Finding a sub in a small comunity

missycharm

Virgin
Joined
Apr 12, 2007
Posts
6
I am in a small city ( Binghamton, NY) and am having a hard time finding a male sub. I have joined online servicies like alt and collar me however it seems as if the folks on these sites are just "Playing a game". I do not know of any clubs in my area and at the moment travel is not an option. Any suggestions? :nana:
 
Ugh. I just tried to see if there's anything closer than Rochester to you groups-wise. Nyet.

Is there life in Ithaca? I honestly don't know.

But I did find a BDSM chat room on Alt.com for Binghamton. You might look there.
 
missycharm said:
I am in a small city ( Binghamton, NY) and am having a hard time finding a male sub. I have joined online servicies like alt and collar me however it seems as if the folks on these sites are just "Playing a game". I do not know of any clubs in my area and at the moment travel is not an option. Any suggestions? :nana:

I completely understand your problem, as my location shows! You're right about the game playing on collarme. Literotica is probably in the best forum as this is where I found my sub and began our D/g relationship. Good luck!
 
missycharm said:
I am in a small city ( Binghamton, NY) and am having a hard time finding a male sub. I have joined online servicies like alt and collar me however it seems as if the folks on these sites are just "Playing a game". I do not know of any clubs in my area and at the moment travel is not an option. Any suggestions? :nana:

My last slave lived in Endicott before he moved to New Jersey. He found me on collarme.

As for people playing a game, there are people on all of the sites who are not serious about D/s. You have to take the time to separate the wheat from the chaff.

I have had good luck on all of the sites, except Literotica. I do not seek submissives here on Literotica. In fact, none of my boys have even heard of it. But that does not mean others will not have a better outcome.

You just have to realize it will take time to get what you want.

Good luck to you.

Eb
 
I have no advice or wisdom... I just wanted to wish you good luck. It's hard to weed thru the fluff on those sites, but I promise there are real gems out there just waiting to be polished up.

Isn't patience grand?

Good luck. :heart:
 
Good luck

Good luck finding what you want. If you lived closer to me then maybe we could get together. :(

You might want to try this: Put an ad somewhere on the web that has words and phrases that a sub male would google if he were looking for a Domme in or around where you live; (e.g., Binghamton Domme seeks sub. Femdom seeks submissive. Enjoys strapon, cbt, etc. etc.) Does that help?

-L
 
I know the feeling

I live in Victoria, TX and the closest things I have found to fetish gear are the harnesses on the horses across the road from my house. *cries* As for bondage events, forget about it.
 
tanijaana said:
I live in Victoria, TX and the closest things I have found to fetish gear are the harnesses on the horses across the road from my house. *cries* As for bondage events, forget about it.

Hmmm... About 2 hours from Houston, about an hour and a half from Corpus Christi... About 2 hours from San Antonio... You aren't THAT far from kinksters and bondage events hon. You are surrounded by kinksters. (Unless you are in the Victoria, TX near Waco, in which case you will find kink groups in Waco, Killeen, Austin, DFW....)

At one time in my life I was travelling almost 1200 miles one way to hook up with kinksters. The closest were almost 240 miles. So I don't wanna hear any bitching about travelling a couple of hours to meet folks.

Soooooo for tani and missy both:
To find local Munches, email groups, and events in your area, try:

SceneUSA - http://www.darkheart.com/sceneusa.html
Caryl's Page - http://www.drkdesyre.com/
The BDSM Events Page - http://www.thebdsmeventspage.com/ which has links to both organizations AND events.
 
Evil_Geoff said:
Hmmm... About 2 hours from Houston, about an hour and a half from Corpus Christi... About 2 hours from San Antonio... You aren't THAT far from kinksters and bondage events hon. You are surrounded by kinksters. (Unless you are in the Victoria, TX near Waco, in which case you will find kink groups in Waco, Killeen, Austin, DFW....)

At one time in my life I was travelling almost 1200 miles one way to hook up with kinksters. The closest were almost 240 miles. So I don't wanna hear any bitching about travelling a couple of hours to meet folks.

Soooooo for tani and missy both:
To find local Munches, email groups, and events in your area, try:

SceneUSA - http://www.darkheart.com/sceneusa.html
Caryl's Page - http://www.drkdesyre.com/
The BDSM Events Page - http://www.thebdsmeventspage.com/ which has links to both organizations AND events.
I live 40 mins from there...trust me, there are no events around here. lol
 
Kajira Callista said:
I live 40 mins from there...trust me, there are no events around here. lol
40 minutes? From my perspective that's a nothing drive, hon. I used to commute for work that much...

The first time I drove to meet anyone from the lifestyle it was almost 4 hours. That's "day trip" range for me. I consider anything under a 2 hour drive (one way) "doable" for an afternoon or evening trip.

When you want it bad enough that you are willing to travel 1200 miles one way, now you're talking major inconvenience, but you know it's a need, not a want, at that point.

You can find kinksters, groups and events all around you... you just might need to be reaching out a little bit farther... South Carolina isn't quite day trip range but still... :devil: I can hope! :rose:
 
Last edited:
Evil_Geoff said:
40 minutes? From my perspective that's a nothing drive, hon. I used to commute for work that much...

The first time I drove to meet anyone from the lifestyle it was almost 4 hours. That's "day trip" range for me. I consider anything under a 2 hour drive (one way) "doable" for an afternoon or evening trip.

When you want it bad enough that you are willing to travel 1200 miles one way, now you're talking major inconvenience, but you know it's a need, not a want, at that point.

You can find kinksters, groups and events all around you... you just might need to be reaching out a little bit farther... South Carolina isn't quite day trip range but still... :devil: I can hope! :rose:
LOL the OP is 40 mins away is what I meant EG. And SC isnt so far...I just have too much luggage :cattail:
 
Kajira Callista said:
LOL the OP is 40 mins away is what I meant EG. And SC isnt so far...I just have too much luggage :cattail:
But I LIKE all that "junk in the trunk!" :kiss:
 
Far harder to find a Domme I reckon, even in a smaller community there's likely to be more subs than dommes from the general trends i've seen. Still looking myself....
 
Back
Top