Finding the clit.

[Guest]

I think the title speaks for itself, im fairly new to sex, and would like to know how exactly to find my partners clit with both my tounge, and fingers.

And what to do when i get there

thanks for any help

 

[Snork Maiden]

what? where? how?

You know, the best person to ask is your partner, spend some time to explore each other, everyone is different, enjoying different things. Subtle touches, tough touches.

Remember your partner's clitoris is very sensitive. Some women find clitoral stimulation, painful if not fully aroused. She will tell you what she likes, she should know her own body after all. She will give you better advice than anything you will read in a book or hear from strangers, just as you yourself will have things you like and dislike.

Sex should be fun and enjoyable, by sharing your preferences and talking to your partner you will find it a much more rewarding experience. First time or experienced doesn't really matter, there is too much expectation sometimes on how you should perform. There is no benchmark for sex, everyone has their own individual style which develops with time, like a play that has different actors. The story is the same but the interpretation changes subtly, thats what makes life so much fun. Trying different things, talking and experimenting is a great way to enjoy sex. Don't try to immitate. Be yourself, be confident, communicate and everything will work out just fine.

SM

 

[Guest]

I agree with everyting Snork Maiden wrote!

I remember in my early experiences thinking that I should know everything. The trouble is, it's not possible because some women hate what other women love. I have seen it and if you don't believe me read the boards a while.

I hope this frees you to try things gently, (not tentativly) guage her reaction, and ask if your not sure. I always liked, "Is that nice?"

Have fun. explore, and get to know your partner beter.

 

[Guest]

you said it

I tell them till they find it!

 

[Wizard]

I know it is hard to belive but I just happen to have a good link in my bookmarks for these kind of questions.................

http://www.the-clitoris.com/


Check it out.........

 

[Snork Maiden]

Sites like that just give me 'vaginismus'

Don't suppose there is an equally extensive site on the penis by any chance

SM

 

[Wizard]

I'm sure there is but I don't have that im my bookmarks.......lol sorry.....

 

[Wizard]

How about this...................

http://www.the-penis.com/

 

[rexfelis]

I have not read all of what was previously posted, nor visited the web sites, but this is how I find the clitoris, and how I deal with it.

If you are unsure whether you are touching the clitoris or not, as can be the case even for us "old pros" if we are not looking (depends on her clitoris), an easy way to find it (or find it again if you have "lost it" *grin*) is to find her vaginal opening with the tip of your finger, and then trace your finger directly up towards her belly button - slowly.

Most women have two "inner lips" and two "outer lips" to their vulvas, and if she has inner lips, your job is almost impossible to screw up. Just slide your finger in between those inner lips on their way to the bellybutton until you come to where the inner lips meet. This is almost always within a fingertip-width of the clitoris. If she's aroused, it will be a slightly hard bump.

If she does not have inner lips, then her clitoris should stand out like a boulder against a flat field when you spread her outer lips.

STOP HERE. No need to continue on to the bellybutton.

The clitoris will be almost completely covered by a flap of skin that protects it like a hood if she is aroused. If she can handle the directness, this flap of skin can help you keep your finger in position if you push it up so that it exposes the clitoris.

Women are delicate creatures here, so treat her vulva with special care unless she requests otherwise. Be vewwy vewwy gentle.

And as I have posted before, when using the fingers in the area of the vulva, make sure your fingers are well manicured and clean. No hangnails, no cuticles, no rough or sharp edges.

My 2 cents. Enjoy!

 

[krista_kisses]

i'll just be a smart ass and say, lick it till it feels good, that's a good place to start!

 

[ynattirb]

I agree with everything that's been said so far. Every woman is unique.

I want to add 2 things, though: lubricate & variety

If a woman is not wet enough, playing with her can be painful. And just because she is not wet does not necessarily mean that she is not aroused. There are some instances where a woman is physically incapable of lubricating herself (I had that problem when I was on depo). Have a lubricant handy and don't be afraid to use it. There is no such thing as too wet.

And when you are playing, use a little variety in your strokes. Repeating the same action/pressure/stroke over and over and over is more likely to make them numb than cum. You may find a stroke she likes, so vary the speed. Or pause every now and then to finger her. Play a little with the hood protecting it and then a little with the clit exposed. You get the idea.

I also want to stress that your partner will be your best guide, so don't do what you read or hear from others if it's not something she likes. Unfortunately, like everything else having to do with sex, there are no hard and fast rules.

 

[Guest]

thanks!

wow thanks for the replys so far

some of you spoke of a hood, how easy is that to find and push back? should i try? or is it just as nice with the hood still on?

