finfing out

[hack72]

A few months ago i was caught having an affair. In returnto spite me, my wife admitted that a few months ago for about 6 months she had allowed her boss to fondle her and suck her breasts several times but did not let him fuck her. Ever since then i have been trying to get her stories, but she always puts them off saying it turns her off, or she'll bring up my affair.

My thoughts are, Can i believe she did not fuck him after being turned on?
How di i get to know all the details?

 

[hack72]

come on ppl, help me out here.....

i am losing sleep coz of this....

although i deserve it in a way

 

[I'm Wild Cherry]

double post...

 

[I'm Wild Cherry]

It is possible to limit one's actions. You just may have to trust her that she is telling you the truth.


Marriage counseling sounds like it could be in order to help the communication on both ends.

 

[hack72]

guess so...

but the thoughts really get to me.

jealousy i guess

thanks

 

[sheath]

A few months ago i was caught having an affair. In returnto spite me, my wife admitted that a few months ago for about 6 months she had allowed her boss to fondle her and suck her breasts several times but did not let him fuck her. Ever since then i have been trying to get her stories, but she always puts them off saying it turns her off, or she'll bring up my affair.

My thoughts are, Can i believe she did not fuck him after being turned on?
How di i get to know all the details?

Whether or not she fucked him doesn't matter at this point, does it? At worst, it would make you both equal in the game of cheating on your spouse.

My two cents? She didn't do a damn thing with anybody. She just wants you to know how it feels to be cheated on. She was angry and hurt and to 'spite you', she told you things happened...but she didn't tell you enough to make you go after the boss with questions. After all, if she had told you something with absolute certainty, it might have ended up in a confrontation between you and the boss, right? Sounds to me like she was just trying to get back at you in any way she knew how.

I would get marriage counseling now...the feelings of anger, guilt, blame and spite run very deep, given what you have said here, and those things have to be resolved NOW if you want to have a marriage a year from now.

Good luck...

S.

 

[bytor2112]

she should dump your sorry ass!!

 

[sheath]

she should dump your sorry ass!!

Oh, that's so incredibly helpful.

S.

 

[Metal_Monkey]

You hurt your wife's feelings and disrespected her. And sheath is probably accurate when she wrote that your wife may have made up her affair. She was trying to hurt you back because, whether you realize it or not, you've affected her life and her psyche in a way that will likely never be undone.

What you need is marriage counseling. Something caused you to stray from your marriage vow - your word of honor - and it needs to be addressed before you can rebuild your marriage, value your wife the way she deserves, and reestablish any trust between you two.

 

[hack72]

You all have given very helpful advise, except for that sorry ass bit. THe country where i am, marriage counselling is nearly unheard of. I'll work around it. but i always know there are open ears here.

thanks a bunch.

 

[bytor2112]

You all have given very helpful advise, except for that sorry ass bit. THe country where i am, marriage counselling is nearly unheard of. I'll work around it. but i always know there are open ears here.

thanks a bunch.

why was it bad advice...you cheated you're a pig...why should she even deal with you...

she should find an honorable man who will be faithful.....

you will cheat again...

 

[Xt4cY]

i kinda know how ya feel man, i didn't cheat on my gf but we broke up, and within a week she messed around with my friend, i love her more than anything and i felt very betraid and when i'm around her i forget it, but when i'm alone i can just picture them, especially since i got 2 different stories from both of them. don't know what to suggest, because i don't think i'll ever forget it, i have forgiven, but the pain won't go away for a long while i think...

 

[sheath]

why was it bad advice...you cheated you're a pig...why should she even deal with you...

she should find an honorable man who will be faithful.....

you will cheat again...

Okay. I'll bite, just because it's one of those days.

It was bad advice because it was NOT advice. It was a judgment call, just like the post quoted above. Your comments are rude, uncalled for, and obviously borne of bitterness and anger. Apparently you have been viciously hurt in the past, and I'm sorry that happened to you, but it gives you no right to attack others.

You will find that this board is one of the most accepting and helpful on Lit. So just a word of advice for you...comments like those you made in this thread will NOT get you taken seriously. It's like the little boy who cried wolf. When the times comes that you DO have something helpful to say, nobody will pay one lick of attention.

S.

 

[bytor2112]

Okay. I'll bite, just because it's one of those days.

It was bad advice because it was NOT advice. It was a judgment call, just like the post quoted above. Your comments are rude, uncalled for, and obviously borne of bitterness and anger. Apparently you have been viciously hurt in the past, and I'm sorry that happened to you, but it gives you no right to attack others.

You will find that this board is one of the most accepting and helpful on Lit. So just a word of advice for you...comments like those you made in this thread will NOT get you taken seriously. It's like the little boy who cried wolf. When the times comes that you DO have something helpful to say, nobody will pay one lick of attention.

