First NonErotic. ACK

[CelticFrog]

Well, it got approved today.
It was my first foray into the NonErotic side of things, and I'm really interested to see the response compared to the erotic ones I've written.

I welcome any feedback on the others as well, especially in the context of how they compare to the new one.

Comments, suggestions, constructive criticism... yeah.

The link to my story menu is in my signature.

Thanks a bunch in advance,
Ang

 

[jthserra]

Celtic Frog...

I left a lengthy feedback with, hopefully, constructive criticism. Take a peek and let me know what you think.


jim

 

[dr_mabeuse]

It’s hard to be critical when you’re wearing your heart so obviously oin your sleeve as you are in this piece, but the fact is that this isn’t really a story. It’s a description or maybe a diary entry, but I wouldn’t consider it fiction because really, nothing happens in it, nor do we have any idea of what happened before to make you feel the way you describe. It’s a recounting of a feeling state that we can’t connect to any occurance, so it was kind of meaningless to me.

In my opinion, fiction uses events and occurances in such a way as to communicate feelings and ideas. This piece is feelings and ideas without any events or occurances, so it was all very vague and disconnected for me; much too subjective.

---dr.M.

 

[CelticFrog]

Thanks.
I will work on that.

Something I am consistently working on in 'regular' stories is rereading from the reader's perspective. In my writing mind, I know exactly what's going on but can forget to put that down in to words when I can't type as fast as my brain is working.

Ang

 

[dr_mabeuse]

I know what you mean, and I actually gave up writing for a lot of years because I couldn't stand dealing with the ambiguity that occurs between my words and the reader's brain. I never knew if I was getting through, if they were understanding what I was trying to say.

What finally saved me was the realization that I had to tell a story. I had to stop focusing on what I was feeling inside and concentrate on describing what was going on outside, and tell it in such a way that the feelings came through in the story. I'm a big believer now in conveying feeling through story setting and mood: showing things and letting the reader draw his own conclusions.

---dr.M.