Financial Domination!

[LovelyLiss1984]

Hi All,

I hope everyone is well.

I really need some advice. I am a sex line operator and really enjoy my job. Chatting, flirting, teasing and turning on men is really enjoyable for me. If a caller is nice and kind I like to make sure all of his sexual fantasies are satisfied. Usually this involves vanilla chat which I have down pat.

I spoke to someone today who is really into financial domination but has found that he wants more of a connection than a dom who doesnt give a shit about him but just keeps asking for more money. This confuses me slightly as I thought that was the point.

I decided to do a little research and looked at loads of websites about financial domination. What I dont understand is what does the sub achieve through this. Is it the pleasure of giving sort of against his/her will or do they look for something in return. For example if the sub gives the dom money for a pair of shoes does he get pleasure from the fact he gave her money he worked hard for and she spent it on something she wanted or does he get pleasure from seeing her wearing them? AM I MAKING ANY SENSE AT ALL?

Also I found lots of posts from people who find it objectionable but I find it quite interesting. I would really love to hear from anybody who is dominant and has any insights on this subject, anybody who has more information on this topic, anyone with any experience of this and of course any submissives who are into this.

Thanks for you time. I hope this makes sense and that you will contact me with any insight you may have


Take Care

Liss

 

[DeservingBitch]

Hi LovelyLiss,

Hopefully Netzach will come in to comment, as I think she has more insights on the topic than anyone else here.

I have only a short and limited experience with financial domination.

A guy on another forum contacted me offering to send me a relatively expensive flogger I had mentioned drooling over in a discussion. I didn't put much faith into it (when it sounds to good to be true...) but I did give it a try, purchased a PO box, and told him to send it there.

Two weeks later, the flogger was there.

He didn't want much in return. My writting back to thank him, and giving him a few suggestions for future gifts seemed to do it for him. My impression was that he was enjoying being 'taken advantage' of by a pretty, smart girl who wasn't a bitch to him but also didn't lavish him with attention.

It lasted about 3 months, through which we exchanged no more than a dozen emails, and during which he spent about 2000$ on various gifts to me. And one day, he just went MIA.

I have no idea if he disappeared becaused I wasn't giving him what he was looking for anymore, if he started to want more out of it, or if the fickleness is just part of the game.

 

[BiBunny]

Fickleness is just a part of the game for a lot of them, from what I understand.

 

[LovelyLiss1984]

Thank you DeservingBitch for the swift response. So do you think this guy you were involved with just liked the fact that he'd been taken advantage of but not necessarily by someone who was a bitch to him (ironic considering your name!)? Liss

 

[catalina_francisco]

Here are a couple of threads which deal with it and which I remember the title of...

Financial Slavery/Submission

The Money Slave Thing

Outrageous Demands

Sugar Daddies

Catalina

 

[TenJed69]

Controlling her finances does appeal to me, but not in the 'buy me a new laptop' way that a lot of female doms seem to do it. I'd want to run her finances as an asset within the relationship, to do with them whatever is best for us - usually this would mean giving her an allowance and requiring her to ask to spend above it, and I would usually give permission. But I'd invest a lot of it, keep her money working (right now it just sits in the bank, such a waste!) and if we ever needed something like a new boiler then I might take some or all of the funds from her. Wouldn't be buying myself extravagant gifts or anything.

Don't do it yet though, right now I might tell her to buy an item of clothing or a specific item to use in a scene or something like that, but not outright control of her finances.

For me it's just part of wanting to run the relationship and to make sure she's living the best life she can as the best person she can be. Like making sure she's doing well at work, not stuck in a dead end job, moving up etc, I want to make sure she's not squandering her money and that it's being put to the best use it can be.

 

[Marquis]

Why I have yet to put my bitches onto this shit is beyond all comprehension.

 

[Netzach]

Hi LovelyLiss,

Hopefully Netzach will come in to comment, as I think she has more insights on the topic than anyone else here.

