if I do indeed keep going.

If you feel it, you absolutely should. The benefits extend beyond some likes and a few comments. Many of us try it on a lark and it becomes a regular part of our lives.

The whole writing fiction thing is new to me, and I'm not entirely sure whether I'm that good at it.

Why put conditions on yourself beyond if it's a positive experience for you?

Even naturally talented writers doubt themselves all the time (comes with the art form it seems) and many of us work it out as we go along.

If you enjoy it, do it. That would be my only qualifier in the early going because you need to keep writing to get better.

Anything counter to that, early on, is usually best tabled for later. (most writers suffer from over self criticism not under so there will be plenty of time for that once your more up and running.)

 

[EmilyMiller]

I’ve recently joined and have posted my first story. So far, the reception has been great and the comments very kind. The story is called Portmanteau Episode 1.

https://literotica.com/s/portmanteau-ep-01

It’s written in a style called portmanteau which features three independent stories loosely associated with each other. Overall it jumps around a bit offering a kaleidoscope view of the event. At any rate, it is written as is most fiction in the third person omniscient. However, in reading works all over this site, it seems the first-person narrative is more common, and I assume more popular for the reader . First person doesn’t work for me as it tends to read like a letter (I’m reminded of sneaking looks at my Dad’s Penthouse magazine and reader’s forum section), but it must be working because of the plethora and popularity of works written in this style.

Can anyone offer some insight as to why the first person is so prevalent here? My assumption is it helps with the fantasy for some readers as they can become the pronoun “I” or “we” in the story and enjoy the erotic adventure from the perspective of the participant.

For me, being the story’s observer in a 3rd person narrative gives me a voyeuristic view which adds another layer of eroticism. As long as I’m never too far ahead of the hero or heroine, this style keeps me turning pages. As a writer it also allows me to create undesirable characters that no one wants to associate themselves with personally but are needed to move the story forward.

Art is art, there is never a right or wrong way, but I would love to hear what others think specifically which style enhances the pleasure of the read and perhaps a thought as to why.

I started writing autobiographical stories (or at least ones based on actual experiences), so first person was an obvious choice. It’s kinda stuck.

My only third person series is The Kiss. As this is a lesbian fantasy, I found the biggest challenge was identifying who was doing what without constantly using the FMCs names.

Em

 

[KimGordon67]

Well, it's about god damn time!

Is this response directed to me specifically? I'm a little intrigued if someone who's obviously so experienced with writing in here thinks I've got what it takes.

 

[KimGordon67]

You absolutely can. Fiction writers do it all the time. Allow yourself the same freedom and you'll likely be surprised at just what you can do.


If that's what works best for the story, go for it.
Audience reception is lower on considerations. You have a better feel for what works as you are living in it whereas readers are only visiting for a party.


No better way to learn pov than to play around with it.


If you feel it, you absolutely should. The benefits extend beyond some likes and a few comments. Many of us try it on a lark and it becomes a regular part of our lives.


Why put conditions on yourself beyond if it's a positive experience for you?

Even naturally talented writers doubt themselves all the time (comes with the art form it seems) and many of us work it out as we go along.

If you enjoy it, do it. That would be my only qualifier in the early going because you need to keep writing to get better.

Anything counter to that, early on, is usually best tabled for later. (most writers suffer from over self criticism not under so there will be plenty of time for that once your more up and running.)

I'm a woman with a working class background ... our whole lives are a hot mess of self criticism.

I have a couple of friends who are well published authors, so have a bit of insight into what it takes to be actually good. It's a lot of hard work. I probably don't have that level of tenacity, but my day job requires a lot of use of the written word, so I'm relatively adept with that. Weirdly, I think a few years of cyber/phone sex have been a huge help - you need to get pretty good at using words in the absence of physical stuff. And it made me focus on the 'actual' sex a lot more, really thinking about what was happening, how it felt, etc.