Find your third?

[siren999]

My husby and I were reading this thread http://forum.literotica.com/showthread.php?t=653918 and we got to chatting about our mutual threesome fantasies. Husby is Bi so we had a few options open to us which we discussed and settled tentatively on MFF.

So I have a few questions that hopefully someone can answer:

1. Whilst I find women attractive and would find it a huge turn on to be with (and see my husby with) another woman I'm just not that interested in the physical sex part. Stroking, kissing and touching is fine but present me with another vagina and I'm just not all that thrilled (for want of a better word) ... but for me its not about sex with her its about the three of us being 'involved' if that makes sense ... so what could we do to make sure i'm not sitting there with nothing to do or feeling like I should be doing something?

2. (And this is probably very important ) How the heck to we go about finding her? Whilst husby and I are VERY adventurous in the bedroom we wouldn't know where to find any swinging clubs or groups ... and (daft as it may sound) thats not how I want to find her. Likewise the idea of placing a personal ad seems ... not us. So how have any of you successfully found your third?

Sorry if this all seems long winded and complicated - its just that if we do this we want to do it in a way that we're both comfortable with

 

[sweetdreamer17]

still looking for one. i am like you; i don't want to find some random girl at a swinging club or something. but at the same time how do you ask someone you meet "hey, wanna play with us?" my guy would be more willing to find her anywhere i think, as it's mostly his thing, but i want to find someone i actually like as a friend and am attracted to... not some random stranger.

 

[Shadowann2]

My hubby and I recently joined Swing Village. It has singles and couples on there. When you sign up, you get a free 15 day trial, after that, I think it's like $20 a month, if you pay monthly. It's less than that per month is you pay for more months in advance. We are still in our trial period, but we have talked to quite a few people...everyone has been very kind and welcoming. We have another couple that we are going to meet IRL next week. The hubby and I weren't sure when we signed up if we were going to go past the trial, but our experience has been so good, I'm pretty sure we will.

It goes by zip code, so you aren't searching profiles from people who live 2 hours away!

I hope this isn't concidered spam...it was recomended to me by someone else on this site, and I hope it works for you, like it has for us.

 

[infinity706]

My husby and I were reading this thread http://forum.literotica.com/showthread.php?t=653918 and we got to chatting about our mutual threesome fantasies. Husby is Bi so we had a few options open to us which we discussed and settled tentatively on MFF.

So I have a few questions that hopefully someone can answer:

1. Whilst I find women attractive and would find it a huge turn on to be with (and see my husby with) another woman I'm just not that interested in the physical sex part. Stroking, kissing and touching is fine but present me with another vagina and I'm just not all that thrilled (for want of a better word) ... but for me its not about sex with her its about the three of us being 'involved' if that makes sense ... so what could we do to make sure i'm not sitting there with nothing to do or feeling like I should be doing something?

2. (And this is probably very important ) How the heck to we go about finding her? Whilst husby and I are VERY adventurous in the bedroom we wouldn't know where to find any swinging clubs or groups ... and (daft as it may sound) thats not how I want to find her. Likewise the idea of placing a personal ad seems ... not us. So how have any of you successfully found your third?

Sorry if this all seems long winded and complicated - its just that if we do this we want to do it in a way that we're both comfortable with

Well, honestly, if you're attracted to women and end up doing the stroking, kissing and touching, it'll probably lead to the 'physical sex' part. Afterall, once you have your hands on her, a little pussy stroking couldn't hurt, right? Then, "Wow! She seems to really like this!" and before you know it, you might be eating your first box lunch. Sure, it might not seem that sexy thinking about it now, but I'm sure you know, things tend to happen once the heat of the moment hits.

As for how to find her, a swinger really would be a good choice. Things tend to go better when at least one person involved knows what they're doing.

 

[SweetErika]

Husby is Bi so we had a few options open to us which we discussed and settled tentatively on MFF.

