Fine and Dandy

[Ambrosious]

Re: Oooh, forgot one

Used by men - I wouldn't fuck her with YOUR dick!

and somebody pushing!

 

[Expertise]

The maritimers chime in late, but with flair

These are regional but funny....

To express disgust- Gag me with a wet field mouse

To express a crowded feeling- Ya couldn't swing a dead cat in here without hitting someone

To express rage/desire to fight- Hold my coat and grab me a rock!

To comment on stupidity- He/she doesn't even know if her ass is bored or punched

To comment on slowness- Ya' gotta sight by a post to see 'em move.

Wheres the fire?- heres your hat whats your hurry?

Hungry?- jeetyet?

To express mild pleasure- Well that was better than a kick in the ass with a frozen shoe-pac (boot)

To express hate- I'd smack him with a nylon full of cat shit for somethin t' do.

cold- freeze the balls of a brass monkey

there are may more but I won't bore you.

 

[Ambrosious]

To show hatred: I wouldn't spit in your asshole if your guts were on fire.

Nervous as a long tail cat in a room full of rocking chairs.

Busier than a one legged man in an ass kicking contest.

Hotter that two rats fucking in a burlap sack in Miami.

Dumber than a democrat voting in Palm Beach. (sorry couldn't help it)

 

[Ksss]

Haven't seen you in a coons age (not sure exactly how long a coon lives though)
Pretty as a picture
Golly gee
Holy smokes
Jeepers creepers
Jumpin' Jiminy (sp)
Running gears to a katydid

 

[CW]

right as rain

fine as wine

clear as a muddied stream

all the grace of a bull in a china shop

 

[Guest]

More Maritime

 

[Purple Haze]

I haven't heard some of these since I was knee-high to a grasshopper.

He's so ugly he could make a train take a dirt road.

Does a bear shit in the woods?

It's colder than a witch's tit in a brass bra.

I haven't the foggiest.....

Hotter than a two-dollar pistol

That guy's full of beans.

She was on me like white on rice.

 

[Alyrahh]

Told to me by my father quite often as I was growing up: You couldn't pour piss out of a boot if the directions were on the heel.

 

[Latina]

Son of a sea-cook.

Dead as a door-nail.

Old as the hills/older than God.

Her blouse was as transparent as her reason for wearing it.

Dang, drat, and so on as substitutes for damn.

You've got a point there, but maybe if you wear a hat, nobody will notice.

-- Latina

 

[Expertise]

Hey Indy

When I said Maritime, I meant the maritime provinces of Canada.

Some more

Colder than a moose yard in January

Hotter than the hubs of hell

Its not the size of the wand but the magic behind it

We are also the masters of political wit. The following exchange took place in the Provincial Legislature a couple of years back.

MLA: Mr Speaker I would question if the honorable Minister of Transportation intends on building bridges over anymore brooks that I could urinate half way across?

Minister: Mr Speaker the member opposite is not right... (interupted)

MLA: No Mr. Speaker i'm not "right", if I was, I could pee the entire way across.

[Edited by Expertise on 11-29-2000 at 11:10 AM]

 

[Pepin]

"As long as you put your feet under my table, you will follow my rules."

She could ...
... suck a golf ball through a garden hose.
... suck the chrome off of a trailer hitch.


Just a few

Pepin

 

[sinister169]

Small Town Sayings

Busier than a whorehouse on payday.
One brick short of a load.
Etc.