S.

nah, never been viciously hurt and not bitter......just call them like i read them...dude cheated he's a pig....maybe they have relationship problems but since when does cheating solve them...

but give him the "ooh you can work through it speech" and screw him up even more....

 

[Lancecastor]

Bytor2112 is a newbie troll wanna-be who's been making the rounds spreading his wisdumb on the GB and the BDSM Forum...where his ass was swiftly handed to him, au jus.

Now it's here. Quelle surprise. I guess he'll soon be on the Gay/Lez Forum.

I predict he'll find a nice pair of tits in Ampics, get stuck there and never leave.

~

Another possible option is to tell your wife that if she likes having other men suck her tits she should go ahead and take as many lovers as she likes and leave it up to her to tell/not tell...saying nothing about your intentions.

Then don't mention it again until she brings it up again.

She'll tell you what She Wants eventually if you leave all options open... then shut up and wait.

 

[bytor2112]

Bytor2112 is a newbie troll wanna-be who's been making the rounds spreading his wisdumb on the GB and the BDSM Forum...where his ass was swiftly handed to him, au jus.

Now it's here. Quelle surprise. I guess he'll soon be on the Gay/Lez Forum.

I predict he'll find a nice pair of tits in Ampics, get stuck there and never leave.

~

Another possible option is to tell your wife that if she likes having other men suck her tits she should go ahead and take as many lovers as she likes and leave it up to her to tell/not tell...saying nothing about your intentions.

Then don't mention it again until she brings it up again.

She'll tell you what She Wants eventually if you leave all options open... then shut up and wait.

how exactly was my ass handed to me? calling me a troll??

i think i taught you mentally anguished folks a few things..

ass handed to me..by this crew.... now "THATS" FUNNY!!!

 

[je404ucd]

Bytor, if you don't respect the people here, why are you here?

Surely you have better things to do than give people a bad time.

 

[Metal_Monkey]

You all have given very helpful advise, except for that sorry ass bit. THe country where i am, marriage counselling is nearly unheard of. I'll work around it. but i always know there are open ears here.

thanks a bunch.

I'm sorry. Sheath brought to my attention that I made a judgement call, and I realize you weren't looking for that.

 

[hack72]

There there Bytor, i do appreciate your feed back also, and i have not taken offence to it.And no need to get defensive too. We all say, feel and do silly things. Mine was mine and THIS is YOURS.

Lancecastor
I have been doing just that, but you know how it is. as Xt4cY said, you want to put it behind you, but it comes back. the worst is knowing that she is keeping it away from me. That sucks the most.

THe latest update is, a few nights ago i tried prying 'stuff' out of my wife again regarding the relationship when we were making love and she just jumped out of bed. Geez....there goes my sex life for the next week.

HELLooooo Hand!!

 

[ReadyOne]

{SNIP}

The latest update is, a few nights ago i tried prying 'stuff' out of my wife again regarding the relationship when we were making love and she just jumped out of bed. Geez....there goes my sex life for the next week.

HELLooooo Hand!!

On the latest evidence, I vote "Guilty!"

 

[sheath]

I'm sorry. Sheath brought to my attention that I made a judgement call, and I realize you weren't looking for that.

You did?

I thought you gave good advice. Quite different from bytor's "she should dump your sorry ass!!" comment.

You put thought into your answer, and I agreed with you on all counts.

S.

 

[Mary Hall]

The latest update is, a few nights ago i tried prying 'stuff' out of my wife again regarding the relationship when we were making love and she just jumped out of bed. Geez....there goes my sex life for the next week.

Christ can`t you leave her alone for 5 minutes? Why would you want all the gory details? I sure wouldn`t

 

[assister49]

THe latest update is, a few nights ago i tried prying 'stuff' out of my wife again regarding the relationship when we were making love and she just jumped out of bed. Geez....there goes my sex life for the next week.

Perhaps you should read John Grey (Sheesh - Men are definately from Mars!). Guilt has nothing to do with her jumping out of bed as Ready one says. The lack of trust on your part and then having the audacity to goad her during lovemaking - I don't blame her.

If you want to talk about it, wait till you are both on neutral ground. And when there is nothing there - leave it alone.

 

[Metal_Monkey]

You did?

I thought you gave good advice. Quite different from bytor's "she should dump your sorry ass!!" comment.

You put thought into your answer, and I agreed with you on all counts.

S.

Oh. I misread. I skipped over bytor's comment completely (surprised?) so when I read hack72's reply, I thought he might have been referring to me (and my sorry ass post ), especially since he followed with marriage counseling not being an option.

I stated strong opinions based on my own assumptions, so I appologized for that.

I still stand by what I wrote, though.

I have more to say, especially based on hack72's latest posts, but my comments are potentially incindiary. So, hack72, if you would like to know what I think regarding your wife's behavior, I encourage you to PM me.

 

[SwtSouthrnSub]

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