Maybe you should reconsider that and get your feet wet with a MFM or MMF, since it sounds like one of those arrangements would prove far less complicated given your requirements.

1. Whilst I find women attractive and would find it a huge turn on to be with (and see my husby with) another woman I'm just not that interested in the physical sex part. Stroking, kissing and touching is fine but present me with another vagina and I'm just not all that thrilled (for want of a better word) ... but for me its not about sex with her its about the three of us being 'involved' if that makes sense ... so what could we do to make sure i'm not sitting there with nothing to do or feeling like I should be doing something?

Can you not arrange for the focus to be on him or discuss your desires beforehand?

Being/feeling left out is almost always a risk with threesomes and moresomes, so if it's not something you can handle, this may not be the right avenue for you to explore.

2. (And this is probably very important ) How the heck to we go about finding her? Whilst husby and I are VERY adventurous in the bedroom we wouldn't know where to find any swinging clubs or groups ... and (daft as it may sound) thats not how I want to find her. Likewise the idea of placing a personal ad seems ... not us. So how have any of you successfully found your third?

I guess you could try the 'propositioning a random woman in a bar/club' route, but that's probably not going to be as successful as ads or swingers.

Really, for what you're looking for, I'd say targeting swingers (women and couples) and prostitutes would be your best bet for getting what you want on your terms within a reasonable period of time.

Out of curiosity, why do you think swinging and ads are not for you? Is it possible you have misconceptions?

Honestly, if you're having sex with another person or couple with no emotional attachment, you're swinging. That's what it's typically called, and people who do it are swingers, even if it's only for a night or three. There are all sorts of swinging clubs, groups, enthusiasts, parties and websites, so perhaps it's just a matter of finding one or two that you will be comfortable with. If you are willing to go this route, google and connecting with experienced swingers should give you a pretty good idea of what's availalbe.

 

[siren999]

Thanks

Thanks for replying guys and girls.

We did discuss the extra man option but it was something neither of us was particularly comfortable with. Don't know why really it just seemed a natural selection to have another woman.

I definately want the focus to be on him ... part of the allure for me is seeing him with a woman. Its not so much being left out that worries me ... its more feeling a bit of a spare part.

Is it weird that I would prefer to feel some sort of connection (other than sexual) to our third? I just feel like its such a trusting situation that I would have to have some beginnings of a friendship ... but maybe thats horribly naive

I have no general aversion to swinging clubs/groups its just simply not knowing how to go about finding one and our general lifestyle doesn't lend itself to joining one - for many boring reasons the biggest of which is childcare and the second being husbys random shift patterns.

As for ads ... well I do tend to shy away from them. In the past when we looked at ads looking for inspiration they all seemed pretty fake (granted it was ads in bog standard porn mags and nothing specialised).

@infinity706 - I fully agree that heat of the moment can lead to being more adventurous and I'm sure knowing that I'm bringing pleasure to someone would spur me on. After posting last night I was thinking that taking a nice selection of toys along would also help

@shadowann2 - How did you find swing village? I'm in the UK so I can't join but did you google or was it word of mouth? and is it like online dating and then arranging a meet?

@sweetdreamer17 - I know exactly what you mean about connecting with the other person. I'm just concerned that feeling that way means i will be too emotionally invested which sets me up for jealousy rearing its ugly head. However my other concern is that if I'm not connected will it be the experience I want it to be? Ah good old catch 22

 

[Shadowann2]

@shadowann2 - How did you find swing village? I'm in the UK so I can't join but did you google or was it word of mouth? and is it like online dating and then arranging a meet?

sorry...I didn't realize you were in the UK. Someone on this site recomended it to me when I posted a thread asking a similar question. Perhaps someone else on this site lives in the UK and knows of something like Swing Village in the UK?

Yes, it is like online dating and then arranging a meet. After talking a while, exchanging Yahoo IDs, and talking on there, we exchanged phone numbers and arranged a meet.