Finding a pro Dom/me?

[Cirrus]

JayinNY's thread got me to thinking...I've wondered about this for some time. I don't think I personally would want to pay for a scene with a professional dominant as I need a personal connection to and an emotional bond with my play partner, but I do have a few curiosity type questions.

First of all, how does one go about finding and contacting a pro Dom/me? There sure as hell ain't nothin' in the Yellow Pages under BDSM!!

Second, as a general rule, and I say general because I'm sure all people and situations are different, is there a fee for a certain type of scene or activities, a flat rate, or is that discussed at the time?

And last, I'm sure hard and soft limits are discussed, but aside from that, who desides what the scene will include, the sub or the Dom/me, or does a scene usually just progress without anything specific, while staying within the decided limits?

 

[NemoAlia]

Cirrus -- you might want to check out the enlightening threads listed under "Professional BDSM" on the third page of the Library.

Aside from that, I surely don't have much to offer!

 

[lark sparrow]

I went to a pro Domme once for one session, Cirrus. It was exceptionally odd as a *woman*, to be paying for something with such erotic overtones!

I didn't have any fetishes that I wanted specifically played out, but I felt more comfortable exploring the actual physical side of BDSM and getting an overview as it were that she created, with someone who was knowledgable, well-known and impartial. The Domme I chose is highly respected and out in the community, though she has retired from pro Dominance to focus entirely on educating.

In these parts, San Francisco, there are many pro Dommes/educators and the going rate is about $200 an hour. If you do a search on the internet for pro Domme and/or location you will find tons of links, and sites devoted to pro Dommes. Before the internet, I believe there were certain publications that pro Dommes advertised in, but I don't know that much about it personally. I know for some people there is a stereotype about "hookers with whips" and I am sure there are some out there... there are also some incredibly knowledged, skilled and passionate pro Dommes (who are also lifestylers).

If you have any more questions I can try to answer them, though my experience is very limited. It was a wonderful session with a wonderful woman, but the intent was only to explore the physical side with real whips, and real bondage, etc. Once I knew I liked it then it was time to look for an intimate relationship.

PS There are many boards such as this one, devoted to pro Dommes and their faithfuls. I can give you links if you care to explore but as they are other BBs I'm not sure I should post them.

PPS It was one of the most nerve-wracking new experiences I have ever had for a myriad of reasons, and it involved alot of trust as there was some cloak and dagger mystery in ensuring her safety... calls from pay phones to get an actual address moments before the session... not to mention letting a complete stranger fully immobolize me in bondage alone in a dungeon... so a word to the wise, choose very carefully - it's not for the faint of heart lol. After that let her take control, she's a pro!

 

[Ebonyfire]

Alternative Newpapers

Many cities have alternative newpapers that cater to the underground lifestyles of a specific location and/or city.

They do have ads, However online there is a webring and that is very successful.

Also, many ProDommes are in some BESM groups too , and you can meet them there.

Ebony

 

[HzDomme]

I took my sub to a Pro Domme for a present a few years back. She rented a play space in a local shop that had a few dungeons and play rooms. I paid her $250 for an hour and a half session if I remember correctly.
The first 15 minutes were spent talking about limits and safe words. After that I sat back and watched. I wanted to see how a professional would treat a sub. I wanted to see his reactions to her touches and commands. I could have asked for a scripted scene but that wasn't what I wanted.
As with anyone you hire, you work out the details before issuing a work order.

It was very interesting to find that although I was very new to the lifestyle at the time I probably knew as much about supposed rules and protocal as she did. It helped me see that each couple has to define what BDSM is to them. Yes, there are accepted "standards" but a lot of what you read on the web is just fantasy bull.

This board is one of only places I've found where you can truly learn about "real" BDSM


Many escort services in even small cities will tell you what they have available and of course, the web is always a great place to start. Check out eros-guide.com

Hope this helps answer your questions.

 

[Ebonyfire]

I Yes, there are accepted "standards" but a lot of what you read on the web is just fantasy bull.

You said a mouthful there! The fantasy scene quotient online is very high.

I think many folks just like to use BDSM themes they find online as jack off material.

Eb

 

[HzDomme]

You said a mouthful there! The fantasy scene quotient online is very high.

I think many folks just like to use BDSM themes they find online as jack off material.

Eb

LMAO Ebony Now THAT is a mouthful.