 

[rexfelis]

The hood is basically the inner lips where they meet, and the clit is just beneath it. If she does not have inner lips, she may not have a well developed hood.

The hood is there to protect the clitoris. The clitoris has more nerve endings packed into it than any other place on her body. When she is aroused, it becomes swollen and even more sensitive.

Some women can handle directly being touched and some cannot. If she cannot, then touching the hood is a good idea instead usually.

The way most women are designed, they get only indirect stimulation from penetration. The inner lips move with contact with the penis, if they touch it, and this causes movement of the hood. Unfortunately, this is not enough for most women to really go anywhere.

I find that once a lover's clit is too sensitive to touch directly, I can lick the hood or the little spot under the clit, and that works nicely.

Tongues are better than fingers in most ways for clitoral stimulation. They are softer, flexible, and have a nice texture. They don't have fingernails. They're just not able to be used for a long time without practice.

As has been said, your best guide is your partner. Once you have found the clit, you have found the hood. As for what feels best, only she can answer that.

 

[xx_La_Reina_xx]

Sex Ed 101

The hood is basically the inner lips where they meet, and the clit is just ...

....As has been said, your best guide is your partner. Once you have found the clit, you have found the hood. As for what feels best, only she can answer that.

_______________________

Well, I think rexfelis covered everything......



*smile* Reina

 

[Another Shy One]

Re: what? where? how?

You know, the best person to ask is your partner, spend some time to explore each other, everyone is different, enjoying different things. Subtle touches, tough touches.

Remember your partner's clitoris is very sensitive. Some women find clitoral stimulation, painful if not fully aroused. She will tell you what she likes, she should know her own body after all. She will give you better advice than anything you will read in a book or hear from strangers, just as you yourself will have things you like and dislike.

Sex should be fun and enjoyable, by sharing your preferences and talking to your partner you will find it a much more rewarding experience. First time or experienced doesn't really matter, there is too much expectation sometimes on how you should perform. There is no benchmark for sex, everyone has their own individual style which develops with time, like a play that has different actors. The story is the same but the interpretation changes subtly, thats what makes life so much fun. Trying different things, talking and experimenting is a great way to enjoy sex. Don't try to immitate. Be yourself, be confident, communicate and everything will work out just fine.

SM

you're a very cruel girl.... putting your pics in a forum where most of the guys are sexually frustrated and cannot get girls like you....

*big sigh*


(sorry if this has nothing to do with the topic...)

 

[Mister Ryder]

It probably isn't her picture just an av, not that I am complaining its very a very nice av at that.

 

[Snork Maiden]

Hands Up..

Nope that really is me.

 

[Another Shy One]

*sigh* it is her! You should see her in the woods wearing a short dress!!!!



PCHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH and the first time here she said she won't post naked pics...this is even worse!!!!!





Hey, when are you going to give birth? Is it a male or female?

 

[funwdi]

Have her masturbate in front of you. That'll give you an idea of what she likes. If she won't, you're just going to have to ask questions because every woman is very different. Spreading her outer lips and licking her like ice cream right down the middle is always a good start. Watch her body language!
And best of luck...you'll figure it out!

 

[funwdi]

PS

By the way, nice pics, Snork Maiden!

 

[Guest]

MY 2 cents:

Rexfelis, you ARE the Guru ! Thanks !

 

[rexfelis]

MY 2 cents:

Rexfelis, you ARE the Guru ! Thanks !

I do what I can. lol

 

[Miltone]

All of the above

Rex, only a man who truly loves kitties can express so well what you have in such a helpful and constructive manner.

There is little I can do to add to this discussion, other than suggest that teachme and the other "novices" take their time and get to know their ladies well. So many times we are looking to make a big dramatic first impression, that we often forget that the best stews take time to simmer. Good lick, er, luck to all of you!

 

[rexfelis]

Re: All of the above

Rex, only a man who truly loves kitties can express so well what you have in such a helpful and constructive manner.

There is little I can do to add to this discussion, other than suggest that teachme and the other "novices" take their time and get to know their ladies well. So many times we are looking to make a big dramatic first impression, that we often forget that the best stews take time to simmer. Good lick, er, luck to all of you!

I am an ardent lover of kitties, that's for sure. lol

 

[Prime]

I know it is hard to belive but I just happen to have a good link in my bookmarks for these kind of questions.................

http://www.the-clitoris.com/


Check it out.........

hehe, the opening page has a picture of a flower...