First-person/Third-person

[Phirefly]

Hi guys

Ok, so I'm not sure if this is the right forum to ask this question, but it seemed most appropriate! My question has to do with point-of-view in erotic stories. It seems to me that most stories are written in the third-person point of view. Sometimes it's omniscient, sometimes not, but most of the stories I've read (<3 Literotica, by the way) have been in third-person.

Do these types of stories lose something when they're written in first-person? The only erotic writing that I have done has been writing down my fantasies for myself or a partner of mine, and they're always in first-person, with many "I's" and you's". I'm sure this is just as acceptable as third person, but it just doesn't seem to be as common. Does anyone have an opinion as to why that is? Or am I just missing a whoooole bunch of first-person stories somewhere?

Thanks ahead of time!

 

[slyc_willie]

Hi guys

Ok, so I'm not sure if this is the right forum to ask this question, but it seemed most appropriate! My question has to do with point-of-view in erotic stories. It seems to me that most stories are written in the third-person point of view. Sometimes it's omniscient, sometimes not, but most of the stories I've read (<3 Literotica, by the way) have been in third-person.

Do these types of stories lose something when they're written in first-person? The only erotic writing that I have done has been writing down my fantasies for myself or a partner of mine, and they're always in first-person, with many "I's" and you's". I'm sure this is just as acceptable as third person, but it just doesn't seem to be as common. Does anyone have an opinion as to why that is? Or am I just missing a whoooole bunch of first-person stories somewhere?

Thanks ahead of time!

The majority of stories here on Lit are, indeed, written in the third person. Quite a few are in first person, as well, but very few in second. A story written for someone else, in which the narrator is saying something like 'I kiss your soft mouth and move my way down your body . . .' loses a lot of readership.

Why? There are several factors. One is that few people want to read a story in which they feel they are not included. Voyeurism aside, not many readers are willing to peek into someone else's life in that way.

No one can tell you how to write. But what is popular, not just on Lit, but elsewhere, are stories that feel 'open-ended' to the reader, in which they can take the place of one of the characters or otherwise empathise with them. A story in which you are telling your lover what you are doing to them comes off as a story from which the reader is closed off.

 

[Belegon]

first vs third is a matter of style. Personally, I write in first person quite often.

Most of my work on Lit is in first person, if only because that was the first style I felt comfortable writing. Only recently have I become more proficient in third person.

 

[Jenny_Jackson]

There isn't any right or wrong with respect to point of view. Many stories are in first person. I've done a couple, though most are in third. My experience is that first person tends to cause me some problems because of my style. I find third more comfortable. Personally, I think it tends to make it easier to put the read in the center of the action rather than leaving him outside to act as a voyeur. But that's just me.

Second person I wouldn't touch with a ten-foot pole.

 

[Stella_Omega]

I think I have two stories on lit written in first person. A couple more are coming, actually...

Many of my other stories, though, started off in first person- but I changed them to third because it allowed me more scope, allowed me more narrative omniscience.

In first person, you are limited as to what you can tell- only the things you know. You can't explain another person's motives or emotions, except by inference, or by having them tell you so that you can report them back to the reader. This is difficult to deal with, sometimes- and there are bigger challenges than that one.
How can I, the Author, let you the reader know that my protagonist is a total hunk- the the protagonist is unaware of it? sometimes finding the answers to technical questions like that one are more trouble than they're worth, and I'd rather just switch POV's.

 

[damppanties]

The only erotic writing that I have done has been writing down my fantasies for myself or a partner of mine, and they're always in first-person, with many "I's" and you's".

If your writing has 'I' and 'you', then you're writing in second person, not first. First person is 'I' and 'she/he'.

 

[Nasha]

In addition to the limitations others have already mentioned (and adding, somewhat, to what slyc_willie said), as a reader, every time I encounter the "you" in a piece of second person narration, it jars and pulls me out of the story, because, with rare exception, if any, I won't be able to put myself in the place of the "you" of the story.

I don't need to be able to feel like I could be one of the characters in first or third-person narration, but when I read second-person narration, it's like I got my neighbor's mail by mistake.

 

[cloudy]

The only erotic writing that I have done has been writing down my fantasies for myself or a partner of mine, and they're always in first-person, with many "I's" and you's".