I have only a short and limited experience with financial domination.

A guy on another forum contacted me offering to send me a relatively expensive flogger I had mentioned drooling over in a discussion. I didn't put much faith into it (when it sounds to good to be true...) but I did give it a try, purchased a PO box, and told him to send it there.

Two weeks later, the flogger was there.

He didn't want much in return. My writting back to thank him, and giving him a few suggestions for future gifts seemed to do it for him. My impression was that he was enjoying being 'taken advantage' of by a pretty, smart girl who wasn't a bitch to him but also didn't lavish him with attention.

It lasted about 3 months, through which we exchanged no more than a dozen emails, and during which he spent about 2000$ on various gifts to me. And one day, he just went MIA.

I have no idea if he disappeared becaused I wasn't giving him what he was looking for anymore, if he started to want more out of it, or if the fickleness is just part of the game.

Yes.

Don't second guess. Don't be a bitch unless that seems to make them happy. Give them the outlet if they want it or don't and don't base your retirement plan off this.

I like the ones who are happy if I'm a complete bitch on wheels best. The money is symbolic then, and sometimes they feel the need to actually pay it, sometimes they just want to pay to talk about it, which is kind of weird logic, but actually makes some sense.

 

[Betticus]

This one is just my personal opinion and I don't have anything to back it up.

I think that part of the financial domination factor comes into play with non physical contact relationships via an electronic medium when the situation for the sub becomes "real". Perhaps the kind of submission that they are achieving over the phone or net doesn't feel real to them until something very real to them is taken away.

Just my .04 cents.

 

[Etoile]

I got into FS extremely briefly. Had several guys interested; only one came through, and the pair of boots he sent ended up not fitting me.

For me it was kind of like getting paid to be an actor, and I think that's how a lot of the financial Dommes out there operate. I was lurking in a "Dommes only" chat room and everybody seemed to think it was hilarious. The guys themselves don't seem to know, or care, that it's all a charade.

You have to be very careful doing FS over the internet, though. Remember who you're talking to, and DO make a personal connection. Know your subs and treat them the way they want to be treated. As for the motives, I can't say I understand them 100%. Especially since half the guys I talked to were married and therefore couldn't devote a lot of cash to their desires.

Those of you who are referring to controlling finances, or your already-established subs giving you their money...that's not really the same thing as FS as it is discussed on the internet. I would consider controlling finances of your sub to be part of ownership, not really "financial slavery" as such.

 

[catalina_francisco]

Those of you who are referring to controlling finances, or your already-established subs giving you their money...that's not really the same thing as FS as it is discussed on the internet. I would consider controlling finances of your sub to be part of ownership, not really "financial slavery" as such.

Ditto. I do find it offensive so many are ready to ridicule or seek to exploit (not in the way intended or desired) those subs into it, and largely as with most things that get exploited, snickered at or put down in the lifestyle, a lack of understanding or knowledge seems to be the only explanation.

Catalina

 

[Netzach]

There's definitely a difference. It's like the masochist who wants a beating, anyone will do versus the person who will take pain for their established owner.

I embrace both of those things in either case when the time inclination and person is cool.

 

[LovelyLiss1984]

I've been researching it over the last couple of days and I've come to the conclusion that some people are looking to be abused, some looking to be manipulated. I sense that most are getting the abuse judging by the websites I've seen.

The guy I talk to wants the manipulation. He wants to feel that the person dominating him is interested in more than his money. So far I have been testing him in other ways, ways to show his devotion to me and please me that dont involve his money.

I like it. Obviously the money is nice but the moral issues do trouble me and ultimately I would not want to put someone in financial ruin.

Does that make sense?

What do you all think?

Thank you by the way for all the replies. This is the first time I've written on here and it's nice to know that there are so many nice users who are ready to offer a girl a bit of advice when she asks for it, especially advice that is really useful and insightful.