What Dampy and Nasha said. That's not first person, it's second. And, it's not really a story, it's a letter. Change it to a story, and it will do much better.

 

[rgraham666]

I started out in third person. Most of my stuff these days is in first.

Personally, I find first person an invigorating challenge. Not having the omniscience of third person makes it difficult to communicate the emotions of other characters in the story.

Which makes it much more satisfying when I succeed.

I'm trying to do third person stories once more. Now I'm finding that a challenge.

 

[Carnevil9]

Real Life is in first person, so I find it a more natural way of writing. But maybe that's just me......Carney

 

[Phirefly]

Eek! You guys are right. "I" and "you" IS second person, not first. Duh. Back to high school English with me. How embarrassing.

I see your point about writing in second person, and I truly mean first vs. third. I realize my writing down of my fantasy in a personal letter to a lover is not going to read the same to readers who don't know me and can't put themself in that spot! Thank you all for your opinions and advice. I think I'll be working on a story eventually, although not quite yet, and my first try is going to be third-person, I've decided. I think the posters who said that first-person is a challenge to write are right, and the first challenge I need to hurdle is just getting a story out there!

Thanks again!

 

[Tom Collins]

Most of my stories are in first person (counting ones that I've still got in the works), two are in third. I do have one that's in a combination of first and second person, but it's not very popular for the very reason that Willie said. I've had people say they started reading it and stopped, even though it's only about 1200 words, because it felt intirely too intamate to them. It made them feel as if they were peeping through a key hole and made them feel very uncomfortable, almost creeped out, I think.

Deciding whether to write in first or third is all about what you're comfortable with. Some people find it incredibly difficult to write in one, but easy, or easier at least, in the other. I'm equally comfortable with either form, and it seems to me that the story decides which it will be, rather than me making a concious decision.

 

[Tom Collins]

I started out in third person. Most of my stuff these days is in first.

Personally, I find first person an invigorating challenge. Not having the omniscience of third person makes it difficult to communicate the emotions of other characters in the story.

Which makes it much more satisfying when I succeed.

I'm trying to do third person stories once more. Now I'm finding that a challenge.

I could have written this post, Sir Rob. LOL

 

[tanyachrs]

I'm not so sure that "I" and "you" makes second person. I think second person is just "you". Like:

You get up and wash your face. You look in the mirror and don't like what you see. You look away.

In that case, the narrator, the point of view, is actually "you." If the narrator says "I", it's first person even if he refers to his reader as "you":

I get up and wash my face. I see you in the mirror behind me and I like what I see. You reach for me.

That's first person.

 

[impressive]

first vs third is a matter of style. Personally, I write in first person quite often.

Most of my work on Lit is in first person, if only because that was the first style I felt comfortable writing. Only recently have I become more proficient in third person.

You mean you've been dragged, kicking & screaming, into third.

 

[3113]

Eek! You guys are right. "I" and "you" IS second person

As tanyachrs points out, it's only "you" which is 2nd person, and it rarely works because it comes across either as a gimmic or a cookbook. People don't like to be that impassive ("You feel your heart racing"...Um, no, I don't, says the reader ).

The positive of "I" is that it's very intimate and can get the reader to start saying, "I" along with the narrator of the story. But, unless you switch between first person's pov's, it is limiting.

3rd person can be selective (one character's pov) or omniscient--go into any character's head you like. Both have advantages and disadvantages. It all depends on what works best for the story.

 

[CharleyH]

Hi guys

Ok, so I'm not sure if this is the right forum to ask this question, but it seemed most appropriate! My question has to do with point-of-view in erotic stories. It seems to me that most stories are written in the third-person point of view. Sometimes it's omniscient, sometimes not, but most of the stories I've read (<3 Literotica, by the way) have been in third-person.

Do these types of stories lose something when they're written in first-person? The only erotic writing that I have done has been writing down my fantasies for myself or a partner of mine, and they're always in first-person, with many "I's" and you's". I'm sure this is just as acceptable as third person, but it just doesn't seem to be as common. Does anyone have an opinion as to why that is? Or am I just missing a whoooole bunch of first-person stories somewhere?

Thanks ahead of time!

I believe short stories gain in first person (emotion, 5 senses). I believe it is harder to write in first than third person because it is hard to describe the 5 senses from one person let alone two. I do believe it is possible, though and can be well done. I have done it and well.

 

[CharleyH]

As tanyachrs points out, it's only "you" which is 2nd person, and it rarely works because it comes across either as a gimmic or a cookbook. People don't like to be that impassive ("You feel your heart racing"...Um, no, I don't, says the reader ).

As for 2nd person? It can be done well, but it takes a MASTER of language and story.

 

[Stella_Omega]

As for 2nd person? It can be done well, but it takes a MASTER of language and story.

without a doubt! If I ever accomplished that, I'd be much more than proud. In fact, I know there was something that I read- by someone of the caliber of, say, Updike or Vonnegut- and it... almost... worked.

Charley, do you know of any examples?

 

[CharleyH]

without a doubt! If I ever accomplished that, I'd be much more than proud. In fact, I know there was something that I read- by someone of the caliber of, say, Updike or Vonnegut- and it... almost... worked.

Charley, do you know of any examples?

Nicholson Baker. Although it's more straight-up dialogue than 2nd person. and Ellis, in short stories. The key is that the "you" is NEVER the reader but always a well-defined character with a name.

Cheers

 

[Stella_Omega]

Nicholson Baker. Although it's more straight-up dialogue than 2nd person. and Ellis, in short stories. The key is that the "you" is NEVER the reader but always a well-defined character with a name.

Cheers

thanks, I'll check those out!

Come to think of it, Piers Anthony (who is famous for his silly "Xanth" series) wrote an absolutely ferocious story in which he describes how you, the reader, die in an atomic blast.

 

[Tom Collins]

thanks, I'll check those out!

Come to think of it, Piers Anthony (who is famous for his silly "Xanth" series) wrote an absolutely ferocious story in which he describes how you, the reader, die in an atomic blast.

Did he really? I used to be a huge fan of his...still am to a degree, though I think he's gone way beyond too far with the Xanth thing. Don't suppose you recall the name?

 

[Stella_Omega]

Did he really? I used to be a huge fan of his...still am to a degree, though I think he's gone way beyond too far with the Xanth thing. Don't suppose you recall the name?

hmm, it might be in the book "Anthonology" which has some nassty stuff, and also some purely bad writing. I couldn't find a contents list...

And anyway, if it wasn't him- it could have been someone like Jerry Pournelle, or Fritz Leiber, or maybe Harlan Ellison...

 

[Tom Collins]

hmm, it might be in the book "Anthonology" which has some nassty stuff, and also some purely bad writing. I couldn't find a contents list...

And anyway, if it wasn't him- it could have been someone like Jerry Pournelle, or Fritz Leiber, or maybe Harlan Ellison...

Ahhh...I think the worst thing Anthony ever did was a book called Pornucopia. Really terrible.

It was written in first person, just to keep this in context.

 

[Phirefly]

Ok, so now I'm confused. First person, second person... I think I've made myself dumber by posting this thread! *grins*

I'm just going to quote one paragraph from one of my "detailing of fantasies" and you expert folks can tell me if I'm doing first-person or second-person here. I think it's first-person, but now I'm not totally sure.

(I'm not posting this blurb for any sort of writing review - I think in order to get into this particular story, you'd have to be a male with a fantasy of being with two women, one of them being pretty dominant. That narrows the reading base down considerably, and I wouldn't post this as a story - it's now just an example of first vs second person)

Surprisingly, Amy starts on my back with the feather. Drifting it up and down my spine makes my whole body shudder and I begin to breathe quicker. The sensation gets more and more ticklish as she brings it closer to my sides and I try to twist away from the feather. At once I feel a smack on my rear.

"Stand still!" Amy says firmly.

I brace myself, still shuddering slightly. With my legs slightly spread, she has no problem drifting the feather down my ass, close to my pussy, but not quite there. I find something to focus on. It's you, sitting in front of us, watching my body shivering. I lock eyes with you, and see the hunger there, also evident in your cock, hard and beaded with precum in front of you. I'm in awe of your willpower. Your hands haven't moved yet.

First-person, no? Looking back at that, I notice I wrote most of these in the present-tense too, which can be sort of awkward, although I guess it works as long as I'm consistent!