Thanks All xx

 

[DeservingBitch]

Ditto. I do find it offensive so many are ready to ridicule or seek to exploit (not in the way intended or desired) those subs into it, and largely as with most things that get exploited, snickered at or put down in the lifestyle, a lack of understanding or knowledge seems to be the only explanation.

Catalina

I find it interesting that those guys into FD are considered victimized by the humiliation and ridicule they are often the object of. First, it is assuming that they are somehow not aware of this, that it is happening being their back or something. And also, it is assuming that they aren't OK with it.

From my understanding, and while obviously not the case for all dudes into FD, the humiliation and ridicule is part of the deal, part of what they are looking for, and not only from the person they are having a FD relationship with, but also from the larger community.

I am fully aware that many self-proclaimed domme aren't the most ethical people in the world, and that many are probably getting into FD to exploit those guys. But why is that relevant, or problematic? If the guy is looking for FD with the humiliation/ridicule factor, isn't he getting the best deal with such an 'unethical bitch'?

 

[catalina_francisco]

I find it interesting that those guys into FD are considered victimized by the humiliation and ridicule they are often the object of. First, it is assuming that they are somehow not aware of this, that it is happening being their back or something. And also, it is assuming that they aren't OK with it.

I'm not assuming anything, and once again, this is not a subject I am only vaguely familiar with. I am speaking of those who have been on the receiving end, and yes, past responses here which basically put them in the 'dumbass' categories simply because this is what gets them off. Humiliation is subjective...not all forms are going to work, nor does it always work favorably when someone is being targeted by someone who doesn't have a clue and thinks less of them because their kink is different from their own. I have known many a male sub who was not OK with being exploited by someone who didn't share their kink and thought them an easy target...comes down to the same as saying 'well a sub wants to submit, why if they are real don't they submit to everyone who asks them to including the vanilla wannabes looking for a quick fuck'?......or because someone knows their PYL calls them a slut, then feel they or anyone can do the same...isn't the same thing at all. Then again I am funny about respecting people for being upfront and able to admit their kink and/or ask for what they need/want without needing to feel superior myself because they may differ from me or need something I don't particularly feel I need. As for unethical Dommes taking advantage...just isn't my brand of ethics and like I feel about anyone who is knowingly unethical, if they can sleep at night and live with themselves, good luck to them, but personally I have no respect for them or their ethics.

Catalina

 

[BiBunny]

Wait...huh? I'm not sure where the animosity is coming from about findom here.

I'm a broke-ass college student if there ever was one, LOL, but findom isn't something I'm really interested in myself. I've been exposed to it a lot through my job, but it's just not my cup of tea. Oftentimes, it requires elaborate head games, which isn't really my thing. I'm too straightforward for that, though I know that all findom isn't like that.

I guess what I'm saying is, I see it a lot. If that's their kink, then that's their kink. I don't really share it myself, but I suppose if a guy really wanted to spoil me without all the games that often surround it, I'd be willing to let him. I don't think that's taking advantage of or ridiculing him at all. If it makes him happy, so be it. I certainly don't think he's any more of a dumbass than a lot of things I see on sites like this one all the time. (Sex with automobiles, anyone?)

 

[Netzach]

If someone wants to be ridiculed, then what is the problem with it?

If someone wants to feel like they're a victim of predation, in order to create that illusion it takes a degree of investment and thought to make that a reality. And sometimes they want "real." cat, you've talked about how you can't abide things that feel too role-played.

I talk to a lot of guys for whom I'm too self-aware for it to be hot, we talk about them hiring a stripper to treat them like shit. The incredulity of the woman is part of the hotness, I'm too "tipped off" in a way. I'm not shocked enough, I don't really deep down FULLY think of them as a dumbass or not only that. Sometimes they want to meet someone who does think they're a substandard moron for being into their thing.

 

[TenJed69]

If there's any subs (male or female) who feel like being findom-ed then please get in touch Or should that be: get in touch you worthless piece of shit!

I can pretend to be a girl and send pics of ex girlfriends labelled as me if you like.